We have a situation where our extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) don't communicate often, with each other. It's a dysfunction in the family since our grandparents passed away (their kids were affected and therefore, when they had kids of their own, it was passed down). I'm a part of the younger generation, and I remember when I was little, my grandparents always had Christmas and Easter dinners, together, with everyone. Now that they're both gone, NO one has taken that initiative to bring the family together, again, for our annual dinners. I've tried to contact family and ask them about getting together, and they seem to have an excuse for not participating. I have kids of my own, and I want them to get to know the rest of the family, but it's difficult when no one really makes an effort in getting to know us!!
Someone in our family always has a grudge on someone else in the family! It's sad...what can I do?
2006-12-13 18:37:54 · 10 answers · asked by argamedius 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Rather than a full blown family affair.......Start with a few who you feel may participate, who do not have a grudge against others. Then go from there adding a few more each time. Is there any particular part of the year that the chances are better to get together. (summer vs winter?)
Before you know it, the word may get out that it was fun and enjoyable. Who knows others may begin calling YOU. What do ya have to loose? Give it a shot. Surely you can pick a few 'favorite' relatives to start off with. :)
2006-12-13 19:04:51 · answer #1 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have this same problem. After my grandparents died, both sides of my family pretty much split, so we don't have any get togethers like at Grandma's house anymore. This has been going on for a little over 15 years now, so my children know some of my extended family, but not a lot. Your relatives have to be willing to get together for a holiday-you can't force them to be happy together. Give it time, and in the meanwhile, I would have your children get to know your relatives one by one throughout the year.
2006-12-14 00:31:45 · answer #2 · answered by Angie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are those like us who want to keep the family and our memories for ever. There are also family members who do not feel the same. Conflict of interest are the words to describe the situation. Some are not able to learn to know the adult persons in their families. They look at siblings as they did when they were young. Some have been able to live comfortable lives while another sibling is having hard times and are poor. My family seems to be this way. They do not know me. I am disabled and am cut down for that/ in a way, I am shunned. However, I understand that I am not a part of their family. I will always be here if any of them want to get to know me. We just have to pray and go on with our lives.
2006-12-13 18:49:14 · answer #3 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel and I think this is a common situation in a lot of families nowadays. People just have different priorities and interests. I tried to keep in touch with my family members but now that I am married and have children of my own, I think we are perfectly fine together on our own and better off without them. Because our new family is close and happy so we could care less about meeting with them -lets face it, who wants to get together with a bunch of people who are being fake and polite out of obligation.
2006-12-13 19:06:52 · answer #4 · answered by Mom_of_two 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually folks blame persons for not protecting them and that can be for lifestyles. Within the home all is secure and safe and warm. Once that has been violated nothing is the equal ever once more. It is difficult to convince anybody who has been subjected to any such factor to fall into the error of pondering they are nontoxic once more. For many that's the handiest recourse they ought to regain misplaced ground in the thinking enviornment. And probably it is everlasting. The great method is to simply maintain showing and sharing the love you've at all times had and learn to are living with the brand new truth as excellent that you can.
2016-08-10 01:22:55 · answer #5 · answered by rosebeckjr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stop trying--enjoy your own family and have your own celebrations!! Trust me (my family puts the Fun in dysFunctional)--not worth the trouble or the pain. A lot of holidays happened when I was little,and they were great-that's over, done with--new traditions. I send them all cards --that's it.
2006-12-13 19:09:10 · answer #6 · answered by fallingstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all contact the relatives who are at the same age as you. If they are cooperative let each one of the to persuade the older generation to get together.
2006-12-13 18:43:41 · answer #7 · answered by maran 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, that's pretty difficult, huh... well, you can always start from the bottom generation up or vice versa... you could ask relatives from your generation if they'd let their kids meet and play with your kids... or you could ask if you and your generation could meet up someplace... then, if it goes well, then maybe you could move to inviting a larger part of the family together, until eventually, the whole family... that'd be easier, right?
2006-12-13 18:47:06 · answer #8 · answered by get.real 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u can communicate to ur kids the delights of having a big family gathering so that they r eager to get aquainted with the rest of the family.....believe me the response of the kids towards others holds a lot of importance.....show ur kids pics of gud times with family together and a lecture on bonds of trust.....then b an uninvited guest to one of ur relatives with kids and when the kids get aquainted.....there is no stopping them then!!!!
2006-12-13 18:58:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try contract them again!!!!!!or go to their house to eat!
2006-12-13 18:41:06 · answer #10 · answered by cutiegirlask 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋