I read my bible and pray; 1 Peter 2:19 "For God is pleased with you when, for the sake of your conscience, you patiently endure unfair treatment... and 3:1 "In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands, even those who refuse to accept the Good News". My husband gets mad and stays mad; he name calls, belittles me and uses insults. Things can be going along fine for a couple weeks & then it starts. I think he resents the responsibility of his life. My old response was to run and fix/change as much as possible (all I really did was get so busy he could do whatever he wanted.) I have been working on me and my walk with Christ for 5 years in this situation. I have had him, me and our marriage on multiple prayer lists for over a year.... What else can I do? How can I stop allowing the criticism to "stick"? I start believing that I am worthless.... God doesn't want that for me. I know He loves me. But it seems He also doesn't want me to leave... thoughts?
2006-12-13 15:13:24 · 7 answers · asked by Sweetserenity 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Been to marriage counseling...as long as we are fixing ME its all good; married 23 yrs no idea what a healthy relationship looks like... I am just beginning to see that God (might) love me. How do you wrestle with the above scriptures....it seems clear I have to stay; I am trying to obey God; Christian all my life but new to the bible and saved only 2 yrs.... I am losing myself. I can't make a simple decision cause I dont trust myself anymore...I certainly have made a mess of this... and yes.. my kids grew up with this... 2 days ago he called me a witch while daughter was in the room.... then when she wasn't looking he'd flip me off or whisp insults to get a reaction... this morning he woke up, wished me a good day and asked if I liked the xmas lights??? its the insanity of the jekyl--hyde thing that has me questioning myself. Until now, he has always convinced me that I am too sensitive or it wasn't as bad as all that...but I have been praying...and writing...and its not right.
2006-12-14 04:37:27 · update #1
Present an ultimatum. Say: "I want to stay with you, but I am no longer emotionally capable of putting up with your treatment of me. However, I am willing to give our marriage one more chance, if you will agree to marriage counselling". If he says no, then pack your bags.
2006-12-13 15:17:09 · answer #1 · answered by Mr Ed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am also married to an unbeliever, Honey, but I don't have the same difficult situation. My husband is a sweetheart and we share openly our opinions about our differences in beliefs. In your circumstances I would get some Godly counsel from my Pastor. Maybe he can talk to your husband, not to try to preach to him, but to try to make him understand that his treatment of you is not right, and is hurting you. Perhaps he may be willing to persuade him to undergo some marriage counselling, or individual counselling at least. His anger will eventually be the undoing of his marriage, and he needs to understand this. Do you have children? have they been exposed to their father's temper tantrums for the last five years? Something needs to be done soon! Call your pastor immediately, Honey!
I'll be praying for you.
God bless
xx
2006-12-13 15:27:08 · answer #2 · answered by lookn2cjc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for situation that you're in, but if I may make a suggestion, it may be time to try professional counciling, as a couple and as individuals. If you have faith, and it makes you feel better about things, that is great for you; however, this is a problem that you need to take an active hand in. Prayer alone will not fix these things (it may help you on an emotional/spiritual level).
2006-12-13 16:13:47 · answer #3 · answered by Bill K Atheist Goodfella 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did this for years dear, You need to get out now., before its
to late. My husband was just like yours. Don't let him belittle
you. This is the only control he has over you. And it makes
you feel like crap. Ask God for strength to help you. I did once.,
and I stood right up to my ex, which I had never done before.
I know it was God who gave me that strength.
God Bless you.
email me if I can help
2006-12-13 15:20:47 · answer #4 · answered by Kerilyn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I have a question about psalms or poems for a godson of mine, I wanted to know if you had any small psalms or poems to put next to a picture. If so, I have a question up about that could you answer for that? 10 points and my gift to my godson hangs in the balance...
2006-12-16 11:51:19 · answer #5 · answered by hey hows it goin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for Your pain,I can only imagine how difficult this must be.You have tryed to save your husband,it is not working.
Ask god for the courage and leave this man.
2006-12-13 15:32:35 · answer #6 · answered by gwhiz1052 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i had asked a question lastday and u had answered it ,the q was My long time unreciprocated love is gonna get married soon, so what wud be he gift i should give him?
well there was this guy ,who was my chat friend since 4 years, with whom i was hopelessly in love with, whom i was emotionally and physically attached...(only from my side ok).and coupla weeks before he told me he got bethrothed to his cousin, it was very hard for me to come to terms with the reality,until lately.and last day i was shopping and i wanted to buy a gift for their wedding, the coming march, and i was thinking on differen items ...watches,tablelamps,curios,a... a lil bit wierd idea of a nice pastrie with their names "to I**** & R*** with bestwishes" came on my mind, but i am not sure if tht wud be the best one to do.........am not quite sure wht shud my gift be.can anyone helpme with better (though not toooo dear ideas)suggestions as to wht the gift should be?
and ur answer was ...to leave them alone and stop stalking and never go to their wedding,
listen now, ur answer made me very angry tht i felt like boxing ur nose , but i tolerated u,coz i knew u werent aware of the situation
1st am not a stalker, i have my own life to look after and when i choose to have a guy i definitely would, tho am not dying to do tht right now, so i wonder wht on earth made u call me as tht for which i did do a report abuse for u.
2nd yea i have no intentions whtsoever to go to their wedding and the maximum was to buy a gift and send it to him via a third person,so y preach after all?
3rd as to ur asking me to leave them alone and let him live .....am not the one who shud let someone live, its God who chooses who should live and who shouldnt and tht too with whom.got tht maam?and yea i am not so desperate or so ugly as not to get a guy tht i would still want to stick to his life , and try my chance being second best to someone who isnt anybetter than me in anyway.so y accuse someone of trying to cling to someone elses life .huh. so bad...mayb u must be knowing him tht made u give such a biased answer,
now the point here is......i was itching to cuss u real bad, but i controlled myself, and thts something named"toleration",so this is how i would tolerate someone who makes me angry....now its time for u to show how angry u wud get and how far u wud bear it in others.
2006-12-16 04:13:16 · answer #7 · answered by ria j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋