Its been a few years since my mother past away since then I've been dumped by two of my fiancee's and the fiance i have now all we do is fight. I'm afraid of loseing her and I think im pushing her away every day.
2006-12-13 17:45:36 · 6 answers · asked by eman 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
If you have health insurance, you can start by looking at the counselors that are covered on your insurance plan. Think about the criteria you want to find in a counselor and then call some of the people on the list to make appointments. You might have to meet with more than one person before you find someone that you feel you can work with, but it'll be worth it.
2006-12-13 18:11:12 · answer #1 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the problem is bigger than it seems...if you keep having the same problem with different people it probably is because you are upset. Do you have a regular physician? If so, contact them so that you can get set up with a counselor, this way you can learn to work through your problems with new methods that will be more productive. If you go in to a doctors office and simply say that you are depressed and they hand you a prescription...try a new doctor. A pill is not going to fix the challenges you face. If you have no insurance (medical) reach out to the local human resources office...ask them for referrals for counselors. It seems to me that you will need more than a grief counselor at this point.
I am sorry your mom has passed, I can't imagine my world without my mom. But I am sure that I will have to face it eventually. Just based on the fact that you are trying to reach out to better yourself and your life is a huge step and I urge you to follow through.
Good Luck and Best Wishes!!
2006-12-13 17:58:09 · answer #2 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important about counseling is the quality of it in meeting your needs. Bad counseling may be worse than none. This link has information on how to chose a good therapist (or counselor) and what to watch out for.http://www.metanoia.org/choose/index.html but the criteria can be use to find a good counselor as the same qualities are vital. You might want to try places that offer a sliding scale on payment. May the road rise up to meet you.
2006-12-13 19:07:43 · answer #3 · answered by Masquerade Midnight 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sympathise with you. I have also been in a depressed state. It was difficult and I often thought of suicide.
You can go to this website: www.almenconi.com
I'm a spiritual person so I think you'll expect some advices inclined to spirituality.
I got depressed before because I tried to live my life my way and I tried to control things. When things went out of control, I got mad and looked for someone or something to blame. And almost all the time, I blame myself for everything wrong. Now, I realized that the only way to really be in control
of my life is to let go of it hand hand it over to God.
"Life is only 10% of the circumstances and 90% of our attitude." --That's my motto.
Circumtances are only 10% of life. when that 10% goes awry, you still have 90%. You can choose to be negative and live in a miserable way OR you can choose to be positive and try to see the lessons life and God wants you to learn (It's difficult to be positive, I know. But it's also difficult to live miserably with your negative attitude and ruin your life directly or indirectly). Everything that happens to you has a purpose - they are not to ruin you but to make you stronger.
Your experiences are difficult to deal with. I love my mom so much and I would not want her to leave me and go to heaven. But if ever that happens, I know God has a plan and it will be for my good though at first it seems to be bad ("For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you." - Jeremiah 29:11). It's okay to mourn for a while but not for a lifetime. Mourn for quite sometime (that's understandable) but not for a looooooong time.
About your wife, have you ever heard of the "Five Love Languages?"
According to Dr. Gary Chapman's The Five Love Langages, every human being has a love language that will keep him/her feel loved. Failure to answer his/her love language means emptying his/her love tank. (What's a love tank? I'll answer later) when that happens, he/she will look for a person who could fill it.
The problem is that spouses probably may have a different love language. Example: You feel like buying your wife a bunch of flower to make her feel you love her yet, she doent seem to be happy at all! It's because you both might have different love languages. Your wife probably would want to have a private time with you - just you and her alone talking with each other about your day with your undivided attention.
These are the five love languages:
1. Words of affirmation
2.Acts of Service
3. Quality Time
4. Receiving Gifts
5. Physical Touch
In the example, the husband has the love language of "Receiving Gifts" bacause he thought that givingher wife flowers would make her happy. The wife, however, has the love language of "Quality Time" and would like to spend quality conversation with his husband. They spoke different languages that's why they didnt understand each other. The husband speaks Greek while the wife speaks Chinese. Misunderstanding happens.
The other details are explained in Dr. Chapman's book. That book helped me alot. I hope it would do the same to you.
God bless!
Oh, the love tank. hm.. when the love tank is full, the person feels loved. if you cant keep tyour wife's love tank full, she'll look for another guy who could answer her love language and fill her tank.
2006-12-13 18:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by sphinx_Godcares09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
focus on you. you may need to step back from a girl. cuz i'm dealing with me and it sucks at times. your mom's death may be messing you up understandably. try dealing with it first. write about how you are feeling. unless you deal with it you can not move on.
2006-12-14 04:35:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as soon as she knows you want her, she doesn't want you. don't act desperate, let her think you can take her or leave her.....regain control and stop being a wussy!!
no wonder you're depressed, be a freakin man, not a mouse! geez
2006-12-13 17:49:27 · answer #6 · answered by willcurrent 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋