How can I feign interest in a conversation?

Question

This is a social skill I would like to work on, please do not accuse me of being fake. Open-ended questions seem to be one way to feign interest, but I am not very good at asking those.

Answer 1

One skill that I learned was called "inquiry and advocacy." Although the skill is based in conflict resolution and mediation, the premise works for purely social situations as well, and has helped me to not only create the illusion of genuine interest (c'mon now, we all know it's a necessary business and social skill) but additionally, it has helped me gain some insight to people with whom I normally would never converse.

Inquiry works like this for social applications: When you talk with someone, find something (anything) that you can ask questions about. For example, when someone says, "I like dogs." Your job is to then guide the other person in giving you additional information (inquiry) that will allow you insight to their opinions (and likes, dislikes, etc.). All in all, this process in itself will create a sense of interest (whether you really give a hoot or not) in the other person, and your responses and subsequent questions will create confidence in the other person that you have helped foster.

The beautiful thing I found happened as a secondary benefit to practicing this? I learned to appreciate something about every person I talk to. Initially, we have reactions to people that lead us to believe that we like or dislike them as a whole. However, with the use of inquiry, we discover the beliefs, values, and subtle nuances below the surface of everyday communication that really makes life more interesting.

Imagine how wonderful other people will feel when they come away from a conversation with you really feeling like they were heard! It's a win win situation, and a very valuable skill to have in your social tool box.

Answer 2

Having been at the receiving end of such conversations, feigning interest is easily noticed & aggravating. Being authentic, that u're not interested in the current subject matter, is much more valued. Change topics...actively ask questions, like experiences, that would direct the conversation to where BOTH parties show a common REAL interest. This works even at an office party; who knew the boring accountant is an awesome tattoo artist or the mousey assistant is friends w ur fav celeb

Answer 3

First do NOT fake it because you will get CAUGHT.

I believe that you need to work on your LISTENING SKILLS. If you LISTEN intently you will gain knowledge in the process. Eye contact is essential, but not too much because you will get a direct question.

If it is BUSINESS do your homework. If it is social a simple nod or UMM at the right time will do the trick.

When I was YOUNG my grandmother used to drag me around to visit all of her friends, to give you a hint, one paid $16,000 A MONTH for RENT.

I once asked her, "When we are with your friends I feel DUMB because I can't get into the conversation".

She said, It is better to remain silent and let them think that you are un-educated rather than open your mouth at the wrong time and PROVE IT"!

Here is a good open qustion that you might use, "That is VERY INTERESTING, can you tell me how you came to that conclusion"?

When I was dealing with engineers on BIG PROGRAMS I used to say, "I am having a hard time following you, so could you take a minute to educate me"? They would then spill their GUTS because EVERYBODY loves to teach. That is why I am here.

Happy Holidays,
J

Answer 4

I find your question quite guine. There is a skill that can be developed called "active listening", it is used often in business, politics, and in raising children's self-esteem. As a person talks with you... catch a particular point and repeat what they said and make a comment to affirm you were listening. You will actually see the person respond in a positive way to you.

The toughest thing to do is to feign interest in a conversation that is seriously boring, monopolizes the conversation, or, worse, is negative or offensive. In such cases use as much honesty as you can without pushing the speaker to violence, to let them know you would like to change the topic or that you have to possibly continue the conversation at another time because you have a fast train to catch... then quickly "exit stage right".

Answer 5

Perhaps rather than feigning interest in the conversation, try developing genuine interest in the person you are speaking with. Even if they express something you cannot agree with or you do not find interesting, if you ask them why they feel that way, etc. you will learn more about them as a person. As a result you may grow to enjoy them--- or even if you don't at least you will learn a bit about human nature.

Answer 6

Perhaps you need to develop a bit of interest. If you interest is for arguements sake, your work, be interested in the working aspect of anothers interest. How much does it cost for the bait to go fishing? Are rods & reels expensive? If you are a computer freak...look up some sites and get some interesting knowledge to add to the conversation. Believe me they could be just as bored by what interest you, it won't hurt to try and you may learn something new.

Answer 7

Really listen to what someone is saying. Pick up on some bit of minutia that appeals to you and ask about that.

Keep going.

Answer 8

By just half-listening and ocassionally giving eye contact, say "nice!" or "sweet!" or even an "uh-huh" at all empty spaces . . .

Answer 9

try to look in the eye and nod.
nod on every sentences said.

that's it. look serious. don't laugh (well, if it's funny fine)

Answer 10

oh yes! fascinating! really? hahahahahahaha oh you're so right! oh tell me more! wow! you're kidding? tell me more! unbelievable! oh i'd like to do that too! hahahahahaha oh i'll have to do that! where did you get that? stunning! only that much? get out! wow i'll have to go there! really? i've always been fascinated by that!

you know that kind of thing