I am the guardian of a bad-tempered swan, who I require to attend a drinks party in Dorset, where it will be obliged to entertain some local dignitaries.
But it doesn't want to go, and I fear that forcing it will cause tension at the party.
2006-12-13 13:05:31 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Well, i would have to say you should coax the swan into a large vat of honey.
Once the swan is in the honey, it wont want to leave because it will be busy eating it. Furthermore, it would be physically unable to leave, since it would be stuck.
Transport the vat of honey containing the swan to the party, and let the guests marvel at your well mannered swan who loves honey.
2006-12-13 13:15:22 · answer #1 · answered by jessicarr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move the party to your place.
Or get a local Dorset stunt swan to double for yours.
Or get the Queen to come round, for she might frighten it (being the only person allowed to eat it.)
Or substitute the swan for something more manageable, like a frozen chicken. Most people don't realise they can be trained too!
2006-12-13 13:26:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the hosts of the party that the swan is bad tempered. Or just take it and let the fun begin! *imagines a swan attacking people*
2006-12-13 13:15:34 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Presumably the swan is already in Dorset? If he is normally resident in town, then I'd say you should resite your drinks do to reduce stress-levels as far as possible. Beyond that, may I suggest Ritalin? It works on my Year Fours.
2006-12-13 13:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by dorothy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry if it wont go there is a swannery in Abbotsbury, plenty of swans there, you could always let your swan know there is a chance of finding a mate and then it might not feel like such an ugly duckling.
2006-12-13 13:38:53 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take it to a local lake / riverside which has those Swan Pedalo's for hire and show it what happens to Swans that are naughty....
Ritalin, lol, I like your style, Dorothy
:o)
2006-12-13 13:35:52 · answer #6 · answered by Tsh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it an e - it will immediately fall in love with the dignitaries.
The manic dancing will be a problem, but you can tell them it's on a special exercise regime.
2006-12-13 13:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by mcfifi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every swan has it's weak spot. try negotiating (AKA bribing). if you want something out of nothing, no swan is going to fall for it.
2006-12-13 13:15:19 · answer #8 · answered by lsl4x 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try blackmail, take photos of it on the toilet and in the shower then threaten to put them on the net.
2006-12-13 13:10:40 · answer #9 · answered by sundancer332003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Erm.............................. Now I am very confused LOL
2006-12-13 13:09:12 · answer #10 · answered by Borat Sagidiyiv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋