My sister just ended a 9 year relationship with a guy who was not good for her, and I'm scared she's heading in the same direction. This guy was immature, not willing to commit (even after 9 years), and had zero responsibility (he was in his 30s). She finally ended it, which I was happy about because her personality has changed for the better. She's happy without him. However, she thinks she really likes this one guy who sounds EXACTLY like her ex. I'm scared she'll fall into the same trap. I've already told her my honest sisterly opinion about him, is there anything else I can do to keep her from getting hurt again? I can't stand to see her with another jerk. Her ex was not only awful to her, but he was awful to me. He lied to her a lot and hurt her, which hurt me. How can I help her from making the same mistake?
2006-12-13 12:24:55 · 10 answers · asked by two_kee_kees 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell her to spend a good amount of time with this guy before she commits to anything. She needs to know the guy very well. Many guys act all nice and such until a relationship starts. She can tell this guy she needs time since she just got out of a long relationship. If he is as good as she thinks then he will understand. Also if they plan to hang out and he begins to ignore her or ditch her then there's a problem already. He should be sweet and kind to not only her but you. It is indeed your sisters decision though. You've done what you can to help and if she decides to disagree with you then let it be. She'll learn on her own if anything.
2006-12-13 12:28:07 · answer #1 · answered by tia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, take a look around to see if there are some nice guys. You do not have to be obvious about it being "a setup." Have a number of mixed group outings. Invite the sisters of these guys along so it appears like everyone has a sibling along. The more nice guys she meets the more likely it is that she will like one of them. The trick is not to make her feel pressured.
2006-12-13 12:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by Alletery 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask your sister to be just a friend with that guy, don't go into any serious relationship. She has to understand him and know his behavior, and also she should find out, does the boy has girlfriend and how is their relationship. If they are going on steady, your sister should not interfere in that type of relationship.
If you cant talk to your sister than you should look for a good counselor.
2006-12-13 12:30:40 · answer #3 · answered by THILLAI a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find her a diff guy is all you can do. Any way thanx 4 answering my question about christ and the Bible. I really think it just contradicts itself. If Adam and Eve were the first people, then who did their sons marry?? City of sins? Then there would be other people on Earth besides them.
2006-12-13 12:46:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone will have to live with the ghost of her bf past. many women bring into the future the things from their past. Unfortunately it's usually the negative things. I find that in dating to. Every woman I date lately is a mess. Compliments of the previous man in her life.
2006-12-13 12:37:17 · answer #5 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to take her time when finding a new guy. let her know you will give her your opinion on guys she picks out, and you will help her find a guy who is right for her. just always be there for her no matter what!
2006-12-13 12:28:10 · answer #6 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to force your opinions on her because people tend to not listen when you do that. I would just have a heart to heart talk with her how you feel about this new guy. Tell her that you are her sister and you are only telling her this because you love her. Sometimes people have to make their own mistakes in life and you cannot stop her from dating this guy if she really wants to. However, maybe you can take her out and introduce her to new people that are more mature and responsible. After she has met a few other men she may have forgotten about the new guy and will be ready to date other people. Also, you might want to mention that she go to counseling because it sound like she may have some insecurity issues, which results in her dating men that do not have much to offer.
2006-12-13 12:31:45 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is going to keep finding the same kind of guy until she finds out why she keeps doing that.
There's nothing you can say or do to help her except be there for her to help pick up the pieces and suggest she get some counseling.
2006-12-13 12:28:25 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well its your job as a sister to try and make her take a detour from the wrong direction in to the right direction
p.s if this advice helps you send me a email about how great my advice was at mrfine09@yahoo.com
2006-12-13 12:27:53 · answer #9 · answered by mrfine09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find her a different guy
2006-12-13 12:27:02 · answer #10 · answered by shopgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋