How old is TOO old to have kids?

Question

I'm almost 24 and my bf is almost 28. We plan on getting married but as of right now, neither of us really want kids. I might change my mind because I love him so much and sometimes the thought of NOT having kids with him makes me sad. I just know I don't want to have kids until we're well off and can provide them with the BEST life possible. I was thinking maybe when I'm 35 and he's 39, we should consider it. Is that too old? My mom was 30 when she had me, and it almost seemed like she had no energy to raise my sister and I. (She also suffered from depression too, so I'm guessing that could be why). Anyway... Is 35 and 39 too old to start having a family??

Answer 1

35 isn't too old, but consider the fact that children born to older women are more likely to have birth defects. At that age, it is also starts to get more difficult to conceive. I think 35/36 is doable...anything after (in my opinion) is kinda pushing it. However, there are lots of women in their late 30s and early 40s who choose motherhood at that time and many have had successful pregnancies and healthy babies.

Answer 2

I do not think there is anything wrong with waiting. I had my first at 25, my second at 28 and I'm now 32 and expecting my third. Guess which pregnancy has been the easiest? The third one. I feel terrific. I am 28 weeks and very mobile and haven't gained too much weight. I was never this active and energetic with the other two. Most days I don't even really feel pregnant except I get heartburn and the baby kicks like crazy. For some reason it has just been easier. Is it the age? I don't know. But I also think I've grown as a parent and I'm much more patient. I know myself so much better and I'm more relaxed with the kids. I think 30s are probably a better age to have kids because you are so much more aware of who you are. But that is just my opinion.

Answer 3

It is actually the average age of women starting their families these days. My mom works in the nursery at the hospital here and she said that mid-late 30's is very common. I will tell you that there are more risk involved when you are over 35. And, I got pregnant with no problem twice in my mid and late 20's. Now I am 32 and my husband and I have been trying to have a baby for about 8 months with no luck, so you may not be as fertile in your 30's as you are right now.

Answer 4

Absolutely not! You are more settled then and the selfish needs we have are on the back burner by then, you know each other by then and that usually makes you a better mom and dad.

My mother was 34 when I was born. My daughter probably won't have her last child till she's past 40, as she plans it.

Tony Randall (The Odd Couple, TV show) fathered his first child
in his seventies. He had been married for many years and his wife couldn't have kids. After she passed away he married a woman in her thirties or so and they had two together. He died a couple of years back, but left them well off financially and they were both old enough that they will remember their daddy, too.

Many women wait till near or eve past 40 to have their first. I think you are thinking clearly.

just remember plans go away and so does birth control so you should always realize it could happen sooner and not let that throw if it does. Just make it work.

Good luck!

Answer 5

It is your decision and what is best for you and your future husband.

But since you are asking MY opinion, I think over 30 is too old. Not to mention, pregnancies in the 30's and above are high risk, just as below 18 increases with risks as well. You have to think about your child as well when it comes to age and risk factors. For me, I've always thought that having kids late in life was selfish and unfair. A lot of my friends and family who have little one's are in their 30's and 40's. They have a hard time keeping up and those with older children say it is definetally harder now that they are older. But it comes down to you, it will be your family afterall.

Answer 6

I was 31 and 33 when mine were born. My neighbors were 35, 34, and 31 when they had theirs. My other neighbor was 40. I have another friend who at 42 is pregnant with her 3rd. I would not have a baby past 45, but I would not want a baby at 24!!! I wanted to be married a few years to establish my marriage, and then it took a little time to get prego. I think you may change your mind in time, but for now enjoy life, travel......go out, etc.

Good luck!

Answer 7

My parents were in their 30s when my sister and I were born and that worked out fine. I had a friend in high school whose dad was already over 60 while she was still in high school. If you think about it, there are lots of people out there who end up raising their grandkids for one reason or another, and most of them are older than that when they start. So I don't see why you couldn't raise kids starting from your mid to late 30s.

The only thing is that as you get older it's more difficult to conceive, and the actual pregancy takes a higher toll on your body. Not to mention the physical demands (particularly by way of sleep deprivation) of caring for an infant. So you might run into problems just because our bodies (especially for women) are physically meant to have kids from probably 15 or 16 until probably not even 30, and not so much past that. You'd be fine culturally and socially and whatever, but physically it might be tough. People definitely do it, you just have to be prepared for it not to be as easy as it would be if you were still in your 20s.

Answer 8

ahh. i would say that you should decide in a year or so.. just give it time.. wait until you get married, and then make your decision. are you both stable enough to raise children? if yes, then the next thing you have to do is to talk about it with him.. if you are not sure you can or want kids,, then DONT!! children are a big repsonsibility and if you dont think you can handle it because of your age.. then i would advise you not to do it.. but anyways.. i do not think that right now you are too old.. but give it only a few years to make ur decision.. i hope i helped!

Answer 9

I think 35 is at the end of the line. I understand you want a decent income and such for your kids and that's good. If you don't have the money now then you can wait. I feel that 20 is a good age; not too young and not too old. I'd love spending more years with my children if you get what I mean. We don't live too long and time spent with children is precious. Just realize the older you are, the better chance something may go wrong. Think of positives and negatives for the situation. You want a good income and everything, that's very important. But you do want enough time and energy for your children. Kids are crazy sometimes and they'll keep you on your feet! As people get older they get more lazy (want a good amount of relax time).

Answer 10

my auntie started at 39 and had one miscarriage and 3 health kids. But what if you consider it then and he decides 'no'... and you are to old to find someone to give you kids...

On the other hand, women who have gone through menopause sometimes decide for one other kid. Woman that are done menopause can go on hormone treatments and get invirto... You can have a baby anytime, it just costs more to conviece

Answer 11

I was 32 with my first child and 35 with my second, both were perfectly healthy and beautiful in every way. I have plenty of energy to raise my children.