My brother whom is 17 years old, I've had legal guardianship since he was 10. He has been out of control for the past four years, he got kicked out of two high schools and GED classes for basically not doing any work, walking around, going to other classrooms to chat with friends. He's becoming a father, doesn't work and is disrespectful. Recently I sent him back to his mother for awhile and last night I found out he was picked up in the state next to ours for some unknown narcotic reason while riding along with his step-uncle and friend. My mother expects me to go pick him up tomorrow from court. The court said if one of us (her or I) doesn't show up tomorrow then they will keep him in there until he's 18, which is a month away.
Before anyone ask, my mother is a drug head and alcoholic and my father has a mental disease so that is why I took him when he was younger. No, my parents aren't together and I do not have a good relationship with my mother.
2006-12-13 18:41:11 · 13 answers · asked by LC 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My mother does not have transportation to the juvenile center that is why she wants me to take her or loan her my car.
2006-12-13 18:42:33 · update #1
He's been to boot camp, twice. I use to make him go to church, I put him through catholism classes for years but he still has fallen in the wrong path.
2006-12-13 18:53:34 · update #2
i think it'd be better if you leave him there... a month may seem like a long time, but it's a chance for him to look at his life and see that he's not making the most out of it... just make sure that you try to straighten things out afterwards, with the whole family, that is...
2006-12-13 18:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by get.real 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an absolute horror for you, but in a month you have no more reason to be concerned. When he reaches adult age he is on his own. Blood is thicker than water and it would appear to be as if you are abandoning him---but you obviously did as well as you could with little success. He is old enough to be a father, he is old enough to take responsibility. Personally I would get him one more time and let him know that it is the last time---in a month he is on his own. It might be that too many people have given him a chance and he turned it all around and felt as if he could just call for someone if he got in a jam---basically I am saying that those actions are called enabling. It is a shame when a person has so much trouble in their lives...but in a month it should be all on him. You need to find a way to get on with your life and start to enjoy yourself as best as you can. My guess is he will manipulate you by saying you don't care, or beg for help like a helpless kid---don't fall for it , tough love is saying no. Next time think about the lessons everyone learned from all this. Maybe you bit off more than you can chew. I really wish you the best of luck and merry xmas.
2006-12-14 02:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be better to leave him in juvie. It may sound like you are abandoning him to others, but he's not abiding by the rules of society, and a month now will be infinitely better than a jail term for a worse offence later.
2006-12-14 07:01:10 · answer #3 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A month in Juvenile will change his life.
Beyond that, picking him up will teach him a very NEGATIVE lesson - that he can get away with whatever he wants, as someone else will fix his problems for him.
Leave him there, but go and explain to him why you're doing it.
2006-12-14 02:44:26 · answer #4 · answered by contagisblondnes27 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT bail him out. At least you know he'll be safe for a month.
He's definitely out of control and for his own protection, does NOT belong on the streets. I would like to hope that he will come to his senses. But that's probably not gonna happen. He definitely needs professional help to turn his life around.
2006-12-14 02:51:50 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
only if he goes into a drug program, make him a deal. Let him know you are at the end of your patience. Don't turn your back on him though, he's had enough people do that. God Bless and take him to church with you
2006-12-14 02:47:59 · answer #6 · answered by bridgette c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should keep him in there..teach him a lesson..if you bail him out now then he will think that everytime he does something wrong that you will be there to bail him out. he is old enough to know what is right and what is wrong.what he really needs is boot camp..let them straighten him out.your a very strong person to take on a BIG responsibility..let him know that you love him but he needs "tough love" and that you will see him when he gets out. if he messes up in there they might keep him longer..good luck
2006-12-14 02:51:06 · answer #7 · answered by becca j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my family and I can tell you unequivocally to leave him in there! My bro did not straighten out until he was in his 40's, his brain was severely damaged (compared to what it was) from drugs and he realized he would most likely die in the next 5 years if he did not make a change.
He said, and I kid you not "I wish mom had let me serve my time instead of always bailing me out, it might have been the reality slap I needed to get myself straight!" so please, if you love your bro, and yourself, leave him to serve his time.
Good luck, HTH and doGbless
2006-12-14 02:44:57 · answer #8 · answered by Star 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is to old to be bailed out. Let him marinate in there so he will think about what he did before he does it next time.
2006-12-14 03:30:18 · answer #9 · answered by CRUNKMAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DONT loan her the CAR. I think he would be better there 4 now. BUT WHAT will u do when he gets out?
2006-12-14 02:51:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋