A man I've been dating for the past 5 years has declared his intentions to marry me. We are both in our late 30s, and I have a lot of affection for him but he is so boring! However, he loves me and thinks the world of me, has a good job and is very reliable and has no habits that I can't stand. I don't find him intellectually stimulating at all (he's good and simple in a Forrest Gump kinda way), but I'd like to raise a child and start a family and I feel as though I'm running out of time. He's keen to do the same and has just proposed. He would make a reliable husband and father, but I am worried that we will drift apart from sheer boredom. Since he's a good person should I marry him and just make the best of it? Am I justified in having mixed feelings or do I just not appreciate how lucky I really am? Help!
2006-12-13 21:00:29 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You are very lucky to have a man like that... Girl..trust me, you will regret it if you didn't have him anymore!!
It's so hard to find a man that is just as good as him.
Mine is special!
2006-12-13 21:15:14 · answer #1 · answered by Nikki 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I find it harsh sorry. Your husband is basically the same man he was before you married just more introverted by the sound of it. I think the question you need to be asking is should you have gotten married? And do you love him for who he is or are you better off being on your own? Talk to him, a marriage takes two people and there are no doubt things about you that drive him nuts too. Talk about how to bring excitement back into the relationship. Take your sex to the next level and bring back that spark that you once had. And costumes, toys, role play, get a spray tan whatever it all helps. Generally sex lives fail when one persons feels insecure in themselves. He probably smells bad and looks and acts old because he is tired love! Don't bring the man down for working hard to keep a roof over your heads you should be telling him how much you love and appreciate his contributions. If the guy aint funny well I can't say much for that just keep up the pity laughs!!
2016-03-13 06:47:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So he was good enough to string along for five years but not to marry? You just want your cake and eat it too. Everyone is going to have something you don't quite like, why not marry an exciting guy that will treat you like crap, and won't be a good father, you won't be bored you'll be constantly wondering what he's going to do to you next. I hope you are prettier on the outside than this question shows you are on the inside, if not you better marry this one you aren't getting any younger, thinner or prettier.
2006-12-13 21:13:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it!! 1. You are getting in the way of him finding a woman that will really appreciate him. Believe it or not, there are probably tons of girls who want exactly what you have. 2. You will not be happy in the long run and will fantasize about the road untraveled. Don't pick him just because he is the low hanging fruit. Be with someone that ignites all your senses. Otherwise, you'll just end up resenting the guy for holding you back from what you really wanted, and he will get a woman who doesn't truly adore him. You both deserve to be with the person who is the right fit.
2006-12-13 21:07:48 · answer #4 · answered by Smart_ca_latina 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
very hard to say. Do you really love him? I don't have a lot of very intellectual talk with my wife either, but I couldn't imagine my life without her. My job is very intellectually stimulating, so I'm not that fussed. I am stronger on some fronts, she's on others. I would definitely not call her boring. If you're really bored then that 's a problem that you should discuss with him. Maybe you can find a common interest. Good luck.
2006-12-13 23:20:08 · answer #5 · answered by Thou Shalt Not Think 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he must not be too boring, you've been with him for 5 years
you could do a lot worse, it's hard to find a good man today
I;ve been married 35 yrs, I don't think of my relationship in terms of love, I think my husband is my best friend and a good companion, and he'll do anything I ask him to do but he is boring and likes to stay home & read
if you marry this man and have children then things won't be so boring anymore, will they?
another thing, always marry a man who loves you more than you love him
2006-12-13 21:21:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have answered your own question. Go ahead and marry him because you've spent 5 years of your life with this boring dependable guy--make a couple of kids together and then screw up more lives because he's just so BORING< STABLE>DEPENDABLE. Or--better yet--go find that man that keeps you guessing all the time, wondering when he's coming home, IF he's coming home, who he is with, will he bring home an STD . You're in your late 30's--give the guy a break and move on, find that exciting guy and let him find a dependable girl.
2006-12-13 21:19:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
I suggest you be open to him about this. Though strangers like me can help, it wont be enough. Who knows, he might be like that just because he doesnt want to offend you or something.
If you want him to change just a little to spice you up, why dont you show him. I was raised by a boring dad, who tells the same stories again and again, but I am proud of him.
Why dont you invite him to do something you want him to learn like tennis perhaps, yahoo answers perhaps, and a lot of other stuff. You dont need to change him, he has to make that decision, once he sees that there is more to life and that sometimes being exciting is not a bad thing.
Give him a chance, dont say yes to the proposal just yet. But give him one more year or even half a year just to show you a little bit of hope that when you are married, he can grow into somebody you would get your hands off.
I hope this helps. :(
2006-12-13 21:16:54 · answer #8 · answered by GorbanZus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. He does not know how to keep your affections and attention. You think well of him but you do not love him. The one way your marriage will go is divorce. There is no good enough reason why you should marry him. Just because he loves you does not mean you should feel the guilty need to force yourself to pay your own love in compensation. You need somebody who is emotionally and mentally well-suited for you, not a simple man who has a schoolboy crush on you.
And I must apologize for the vulgar answers you got from some of the other users. They do not know you and they have no right to talk to you that way. Just snub them.
2006-12-13 21:04:03 · answer #9 · answered by blestcurstverstquest 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to marry him just because you hear you clock ticking, run !! If you have nothing in common, it will be a very boring marriage, unless you are will to work hard to become interested in his likes, and get him interested in some of your likes, you will be setting on the couch watcing TV night after night and not speaking for the rest of your life.. He sounds great in every other way, but get it spiced up before you marry him !!! Help him learn to kick up his heals some, or you are going to be board stiff for a long time.. I don't believe in divorce.. it hurts the kids to much.. so you should stay together for the kids, unless there is abuse. so you have got to get some interests going and get some fun in your life, or find some one else.. good luck
2006-12-13 21:09:41 · answer #10 · answered by nannyj37 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think of it this way: finding someone who cares about you GENUINELY is like a once-in-a-lifetime deal!!! He seems like he really loves you.
However, if you aren't in love with him, then don't do it. It wouldn't be fair to him.
But just make a pro/con list. It is DARN hard to find a reliable, loyal, great, loving, caring man. Don't take him for granted if you believe this to be true.
But make sure you do it because you LOVE him, not because it feels more like an 'obligation.'
Let us know what happens!
2006-12-14 00:50:25 · answer #11 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋