i have a friend.. a bestfriend and i am in love with her and would die for her but she has a boyfriend and she loves him so she says.. she says shes had crushes on me before but ive had a crush on her ever since i met her.. what should i do?
2006-12-13 17:44:52 · 22 answers · asked by jake g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm sorry but you can't do anything. You can't make her dump her current boyfriend, that wouldn't work too well. If she had a crush on you then why is she with this other guy? Just be honest with her and if she does really feel the same way then she will come to you if not than you can do better.
2006-12-13 17:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by The_Game 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, when it comes to love, timing is everything. She had a crush on you, and you missed the cue. It happens to all of us.
When I was 18 this annoying, chubby 14 year old used to follow me around. ALL THE TIME. He did this for years--then he moved away. But we still kept in touch. He told me he had the world's biggest crush on me back in the day.
Now decades later--he is the most drop-dead gorgeous guy you ever saw. Like movie star material. And what is a 4 year age difference when you are past 40? But alas, he is married to a beautiful, and much younger wife.
So keep in mind that timing issue. Just be kind of available (but not too available--you don't want to look like a kicked puppy) and maybe her crush on you will re-appear again. But don't put your whole life on hold waiting.
2006-12-14 01:54:25 · answer #2 · answered by maamu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love her, and she's told you that she loves her boyfriend.....well, you have two options:
(1) Don't say anything until she's single. She says she loves her boyfriend, so keep it quiet until she's single again.
(2) Tell her or write her a letter about how you feel. You may be surprised to find out she feels the same. However, if she doesn't....then you've lost a best friend.
You should really think long and hard on this. I would personally wait till she was single to let her know. Good luck!
2006-12-14 01:48:25 · answer #3 · answered by Katy S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are her friend, you know her likes and dislikes. Use that to your advantage. If she says she wishes her boyfriend would get her flowers, do that for her, and so on. Let her know how you feel and that you are willing to do whatever to make this thing work (staying true to yourself is important also), and when you do decide to go ahead with telling her, make sure the time is right. Don't let think you are trying to break her and her current boyfriend up. Ultimately, you can't make anyone love you, what you can do is improve your odds. Like I said, appeal to her likes.
2006-12-14 01:52:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she had a crush on you before, she'll have one again. Don't tell her how you feel just yet. Continue to be her friend and whenever she breaks up with her boyfriend, take a chance and tell her. Nothing you can do at the moment though...sorry.
2006-12-14 01:48:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's like looking into a mirror. I was in your exact situation about a month ago, but then I went out with some friends (including her) and met a very nice girl, who I immediately started dating. We are still very close friends, and spend heaps of time together.
Now I have the best of both worlds.
2006-12-14 01:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by tgypoi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im kinda in the same situation but in your case she has a bf she loves and you really can't do anything about. My best guy friend only wants to be my friend and cares for me alot. All me and you can do is wait and be patient (yeah it sucks) but if it's meant to be it will happend. In the mean time try to distract yourself ( I know its hard) but you really need to go out and have fun. Also be happy you have a friend like her. Good Luck!
2006-12-14 01:56:39 · answer #7 · answered by ¤My Goodies¤ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should go to your very quiet place inside and realize what will become if you shall apply yourself to looking outward you can discover there are many fish in the sea. there is no be-all-end all relation to a woman other than that which you chose.
Perhaps your friendship has led you so to this delicate balance point where you see the world as fresh as it is vs how comfy it could be to regress should you focus your love to just this one.
You must know of yourself if you will be driven insane to try and not dwell upon her. Or if you shall suffer that insanity so long in hopes to scald yourself with the cold truth of the world. Siding with selfishness you should eventually. But to consider all involved and what would be thiers eventually vs who are you and what may the future bring through persuit and for the disappointments and damages to be done now, you must meditate yourself what it is worth. The limitless potential of the future or this?
I am not aware of your age but there is wisdom in playing it forward as there is wisdom in coming and staying clean with all you deal with. As also there is wisdom in holding your hand close.
My point is, no one is you. No one should make this decision for you but yourself. You should not put off what is of the very most personal nature to meditate on outward for the world to direct you of. For if you follow their words and fail you scapegoat your conscience and miss the lesson you beg for yourself to be taught. There is only the self and the world. Though you may love her, she is not of yourself. She is the world. That is what I see here.
my choice would be this:
Do not be afraid to strike out and tell all you feel. Do not be afraid to speak frankly and do not hesitate for one second that you shall find so many others in this world that you would be astonished to find you have the same capacity to love. Be good to yourself and be good to the world. If you have this capacity to love then you will find something out there to never be jealous of. Something that will consume you in your giving of self to it and you shall die happy and wise and sane and with love.
2006-12-14 02:19:31 · answer #8 · answered by jorluke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hardest thing you will have to accept in life is that you can't make people love you. The sooner you accept that, the kinder life will be.
Do you really want someone you made love you because you had to prove yourself..or someone who loves you, Period,
No one ever really takes this advice, for some reason, we have to exhaust ourselves first before we learn our lesson.
RELAX...Patience is Genius! Take your time;)
Merry Christmas!!
2006-12-14 01:50:26 · answer #9 · answered by Wori67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't push yourself on her, let her come to you on her own terms. And if she breaks up with her man, give her plenty of time to get over her "rebound" period. And don't change and be who you think she wants you to be, be yourself because in the end the truth always comes out.
2006-12-14 01:48:49 · answer #10 · answered by kodiak2777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋