mother in law?

Question

my mother in law has not been a good one. I have been married 7 yrs and I can honestly say tat she has not welcomed me once. She doesn't call, visit, or even spend time w/ our kids. I always let my husband know but he has not asked her why. She is not old and get around well. She is a young granny. She does however spend time with my hubby's brothers kids all the time.They spend the night, get money, gifts, calls, and visits, Now my kids ask why does granny treat us mean? Im tied of coming up w/ amswers I think its time to confront her but my ubby won't let me. I understand its his mom but he also has to understand our kids suffer too. what do you think?

Answer 1

in this dairty world what ever you look for you miss it or it runs away like shadow just kick this idea out of your mind ...
if you depened on her for example economically it is some thing else
with this idea just you shorten your life take it easy soon or late you see the conclusion
then she search for you refer to russain poem baby and his shadow
i hope you take my advise

Answer 2

Been there, done that. I also had the mother in law from HELL!. Same problem where hubby was so afraid of ruffling her evil feathers (he called it respecting her) that we had several confrontations until one day she literally pushed out of her house when we were visiting (my husband said he never saw what happened because he was watching TV, yeah right.). All her grown kids were there and not one cam to my denfense. I never went back to her place ever again and even told my husband that if she came over to visit I would conveniently be out!! When I finally divorced him..she tried to call me for advice and I told her he was her son and she had wanted him so bad now she was stuck with him and all his problems that she helped nurture over the years..."Tap,Tap, No Take Back!" You can't really change those types of people ,you can only change yourself and how you react to them. Don't let her control you or your kids by giving any impotance to her behavior. Brush it off and reassure your kids, it's her loss (and your hubby's) because they are wonderful kids. I think part of the problem, as this was also my experience, is that she is subconsciously jealous of you. by acting the way she does , she think she is putting you down but in actuality she is raising you above her just by the fact she has to make the effort to act the way she does. Part of the problem is also his family. While you can't make your in laws go to therapy , you can ask your husband to go with you to a family counselor. If he refuses to join you in counseling then go by yourself. You need some affirmation of your feelings about this woman. You can also get some more definative ideas and advice on how to deal with problem. Good luck!

Answer 3

Since your hubby has no backbone, you might as well get it over with and confront the woman and tell her she is hurting your kids with her behavior. It's not fair and I know women in your situation. They have talked, tried being nice, etc to no avail. Then if she keeps giving you the cold shoulder,don't bother with her. You'll have to explain to the kids that Granny is sick (in the head) and she may need help and doesn't know what she is doing. And as for hubby, you need to tell him about his self too. His wife and children should come before his nasty old mother.

Answer 4

Your husband needs to get his priorities straight. Whatever the reason is that he is afraid of his mother, it needs to be put aside because his kids come first. This is just so unfair and I don't understand why a grandmother would do this to her own grandkids. Have the kids noticed this on their own or have you brought it to their attention? They must be really young. Try not to talk about it in front of them . I agree thought, it is way past time for your husband to talk to his mother about this. Good luck.

Answer 5

i think she's mean. don't make excuses to your children for her. when they ask why they didn't get a gift, etc...first ask them if they sent a thank you note for the last one she gave them. you might be surprised at the answer. i hope that you have taught them to say thank you when they receive a gift. if she doesn't call or visit or spend time with you or your kids, it could be because she doesn't feel welcome. you should probably talk to her just so you know for sure how she feels about you. if after talking to her, this "playing favorites" continues, you've got a problem. don't expect your husband to be the one to deal with this issue. it's between you and her really, and he won't want to get involved and i advise you not to get in a tug of war with her.

Answer 6

I wouldn't assume that she doesn't like you. Give her the benefit of the doubt and lets just say that maybe she has the wrong opinion of you and thinks that you don't like her. I would be the better person and try inviting her over for dinner one night and see if she would come and if she does then maybe the relationship would get better from there. If she doesn't show up, then I would confront her nicely and ask her why she doesn't come over and see what she has to say.

Answer 7

I agree with you. Even if she has issues with you and/or your husband...she should not take it out on the kids. Tell your husband to either grow a back bone and put HIS OWN FAMILY first by confronting his mother...or you will. Then do it! It's not fair to treat children this way

Answer 8

Kill her with kindness by inviting her over. Explain to her how the children feel and you think it would be nice for her to spend time with them Don't complain about it or even confront her since this will cause more tension, and you don't need that drama. Good Luck!

Answer 9

I think if anyone treated my kids like this, they would not be considered part of my family, period!
She would not get phone calls from me, she would not get gift or the acknowledgment she was a live.
This lady is old enough to realize what she is doing, and no one treats my kids this way. This is just me though....
Very hard dissection, wish you the best!

Answer 10

what is your name?

Answer 11

It's too bad your husband is sitting back and letting his kids get hurt by this!!!! He is supposed to be setting an example for his kids, does he realize this?? His mother should be ashamed of herself for being so selfish to one set of grand kids!! If my mother in law did this to my kids, but not to my brothers, she would not be seeing my kids, because they don't deserve the hurt! When she wondered why, I would really be speaking up than!!!