You know exchanging vows before a minister, with the bible and all?
We both don't believe in god.
2006-12-13 13:51:26 · 18 answers · asked by ? 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Rosbif
Many people that we love want us to. You know parents, family friends.
2006-12-13 13:56:40 · update #1
Salar
OK smarty panks. What do we do?! We've got 2 weeks. Do we "lie", become christians, or dis our folks?
2006-12-13 13:59:01 · update #2
Chicky
No UUC for me! Those people are going to be allowing orgies before long.
2006-12-13 14:01:01 · update #3
Hmmm, it does sound kind of inconsistent. One advantage would be if the minister gives you some pre-marital counselling. That can be invaluable.
I know a lot of people like to get married in a church just because of tradition. It's not for me to judge you. But while you are at it, it might be a good idea to rethink some of those old "traditions" to see if there might be something applicable for you after all.
2006-12-13 13:58:29 · answer #1 · answered by Mr Ed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, it's not so much a matter of being hypocritical, as removing some of the meaning from your wedding. It is supposed to be a day in which you promise to the person that you love that you will be with them forever; do you really want a part of those vows to be a lie? If you include something within them that neither of you believe, it seems to me that it will ruin the parts that you DO mean.
I understand the family pressure, as I have a religious family as well. If you and your fiance feel comfortable with your decision, then you should have whatever ceremony you want. If you don't, have a ceremony somewhere meaningful for the two of you--your favorite park, a museum you both love, etc. Find someone to marry you who is legally capable of doing so but who won't turn your wedding into a church service. Then, so your family feels tradition has been honored, have someone do a reading or a prayer during the service. It's supposed to be about you and your fiance getting married, and I personally wouldn't want it to feel like a charade.
2006-12-13 22:09:06 · answer #2 · answered by N 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not UUC but having been to many of their services, I notice that they are very moral people who may or not have a religious affiliation. I also see nothing in their statement of purpose that they would ever support orgies. Why are you getting married in a church if you don't believe in God or the Bible? What is the purpose? I would certainly want to start out a marriage with a ceremony that has some kind of personal meaning to me.
2006-12-13 22:23:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally got married on our front lawn by a friend of my mother (Justice of the Piece) but you could I suppose get married in a church to keep the piece. But only do it if you don't have to compromise your values by professing a believe in God that doesn't exist in your mind. Even though our wedding was not in a church my brother (also a JP) went through all the religious bologna about inviting Jesus into our marriage and all that. I just took that in the way that it was intended which was my brothers way of trying to assure that ours is a marriage that lasts. And so far for 13 years it has even though I don't invite Jesus into my marriage.
2006-12-13 22:24:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't do it... if I get married it would have to be an original ceremony written by me & my honey... maybe choose some appropriate quotes & readings on love & marriage, vows written to say exactly what we want to say, no mention of god. A friend of mine had found a book of marriage ceremonies from many different religions & cultures and they took the bits & pieces they liked to create their own unique & short ceremony that took about 15 minutes and moved right on to the dinner/reception. They had a friend ordained online to officiate and sign the marriage license.
2006-12-13 22:10:35 · answer #5 · answered by zmj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't matter. Me an my wife did. A church is nicer than the JP so we went that way. It was easier with the families too.
If you don't believe, what difference does it make? We did talk it over with the minister.
2006-12-13 21:56:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is just a legal document saying that you share the same last name. it can be done at the courthouse with no stupid inlaws or any frilly stuff. or it can be the wedding of the century with about 500 guests. so, my point is, marriage is up to you. if you want to get up in front of everyone and say, with the utmost confidence, that you love her, then go ahead and schedule a date and start looking for a caterer. but, if you just want to be married and no stress or worries, then head down to the courthouse. its all up to you buddie!
2006-12-13 21:57:35 · answer #7 · answered by thatweirdchick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The church building is simply a building. The "Church" consists of the members.
2006-12-13 23:23:38 · answer #8 · answered by BlueEyes25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, we got married in a Unitarian Universalist church, as belief in god is not required. I was a member there for years.
The bible might be a bit much -- why have it if you don't believe in it? Whom are you trying to please?
.
2006-12-13 21:54:48 · answer #9 · answered by Chickyn in a Handbasket 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why will you get marry in a church if both of you are atheists? You don't have to please anybody than yourselves.
My case is different because my fiance is catholic and I'm a neopagan, I have to do it.
2006-12-13 21:57:46 · answer #10 · answered by Jordan Two Delta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋