We've been together 8 years and living together for 6 of those years. We work together and love each other. How can I get him to propose?
2006-12-13 14:27:37 · 25 answers · asked by tamika j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Your in a tough situation. Never give an ultimatum and I recommend one final conversation explaining your needs. Never confrontational and try to keep the emotion You have to be ready to leave so if you are not then save this for when you are. If you are not ready to leave this situation I would get help to find out why. What is keeping you there? Sometimes it is the fear of the unknown. You may have also not communicated to him that in order for you to be with him he has to make the committment. Hinting around will not help the situation.
I would say if you are ready to leave...noone can decide but you.
Say to him. "HOney, I wanted to talk to you about something that is really bothering me. I am upset that we don't have a committment in what I see as marriage. I need to know that the man I am with honors me and believes in us. I can no longer stay in a relationship that doesn't lead towill not lead to marriage. I am ready to start over. Marriage is important to me and I need it to stay in a long term relationship. We should figure out what to do to move on from this apartment and such.
Calmly leave. Don't get into a huge discussion about why he should marry you and why life would be so much better for the both of you if he maried you. You can never convince him he has to come to that conclusion himself.
Good luck and best wishes. I know this is hard but if you don't face up to it now you will grow angrier over time and resentful.
2006-12-13 15:58:09 · answer #1 · answered by AnswerGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one sis, as you basically have a common law marriage and would be recognized as such by the courts. You could try to broach the topic with and tell him up front that you want to get married, but finding a way to get him to propose doesn't sound terribly realistic at this point in your relationship, if he hasn't done so already. Is there a specific reason you need a marriage contract? I have seen couples in the past who did this after having a long term common law relationship break up in the first year of their relationship, and it seemed to me that they got married because the relationship was actually falling apart, and got married to stave off the break-up that they feared was coming.....it doesn't work that way. I think that you should search deeply why you have this urge to "marry" after all this time, and try to figure out what it is you are missing that you think that will get better with a marriage contract.
2006-12-13 23:24:44 · answer #2 · answered by Crowfeather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What's the point of getting married if you're living together as a married couple? What are you going to do on your wedding night that you couldn't have been doing every night for the past 6 years? It's just a show at this point. Why bother?
2006-12-13 23:46:58 · answer #3 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be a bad idea to push him towards a proposal...if you both have talked about it and he doesn't seem interested, don't dwell on the subject as it might only push him further away from the goal. If you want to spend the rest of your life with him and he wants to do the same, the time will come...just be patient and enjoy your time together.
2006-12-14 14:18:00 · answer #4 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't and shouldn't force a person to propose, how would you know if they need it straight from the heart?
You should bring up the subject of getting married if you haven't already and see how he feels about it. Then go from there.
2006-12-14 03:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, it's precisely because you have been living with him that he is not asking you! You cannot "get" a guy to do anything, just as much as you would not like him to be able to have that power over you.
He is comfy as he is, and has probably no want or need to change things. You chose to do this, and have to live with it! Only thing to get you out of the rut is for you to move out on your own, be independent, start "dating" him and hopefully he will try to woo you!
In the situation you are in, you have taught him how to treat you, and for you to get out of that if you don't like it, you have to break away.
2006-12-14 07:54:11 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I beg you, do not get pregnant. Not only is that manipulative, but it is completely unfair to the child. If you try to force a person into mirrage, believe me it will backfire. I have a friend who got pregnant on purpose to try to trap her live in boyfriend into mirrage and it worked. However, the only one trapped in the end was her. Three kids later he cheated on her in while she was asleep in the same room. She had no job, hadn't worked in several years because she was so busy raising their kids. She stayed in the mirrage way longer than she wanted to because she felt trapped. She finally did leave him and she is now sharing a 2 bedroom apartment with her brother and her 3 kids. If that doesn't convince you not to "trap" him into mirrage, I don't know what will.
2006-12-13 23:52:44 · answer #7 · answered by Goddess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot force anyone to propose anymore than to make them to walk down the isle. You'll have to just wait and see. It's a huge step for many people.
2006-12-13 22:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by Foxtrot 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with others who have answered. Why do you need to get married to prove your love? It seems more like a tradition thing or people are afraid others will think something is wrong with them if they dont get married. We should all be like Angeline Jolie and Brad Pitt. Dont get married until everyone has the right to marry. But I guess i can talk...Im about to be married myself :|
2006-12-14 05:51:44 · answer #9 · answered by just_another_spaz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you "get" him to propose the situation will not end up like you want. If he felt any way like he "had" to propose then he will probably end up resenting you for this.
2006-12-13 23:45:56 · answer #10 · answered by sarabear318 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋