he want us to have a baby first and get married after is it good thing!?

Answer 1

Wow this is a good question. I think in my opinion that its wrong what hes asking of you. If he really does care about you and love you he would get on his knee and ask for your hand in marriage first. Children will come later on, its like hes playing a game with you. If he gets you pregnant than he'll marry you? Think about it.

Answer 2

first of all having a baby is a much bigger step than getting married and unfortunately some people (men and women) use children to try and get the other parent to stick around if they feel the relationship may be on its way out.having a baby will not fix a relationship that is broken.
ur a parent for ever if u have a child and u owe that child the best u can give it. if u get married and it doesnt work out u can get divorced. make sure the person u choose to be the other parent to ur child is responsible and ready for the lifetime of commitment that comes with raising a child. If u r genuinely ready and have had a mature discussion with the other parent to be about the pros and cons of having a baby i would say u r ready to be married to them. think this thru long and hard before making any decisions because the decision u make will affect not only urself and ur partner but the child u are thinking of bringing into this world.

Answer 3

It's a dumb thing, and very immature. If he loved you , he would not want to put you in that position. Do you want your baby to be illegitimate? How do you know he will marry you and be a real father to this baby? Being pregnant and having a baby will just keep other guys away from you, which is probably what he really wants. He is either controlling or very insecure. You will be put in a very vulnerable position, under his thumb. Also, do you know what it cost to have a baby? Is he going to pay the hospital bill? If he has insurance, it won' cover you. Does he have thousands of dollars for this? A baby deserves a loving mother and father, who love and respect each other enough to make the commitment of marriage. It is the most precious thing on this earth, and should not be treated so frivolously.

Answer 4

My friend was sure she'd marry this guy so they got pregnant. He wound up going back to an ex. She gave the baby up for adoption and is emotionally screwed up over the whole thing. If a person can be committed enough to have a child with you, marriage should come first. Children are a bigger commitment than marriage. Someone you have a child with is a permanenet part of your life. You could marry someone, get a divorce, and if no children are involved, there can be a complete separation. With children this is never possible. Be very careful about your decision.

Answer 5

This is a case of where if I was your father or older brother I would be showing him my gun collection. (And if you live in England my sword collectiion.)
Remember the old saying Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
You have a baby and you are not married and he takes off then where will you be? No child support from him to help with the baby.
You out on the steet selling your body to feed your baby or you and the baby on welfare or assistance. Spending the rest of your life in poverty.

You need to think about those things Real long and hard. And don't listen to that crap from he that he loves you and would never do that. If he was just after something he would want for you and him to be married first.
He is definitely not a Marine and Gentleman. (Royal or U.S.).

Answer 6

Heck no! It makes no sense having a child is a bigger step because you two will always have to have a relationship. If you get married first and things don't work out then you can just get a divorce and never see each other again. Having a child first is not the most logical way to go.

Answer 7

Talk it out with him. Remember that living with a man is a good way to get him to NOT MARRY you. Men will marry you because they want to. You can't substitute one for the other. This is why the two should not be seen a one leading up to the other or one instead of the other.

Living together is for college students and young couples in their early twenties who know they won't be marrying and it is a good experience that way. It is not marriage or family. It is fine to live with your boyfriend in a cabin or rented room for a summer while working and then travelling across Europe or while at college for a few terms. It is not marriage.

Answer 8

While I have no objections to premarital sex, you might want to wait until AFTER marriage to start a family.

My question to him would be WHY he wants the child first? If you're both in a committed relationship, then marriage is just another step. If you're not in a committed relationship, then how do you expect to support the child and what does he expect his role to be?

I'm not saying that marriage is the be all and end all, just that marriage is a good way of providing support for the child if things go screwy. If you doubt his sincerity in all this, then take steps not to become pregnant.

Answer 9

NO!! Live with him for a while get to know each other, then decide what would be best for you and him. Should you get married first and make sure things will work out as a married couple? Or get pregnant, argue all the time because youve got hormones running through you like crazy and eveything he does pisses you off, then he get sick of your **** and leaves...can you tell ive been there? No its smart to get married first. but you have to decide whats best for you at the time

Answer 10

Not a good thing. Having a child before a commitment to each other is not a wise goal. You are fortunate to know his goals before a child has become involved and that you have time to break this off or at least slow it down before the relationship goes somewhere you don't want it to go.