should i confront her? it is the principal of the thing that bothers me on this
2006-12-13 17:30:44 · 20 answers · asked by jim h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
thatz rude..
tell her that u gave those thingz fromur heart not for her to sell and get money out of..
maybe she likez money more than u..
2006-12-13 17:32:38 · answer #1 · answered by ashu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... she didn't tell you and she's just secretly doing it? I wouldn't jump to the conclusion, or call it a confrontation really... if she's your fiancee, you should be able to talk to her... so do just that. TALK. Its not a confrontation, or an investigation or a time to grill her or get emotional. Just ask her "Hey, are you doing this?" And see what she says. But take a breath before you do because, who knows, maybe she loved those gifts but is selling them for a trip for the two of you, so don't jump to conclusions... just talk about it. And if she is selling them for extra cash because she hates the gifts, I wouldn't find that offensive by any sort of principal, maybe she didn't want to tell you she hated the item and would like to return it when you gifted it to her... but she doesn't want to keep this thing she'd never use/wear/etc. around... personally, if she's just selling it because she doesn't like it, I would tell her "ok, we're starting gift LISTS from now on, you tell me exactly what you want or you're getting a gift card." A boyfriend (ex now) bought me a bikini once. It was a hideous pattern, hideous cut, and hideous color and it was WAY TOO BIG. He couldn't find my size because he got it at a discount store so he got a medium. No idea what the f*ck he was thinking when he picked it. I never wore it and gave it to good will. I didn't tell him I hated it. Its hard to say, makes you sound ungrateful, so whats a girl to do? Get rid of it later... Point being I don't think thats a big deal... you guys just need to talk about it.... and please learn to communicate with eachother before you take those vows.
2006-12-14 01:44:21 · answer #2 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find this very odd indeed!
I can't imagine ever selling something my fiancee gave to me,
even if I didn't particularly like it that much.
And if I wasn't really happy with any gift he bought, then I'd have the decency by respecting him enough that I would tell him so.
IF' your girlfriend/fiancee IS selling some of her gifts on Ebay,
and you know it for sure, then I 'WOULD' confront her about it.
If she really is doing this I find it hard to believe she 'loves' or
'respects' you the way she should, and I don't really call that a
good signe in a 'supposedly' commited relationship.
You may want to reconsider your future with this woman!!
I'm not sure she can be trusted if she's doing what you say she is..
2006-12-14 01:49:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tricky situation here.
Since your not yet married to her, I'd say that the items are hers and so she can do as she pleases, since you gave them to ger.
Though you are getting married to her, so when you do, technically they would probably be semi in your own ownership again, so it wouldn't be right without your permission.
Though that hasn't happend yet. So the best I can suggest is to talk to her about it, and tell her how you feel about it.
Worst comes to worst....you could buy back the items and give them back to her out of spite. Though since she would be your wife (hopefully) That probably wouldn't be a smooth move. Instead you'd just buy them back for yourself if need be.
2006-12-14 01:48:23 · answer #4 · answered by zott820 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you give something as a gift you have no control over it. The recipient can sell it if they want.
If it's something truly sentimental, then tell her that it bothers you-- that's a relationship issue. But if it's just "stuff," then let her sell it if she wants. You may disagree with her about it but you have to pick your battles.
2006-12-14 02:02:28 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like she is the bang-them-and-leave-them type of chick.
She also seems a little short of money.
Selling ur lovers gifts seees to be way too desperate.
Why confront - just use her as she is using u. & dump her.
2006-12-14 01:51:43 · answer #6 · answered by jack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to confront her!! If this woman is going to be your wife and she is sneaking around selling gifts that you have given to her, what do you think she is going to do to you once you are married? I'd think twice about marrying this woman. My husband has given me things that I haven't liked, however I've returned them, not sold them behind his back.
2006-12-14 01:35:10 · answer #7 · answered by trabear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tricky! Usually I'd say NO...but I think it depends on what the gifts were. Besides, she might be selling them to get some extra money to get you something special!
2006-12-14 01:40:03 · answer #8 · answered by Jen :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My personal opinion (one that seems to be shared by other answerers) is that, no, it's NOT right. However, I really think you should talk to your girlfriend about this. Maybe there's something else going on that you need to know about. Good luck.
2006-12-14 01:40:10 · answer #9 · answered by Sahara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be upset... I'd confront her with it. Is she not happy with the presents you are getting her, or does she need the cash, or is she just doing it because.. ask and find out
2006-12-14 04:31:05 · answer #10 · answered by emtb9 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmmm, NO! that is disrespectful. you bought those things for her out of the kindness of your heart. if anything i understand what she is coming from regarding the gifts that she'd recieved from you b/c it happened to me the sameway from my husband, however, I think that she should reframe from selling them especially on e-bay. goodness that is just so wrong.
2006-12-14 01:40:09 · answer #11 · answered by renee b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋