What is the rewarding part of having kids/babies?

Question

I got married and never felt like having kids but people around start to ask questions esp. my mom and mother in law. I know I will get more inquiries but I just don't see the bonus part of having kids. I just see all the minuses of them bring to my life like big financial burden, change of life style, adjustment to my career and so on. Please Mothers here help!

I do enjoy my current life but I just don't want to grow old and regret....I wanna make a good and right decision.

Answer 1

I think you're smart to consider how you feel and not just give in to having children because your relatives question you about it! You may decide sometime in the future that you want to have children, but if you don't, that's also a fine decision. Not everyone wants to be a parent, and for some of the reasons that you have listed! :)

I have one son and he is enough for me. I wanted to be a mom and now I am! I don't have a burning desire to populate the earth; I just wanted to parent a child. I have been in love a few times but never like the love I feel for this little boy. He tells me he loves me, he covers me with a blanket when I fall asleep watching TV on the couch, and he even makes me cheese sandwiches on weekends! He's also a total pain in the neck sometimes, but so are all kids, I'm sure! He makes me smile just by leaning forward from his car seat and touching me on the arm.

Raising kids is a lot of work. It's stressful, financially difficult, and they completely change your life! Only you can decide if that change will be for the better.

Aloha!

Answer 2

Honestly, its up to you whether or not you have kids. Don't do it because someone else is asking you why you haven't yet.

I currently am 39 Weeks and am really looking forward to meeting the little guy. I've always wanted kids and look at it as being a really rewarding experience.

You get the chance to bring new life into the world, care for them, love them, nuture them.

It's easy to tell you all these things though - but it sounds like you are already pretty set on not having kids. Just remember once you are over 35 the chance of defects etc are alot higher - and would you be willing to terminate the pregnancy if it turned out the child was going to have a disability?

If at this stage you don't see the bonus of having kids and need other people to tell you what is - don't have them. simple as that.

Answer 3

I would encourage you to wait. You will know when you are ready to have children. No offense but sounds like you are to into your career and well to into you. Maybe your husband feels the same as you do right now. If so that's real good. Then you both have an understanding. If you start to want a child and still are not sure most people get animals to feel the void. Until they are really ready. Pets require good owners. Just like children need good loving parents. Your a smart person you have a career going for you. I will say that I have been in mortgage banking 15+ years. I have two children and one on the way. It is true that I have given up some jobs to be with my family. I am not putting you down, I just think your right to think about what you want first...... family or career.

Answer 4

There are a lot of good things on being a mother. One thing that is the most special is seeing my child smile. I mean one of those heart warming smiles. Seeing her learn her ABC's and actually read something was so awesome. I felt like such a good parent and that all the hard work I'd put in had paid off. Now on the other hand .. I'm scared to think of what its gonna be like when she turns 15! EEK!

Otherwise, take your time. Children aren't for everyone. Some women just prefer to not have any. I only have one and I'm sure that I will not have anymore. No specific reason, just preference. Don't let anyone talk you into having a child either. A baby isn't like a pet, you can't just give it away when you're growing weary of him/her.

A huge adjustment is in need when considering children, down to the smallest detail.

Whatever you decide, good luck in it. You sound like a decent person for even thinking of something like this. Most (not all)women will just have babies to keep a man or fulfill some selfish prophecy.

Much love, luck, and happiness!

Answer 5

I am not a mother. I am a father. The benefit for you? I am not sure there are any. I mean the pride I felt when boy learned to ride his bike, yeah that was cool. Watching them grow up and knowing that I helped to added some positiveness to the overly negative world, not to bad that one. If you and your career are more important to you then maybe it is better to not have kids. Really why bring a kid into a household where they will be second to money, work, and freedom? Then the daycare will raise them anyway. I don't think most people have children so that they can benefit from them.

Answer 6

I had the same fears as you, but then I got pregnant by accident. Best. Accident. Ever. I was scared throughout the pregnancy, but it was the best thing ever. I honestly love it. To see your child smile for the first time, laugh for the first time, walk for the first time, etc is such an amazing thing. She learns so many news things and it's amazing to watch. Plus she is a part of me and my husband and our love. I know it sounds completely cheesy, but it's really how I feel. I never thought I could feel this way!

Oh and about the financial part: they don't actually have to cost alot of money to take care of. I breastfed and still do sometimes and that's free. Diapers aren't too expensive and clothes aren't either if you buy them on sale. Once they start solids you can easily make them yourself, even out of your dinner. And we co-slept and never used a crib, though at the beginning we bought a bassinet and it ended up being a waste of money because three nights after brought our daughter home she ended sleeping in bed with us - but if you'd be uncomfortable with that you can go for a more expensive crib that converts into a twin bed. One of the more expensive items you'd need is a breast pump if you breastfed so if you needed to leave her with someone you could give them milk.. I think that is about the most expensive thing I ever bought.

Answer 7

All anyone has said here is the warm fuzzy stuff. They look at you and smile, big woo. What if your child is born with birth defects. Any number of health problems can arise. Kids do cost money, it just depends on how much you want and are able to spend. From the moment they are born, there is a constant worry inside you like you have never experienced, it will always be with you. Who said you will out live your kids? Just because you do all you can do for them, who says they won't get into trouble, jail, whatever. Teen pregnancy. Your life as you know it will be over. You do what's in your heart. I have one son, and I am blessed that God gave him to me, but it ain't been easy.

Answer 8

Well I am a father. But dont belive everything you here. They are not that much of a financial burden. The joy of wathcing your children grow and learn and develop is awesome. Yeah they can be a pain in the rear sometimes but I am a father of 3 and I am 25. I do not have alot of money but I swear on my life I couldn't trade one of my children for an endless amount of money. I would chose any of my kids over anything in the natural world.

Answer 9

i am not a mother, but i can tell you this. the rewards you receive from being a parent are far greater than any king or queen could ever hope to bestow upon you. the first time they look at you with their curious little eyes. the first time they smile at you. their first giggle. the first time they reach up for you to pick them up. and yes.. there are many changes that take place in your life. instead of having that romantic dinner with your significant other, you hope you have a chance somewhere in the day to stuff a few french fries into your mouth between day care, the pediatrician, the pharmacy, and the frozen dinner aisle of the local grocery store. But when you look up in the rear view mirror, hoping that the idiot in the oversized SUV behind you doesn't crush your minivan like a soda can, and you see a tiny hand raise up out of the car seat and wave, it makes it all better.

Answer 10

kids are blessing as well as u when u were back then... if u'll gonna open your mind and heart abt having one u'll enjoy the benifit of having one. kids are the joy of our life, they too are the reason why you keep your life going. (u wer once to ur parents). as u have said "I just don't see the bonus part of having kids. I just see all the minuses of them bring to my life like big financial burden, change of life style, adjustment to my career and so on". that so mean of u. u have to change that attitude before having your own kid. believe me, they are not burden or did ur mom tell u that u r one?