What do I do when mom tells things I told her in confidence where we work?

Question

My mom and I work at the same place. We have talked about things that go on in each of our depts., she works in one and I work another. Today she tells me she told everything that I had told her and it got back to the main bosses. I told her I cannot afford to be brought in the middle of her gossip sessions because my husband's job isn't looking so well now. What we have always said about work has always been known to be kept in strict confidence. I feel as though she betrayed me to make herself look better in her dept. because she offered up details when her bosses got pulled into the office. My boss eventually ended up in the office and I'm sure I'll hear about it all when I go back in. She favors my sister and acts like I'm intruding if I come over and they are together. Then she wonders why my brother doesn't come over or call. I'm guessing its time for me to go the way of my brother and break ties with her too. Especially since she's made it known she only worries about my sister.

Answer 1

Just because she's "family" doesn't mean she is loving and caring, even if she's your mother. Anyone who would blab your confidences doesn't deserve your respect or friendship. Cut and run.

Answer 2

It always hurt when someone you love and trust breaks a confidence, doesn't it? I realize it's a difficult situation which must be resolved quickly and without too many hurt feelings.

You first need to speak to your mother about this personally. If you could please try not to be confrontational it would help keep her from getting defensive right away. You first need to tell her how much she means to you - explain you've always thought the two of working in the same place was pretty great and how much you've appreciated her keeping your confidences. By putting the onus on her it gives her the opportunity to think that what she did may not have been appropriate. Let her know exactly what this job means to you - especially now that your husband's future may be looking a little bleak.
Hopefully your mother will see herself as the person who wronged her daughter and put things right. You should give her the benefit of the doubt this time because she has kept your confidences in the past so they may have just been a poor judgement call.
Hope this works out for you.

Answer 3

What do do? STOP TALKING TO MOM AT WORK! As soon as possible get another job somewhere else, too perhaps. You point the finger of gossip at her, but you also have several fingers pointing back as YOU GOSSIPED TO HER - that is what got you into this mess in the first place. Maybe if you had been wise & kept YOUR mouth shut you wouldn't be asking this now? If you "can't afford to be brought in the middle of her gossip sessions", why did you put yourself there in the first place?

Answer 4

I'm so sorry this happened to you.
First off your more than likely just gonna have to stop
talking to your mom about private things.I know sometimes
i forget and get lost in the moment and tell my mom things i shouldn't too..But then i soon regret it!
Talk to your husband instead-or a girlfriend..Sorry the best thing i can tell ya is its just a lesson learned..
Sadly some people dont change.As far as work is concerened.If you think you can pull it off.Lie your a** off about the gossip!
I mean,i dunno what was said.So icant advise you on tht.But if your gonna be cornered and embarrassed i would not go any further and fess up.Its not anyones business and if you wanted everyone to know.You woud have told it yourself!Make her look bad and lie your a** off..Thats what i say!

Answer 5

Well one thing is for sure. You can't trust your mother. Find a new confidant because your mom doesn't appreciate the meaning of the word trust.

I guess you can chalk it up to a very valuable lesson. Put your trust in no one.
Your case proves this even more. If you can't trust your own mother, then who the h*ll can you trust?

I too said things to a co-worker in confidence, & found out the very next day that it was repeated directly to my boss word for word.

My heart goes out to you. Sorry!

Answer 6

i'm very sorry that you've been betrayed by someone you relied on. even if it replaced into in a non secular ability, he had no good to blurt out your secrets and techniques. I do imagine, even with the undeniable fact that, that you need to get each and every thing out contained in the open. Your blunders are contained in the previous yet persevering with to keep secrets and techniques ought to reason you to make blunders on your destiny. purely right to initiate off with a sparkling slate particularly than to have secrets and techniques overshadowing a contented destiny. best of luck! Edit: Oh, he sounds like a actual jackass. you need to continually threaten to sue him- per chance seek for suggestion from from a criminal specialist when you're keen to bypass that some distance?

Answer 7

Perhaps it is best that you do not discuss anything work related with her. If possible, try to find another job and salvage the relationship with your mother. She should not have done what she did, but she is your mother and she may one day realize that she has more than one child.

When all is said and done, you want to be able to say you did everything you could to maintain a relationship with your mother. What you really don't want is to be wishing at her funeral that you had closer to your mother.

Answer 8

Well, seems you already know what you have to do. Your mother sounds like a thoroughly untrustworthy blabbermouth, not to mention thoughtless and self-interested. But you knew how she was, so it is a puzzle to me that you went right trusting and confiding in her. Just clam up, and don't confide ANYTHING to her from now on. Whatever you tell her in private is likely to be all over town next week lol.

Answer 9

I have the same problem with my mother, it's sad to say but the best thing to do is to say nothing to her at all. Don't talk to her about anything regarding your personal life and your thoughts about other ppl, I know it's hard because she is your mother who you feel is pretty much the only person you should trust but once she does something like that just keep things to yourself. Good Luck.

Answer 10

Simply don't confide in her again. I love a number of my aunts very much. However, "gossip" is their middle name. I simply won't talk about certain topics or to get off a topic I won't complain. I will say "everything's okay". If you have common hobbies nurture those common interests only.