2006-12-13 13:34:22 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A customer sat down at a table in a very exclusive restaurant and tied a napkin around his neck. The restaurant owner was a bit taken aback at this because it was attracting unfavorable reactions from the other customers. So, he called a waiter and instructed him, "Try to make him understand, as tactfully as possible, that that's not done here." Said the thoughtful waiter to the customer: "Pardon me , sir. Shave or haircut sir?"
A guy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?" He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and (hold iron to ear) shhh! I accidentally answered the iron." The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?" He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"
My ex- wife came home yesterday and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is."
I asked her what it was, and she told me there was water in the carburetor. I thought for a moment, then said, "You know, I don't mean this offensively, but you don't know the carburetor from the accelerator."
"No, there's definitely water in the carburetor," she insisted.
"OK Honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?"
"In the lake !"
2006-12-13 17:21:40 · answer #1 · answered by Mary 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There were 3 friends stuck on an island, 1 a brunet," we rule!," 2 a darker, 3 a blond. The rub a lamp and get 3 wishes. The first 2 wish to go home leaving Blondie all alone. She looked around and said," I wish my Friends were her!"
2006-12-13 21:51:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fun Things to Do at a Drive-Thru
1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.
2006-12-13 21:38:04 · answer #3 · answered by zzbrockin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
did you hear about the guy who put iodine on his pay check he heard he got a cut in salary 2, do you know why they keep bandaids in the fridge for cold cuts 3 whathas 8 wheels and flies a garbage truck this should help him Gorbalizer
2006-12-13 21:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by gorbalizer 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?"
2006-12-13 21:37:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We know a mouse is a man because it has balls. But it is a female because it uses a pad
2006-12-13 22:27:12 · answer #6 · answered by yzyf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what;s the key to a good christmas dinner?
a tur key
2006-12-13 21:36:16 · answer #7 · answered by bekka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this one is good---> 'Come over here...take off your undies and get on top of me........lovingly yours.....
......TOILET'
but you need to have a pic of the toilet!
2006-12-13 22:04:21 · answer #8 · answered by -♦One-♦-Love♦- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 snowmen standing outside. One says "do you smell carrots?"
2006-12-13 21:36:25 · answer #9 · answered by unoulvme 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
2006-12-13 21:43:22 · answer #10 · answered by chocolate~bunny 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋