I met my bf online,we planned to marry.But he didn't come to my country.I had thought he didn't really love me,he had another woman.we often fight online.But two days ago,I knew the truth,he had the prostate cancer,it means he cannot make love or have babies forever.He has lived in the pains and face everything alone there.Because he is 45 years old and I am 26 years old,he will not make me wait for him.He trired to be cold to me.
when I knew the truth,I am so sad.I don't mind this,I want to marry him and take good care of him.But what can I do so that he can accept my decision?Most couples have sex and babies,but they are not happy really.I wish I can live with him happily.
Please help me,thanks
2006-12-13 21:18:13 · 10 answers · asked by honeylinda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we have met each other in person before.he is a good man and he treats me very well,spoil me and love me as a queen.after he knew his sickness,he prended to be cold to me.his operation has removed his prostate.Now his penis cannot be hard any more,I saw it in person
2006-12-13 21:38:58 · update #1
I just want to say he is honest to me.He has no family there.we should marry one year ago before he got the sickness.He and his parents are kind to me and my family.we have met in person many times.
2006-12-13 21:59:38 · update #2
Perhaps he is going through a life crisis right now, be patient. After all losing ones manhood is not any easy thing to cope with.
2006-12-13 21:21:10 · answer #1 · answered by ARMCHAIR WARRIOR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to sound bad or anything, but I don't believe what he told you. You have only met him once, and let's face it, you don't really know that much about him. And just by hearing your side of the story, I think he is just messing with you, he probably have a family in another country, but just flirting around with chicks on the internet. He might really have the cancer, but again, he might not find you attractive, thats why he didn't have a hard on when he saw you, or as you said, he is 45, he might be having difficulties to achieve an erection.
You don't really know that much about him and you want to marry him and take care of him? That is very sweet of you to want to take care of him, but think again seriously. If you are to marry him, you will be leaving your own country and starting everything fresh in his country, it will all be very sweet and happily ever after if things go well for the two of you, what if it doesn't? You said you often fight online, then it is possible you will often fight in person too. If things don't go well, what will you do? You need to look out for yourself also.
Just don't jump to conclusion in a hurry, give it some time.
Good luck honey.
2006-12-14 05:50:25 · answer #2 · answered by devviash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, meeting someone online can be a wonderful thing, especially if that person lives close. Meeting them in different countries seems very complicated to me. In your situation, you are nearly 20 years younger than him. I would say that is too great of an age difference between the two of you. His situation sounds depressing, but you can always wish him well, and pray for him. I am not even talking about the fact that he may not be able to have kids. I mean, if you love someone, this should not matter. But it sounds like maybe you should seek someone more your age.
2006-12-14 05:45:20 · answer #3 · answered by jason b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did they catch this cancer in time, and remove it?? Or has it spread,?? He may not want to come to where you are and just marry you and then die.. if it was caught in time, and he is OK, then he is probably still going thru the chemo and radiation, and does not want you to see him like that.. He sounds like a very proud man.. You must admire him for that..
There is a great difference in your age, and he probably figures that some day you Will want children and he will never be able to give them to you, and that will drive you apart.. and that could very well happen.. and he would be in a strange country, with no one.. Please think this over. and then write him again, he may have the right idea.. you may need to move on.. Good Luck..
2006-12-14 05:25:45 · answer #4 · answered by nannyj37 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u should be parient to take ur dicession. Why he didn't clear u everything before make a relation.. I don't beleive any relation that starts with some matters that was not open.
2006-12-14 05:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by Humayun K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry him. You're too young and will end up hating him. Marry a young guy that can have kids. Life's too short. You loved once...you can love again.
2006-12-14 05:21:59 · answer #6 · answered by catnrawdog75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is someone you met on-line?
Sounds like you really love him. He's in a different country there's nothing you can do for him.
Sorry about your love. Good~Luck to you.
2006-12-14 05:23:58 · answer #7 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what? u haven't met him and u wanna marry him ???? are you out of your mind???????
maybe he made that up when he said he got prostate cancer just because he doesn't wanna be with u. what do u know? u're in a different country!
honey ... don't date anybody online ... go find urself a "real" boyfriend. wake up!!!
2006-12-14 05:21:56 · answer #8 · answered by Tartlettes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh!how sad....
well...that's life sister...
on his part..of course you just don't know he love you..and because of that love..he's sacrificing his own happiness for you to be happy wiht other man who's capable of making love to you and eventually having a child..or so....
and on your part..as you love him,,too..you wanted to be wiht him forever inspite of his situation..
i think the best thing for you to do is to continue showing him..how much you love him...and pray to God..
i believe that if you really love each other..you will stay together..as they say..love conquers all...goodluck..don't give up..
its the best time for you to show him your love..and i believe that its a time he needs you most..right?..he's just trying to be cold because for him..its the best thing to do..but prove to him that he's wrong
2006-12-14 05:29:06 · answer #9 · answered by yucanzee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, this is easy, if he is being cold to you then he obviously doesn't want you in his life. if he did then he would not treat you like this. see if he contacts you first now. send nothing to him and see how much he really cares towards you!!
2006-12-14 05:21:46 · answer #10 · answered by Kirsty N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋