i am 23 and have known this girl for 6 years. we are very close and talk almost daily. she usually always had a boyfriend, but always knew how i felt. currently she is single. the relationship i share with her now is what i am looking for in a girlfriend. but she said she just doesnt have those feelings. everyone i know are just waiting for us to hook up. her parents my parents our friends myself. but nothing ever changes. i know i should know better and get over it, but i cant. i went over seas for 2 years and still thought about her daily. is that all its ever gonna be for her is friendship? am i arrogant to think she will come around at some point? i get over it some times and move on, but it has always came back. the only way to move on completely is to break all ties with her. but i cant do that, we both need each other too much. she even said she wished she had the feelings but doesnt. is that a lie? i need advice. i have been stuck for 6 years. thanks
2006-12-13 13:02:12 · 13 answers · asked by Jim C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sit down and have one more serious talk with her. Maybe she's got feelings for you but would prefer not to ruin what seems like a great friendship.
2006-12-13 13:05:16 · answer #1 · answered by dolce 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These things are always tough. People always say to be friends first is best, but this tight is hard to change the relationship to something more. I've been in a case like this before except I'm the girl and my friend had a crush on me. we'd been buds since kindergarten. anyway, he knew what i liked in a guy, so he did everything to become the guy of my dreams, but couldn't. So i finally decided if he really likes me this much, then i should give it a try i suppose. I did. It crashed and burned. It was so weird and awkward. Now we haven't been anywhere near as tight since. So think about taking the leap before you look. Consider how she feels. Is it really just to weird for her? Can she be with you? Do you have the things she needs?
Sometimes things really are better to leave the way they are, no matter how much we want to mess with them. But if you really feel this strong about her, then don't give up hope. But don't waste your life waiting if she's never coming around. This is probably not what you wanted to hear, but some things are better to move on from. Sorry, but I hoped I helped.
2006-12-13 21:17:36 · answer #2 · answered by imd72330 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Six years is a pretty long period. She has made it clear that she wants to be just friends with you and doesnt share the feelings you have towards her. It would no doubt be hard to forget her, but think what would happen if you were to marry her. If she doesnt love you now, when she knows you very well, do you think she would change once you are married to her? You surely dont want her to live an unhappy life!
You can find other girls for company. They may not be of the same level as this one, but one cannot have everything one wishes for in this life. You are already 23, and it is high time you look for better pastures and get other g/fs. Who knows, you may find someone equally good, if not better, than this girl. Have a positive attitude and never compare other g/fs with this girl. Good luck in your efforts.
It is better to have loved and lost than not loved at all, they say!
2006-12-13 21:13:19 · answer #3 · answered by greenhorn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Work on the friendship and don't expect anything more. If you really like her, do things with her. Share your thoughts and feelings with her (not necessarily romantic ones though). If she doesn't have those feelings, don't try to make it happen because you will probably ruin a good friendship. You can't make somebody love you, but you can do your part to nurture a friendship and who knows, maybe she will come around - maybe she won't. If nothing has happened so far, chances are she won't "come around" though. Don't count on it happening, so date other women and keep her as a friend. Nothing wrong with a healthy friendship with a member of the opposite sex.
2006-12-13 21:23:41 · answer #4 · answered by Dean D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You guys have been together 6 years since you were 18. You probably know each other really well. Is she an honest person? If she is than take her word for it nothing is going to change. She can't make feelings appear that just aren't there.
Find someone who will love you through and through. One who excepts you as friend, lover, boyfriend, relationship material. Not someone who is going to be your friend another 6 years. I think by persisting you are making it hard on her and yourself...
2006-12-13 21:09:57 · answer #5 · answered by e_piphany214 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Evaluate your friendship with this girl. Did consider that in the event that something happens, you could forever damage your friendship? You can't just go back to being " friends" if you break up. Relationships are temporary, but friends are forever. Perhaps she feels that she'd rather have you as a best friend, than jeopardize your relationship now.
2006-12-13 21:08:01 · answer #6 · answered by liz76021 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this girl does not have feelings for you, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. You need to move on, or atleast try to. You will always get heartbroken atleast once in your life. If a relationship between you and her doesn't work out, be glad that you and her are still best friends. Isn't that enough?
2006-12-13 21:06:44 · answer #7 · answered by julia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not a lie. I am sure she really does wish she had those feelings for you because it sounds like you are firing on all cylanders except for the chemistry on her part. Unfortunately, she won't develop that-- it's either there or it's not, and after 6 years it's not going to change.
I think you have to break contact and get on with your life and find someone who adores you the same why you adore this girl. good luck!
2006-12-13 21:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For now just keep being her friend. Be someone she can trust and a person that she can lean on. She may not have the same feelings, but I think that being her friend is a lot better than just completely breaking ties with her.
2006-12-13 21:06:42 · answer #9 · answered by Marsha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what if there's one lesson i've learn to your story is that..PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE!you've done nothing wrong,all you just did was loving her..but maybe it's about time to get yourself find another person to love to..if she gets jealous then maybe she has feelings for you and if its not then it is really a sign that you get yourself a person who'll love you the way your loving your bestfriend!
2006-12-13 21:11:29 · answer #10 · answered by peeve_kat08 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋