ok well its about my boyfriend. We been together a yr this christmas. We used to be friends in highschool but only started dating in university. He's a sweet guy he treats me so well i love him n he loves me . but lately im starting to doubt my love for him , like i dont have as much fun wit him , he seems so settled n boring its always me initiating conversation n planning things to do and stuff . Im a type of girl who likes a guy who does stuff for his girl as well as treat her right. He'll do things for me if i ask like if i want something then he's there for me but i want more than just when i ask, i want him to be more fun . He was more fun when we first dated. He also very very sensitive, like last time i was so mad and upset that i was about to cry but like i didnt i was just fed up and when he saw me upset he actually cried !! he also whines alot now it turns me off we talked bout it recently. I feel like i cant leave him cuz we say we love each other .. i dunno help ??
2006-12-13 17:24:14 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Most likely you have already made up your mind. He didnt change, you just got tired of it, he has always been like he is now, but it seems like you are trying to figure out how to get out of the relationship with out sacrificing your friendship since you were friends first. Chances are when you try to break up with him, and you will, the crying will happen again, if his tears work on you, you're into him for at least another six months. Problem is very few guys have the aptitude for change and if you want him to change who he is you probably are in love with who you thought you could make him. He's probably a good guy and you might be an awesome chick, but some people don't go well together and thats ok. Try to explain it to him that way when the time comes and try to stay away from the "but I still want to be friends" part. If you can be friends after, you will be, but for a guy, hearing "I still wanna be friends" is like pouring salt in the wound.
2006-12-13 17:38:28 · answer #1 · answered by peardietz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys do that. He is comfortable with you, so he has stopped trying to "win" you. Sooner or later, most guys will stop trying, so ignore that point for now.
The thing that seems more important right now is that he whines alot. This is not good, but it also depends on your definition of whine. If he is not happy with his life, he needs to change things. If he is whining excessively, it could be an indication that he feels the same way you do, but may not even be able to admit it to himself. Several guys out there stay in relationships because thy are familiar, and they don't have to WORK at winning your affections. Congratulations! You have just been taken for granted.
You are in a trap already if you feel like you can't leave him. You will feel much worse when you are sitting across the table from him going through a divorce. Spend some time away from him (visit a relative for a week) and see if you feel better or worse.
2006-12-14 01:36:30 · answer #2 · answered by sandcatsle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like that you are in a "rut" which most relationships go through at some point. It also sounds like you may be staying in the relationship because it is comfortable and you don't want to hurt him by ending the relationship. I would just talk to him and say exactly what you said here....at least the part where you wish he would initiate your dates more or think of fun things to do. Be more spontaneous. A last resort could be dating other people for a while and see if you miss this relationship. You are at a crossroads I think and you may just need to think about it seriously. I would definately talk with him and see how receptive he is to some changes. Good luck with everything.
2006-12-14 01:28:59 · answer #3 · answered by Ginger P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi melissa, your this boyfriend of yours sounded just like me. I dated my current wife since 1995 and we got married 4 years back.
It started out hot when we were young and as we grow up, our habits changes. Now as a guy, we focus more on the things we can provide our love ones rather then the "fun".
A guy whining can mean a lot of things in reality. It really shows how protective it is when it comes to one thing or another. Love will grow deeper as time flies,
I never imagine I will marry my wife but its always a happying ending if the both of you can have a 'heart to heart' talk together. There is no need to be confuse as this is all part and parcel of life and most importantly.
It all depends on ......'YOU' not anyone else. Accept him for who he is, rather then trying to correct him. You can reply me should you need any quries as I have been through that myself personally.
2006-12-14 01:41:49 · answer #4 · answered by Ask Jeeves? No Ask Belbiz6! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you said you cant leave him bcs you say you love each other thats not a good reason to stay with him bcs your just leading him on. Seems like your just use to saying "I Love You" bcs its just a habit. Also if the sparks aren't there anymore then it's time to move on. Tell your bf how you feel. Maybe he might be up for more fun stuff and want to improve the relationship. But then again if you just don't feel him then you really need to tell him. Good Luck!
2006-12-14 01:34:13 · answer #5 · answered by ¤My Goodies¤ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you aren't ready to handle a normal relationship. You can't expect there to be lots of fun and/or drama all the time. Got news for you, relationships aren't about constant entertainment. There's a whole lot of mundane everyday life that happens when you're with someone a long time. The difference is, if you truly love them, even the boredom is comfortable because you're with the person you love.
You sound like it's supposed to be all about you. It sounds like you don't really love him, so let him go find someone who will.
2006-12-14 01:32:09 · answer #6 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your boyfriend and tell her that you noticed that he was changing recently. Don't be afraid to talk, he will understand. Also ask him if he has a problem. I think he has. If he told that he doesn't have, ask his male bestfriend because he might have told something that kinda boything or he have told to other and he doesn't want you to get involve. DO this before proceeding to the next....
Ask your BF if he was still happy in your relationship. Maybe he has another one, if he has, give him time to think and decide. And if he choose the other, set him free... its really painful, because you love him....
Remember: one at a time, do not skip anything on what i have said.
2006-12-14 01:40:32 · answer #7 · answered by Sai 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're maturing away from him. You're probably excited about your new college life, and should be. But life is taking a change, and perhaps you need to change with it.
Since you're no longer happy with him, and you're questioning your feelings for him.... then I'd say, it may be time to make some adjustments. But PLEASE let him down gently!
2006-12-14 01:34:31 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is beter to let each other be free and do whta ever u want maybe dont see him for a short time and after that u can decide if you love him or not.i hope you both have good relationship after this expriment with eachother.
2006-12-14 01:34:57 · answer #9 · answered by bigballs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving someone is not necessarily being in love with them...there is a difference. You and he can love each other as close friends...but if he annoys you this badly and you and he are this incompatible...it will lead to heartache later
2006-12-14 01:28:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋