I know I am not going to be the first mother to say this, But my son is really a good kid. He is 16, and this is when he choose to Rebel. It started about three weeks ago, He actually came up to me and admitted that he started smoking, and now he can't stop, and that it was seriously bothering him. So I just grounded him. As i did, he just did not care, which was okay, considering it was one of the first times I had ever had to ground him. But Now, he is just getting mad.
It hurts me to have to see him act in a way he needs to be corrected, but this is normal because I myself was exactly the same at his age. But me and my husband just do not know what to do anymore. I hate punishing him, but it seems to be needed right now. All help is appreciated.
:)
-Anna c.
2006-12-13 12:10:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
By the way, I am not punishing him for smoking, and we are getting him help. I am just trying to find a way to remove him from this faze that he is in.
2006-12-13 12:26:00 · update #1
Don't feel bad about punishing him. There is a reason it is done...the correction comes at the END of the punishment...it is PUNISHMENT... of COURSE he's gonna be mad? WHen was the last time you made a drastic change in your COMFORT ZONE! I have a teenage girl and I like you cannot stand to see my child anything other that happy and well behaved, but they crave and need discipline just as much as happiness and just all sunny days at this point or else they will fail in the world. He'll respect you and prosper when you remain in adult mode and let him just be a kid...do all you can to keep him healthy and that means cigarette free. Don't hate the punishment because you will love the result and in the end, he won't be the only one who has grown!
2006-12-13 12:52:11 · answer #1 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a teenager, the fact that he went up to you and told you that he is smoking probably means that he wants help stopping. Instead of punishing him more, try talking to him and finding out how to help him talk. Try not to make it too formal, just ask him if he wants you to help him stop and then work together to do so.
All teenagers like to rebel, so don't take it personally. Just, make sure that the punishment fits the crime and make sure to maintain your threats or he won't take them seriously.
2006-12-13 12:21:50 · answer #2 · answered by danielleybelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take him to the doctor to discuss ways to help him stop smoking. If he is truly addicted, he may be upset that all you are doing is grounding him. How is that going to help the addiction?
If you want to truly punish him, take things away from him like : No phone for 2 days. No computer for a week, no basketball practice or no friends over and you have to clean the garage, etc etc.
very effective I must say.
2006-12-13 12:14:57 · answer #3 · answered by TrixyLoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grounding won't help, trust me, I'm a teenager. You have to realize that we like our room so it's not much of a punishment. what you should do is just to bond with him somehow someway, he might hate it at first but in the end he'll appreciate it, just make sure you both do something that he wants no something you want. As for the smoking you can either get help or help him yourself somehow
2006-12-13 12:35:10 · answer #4 · answered by JK Sy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Church helps... try reading Dale Carnegie's '' how to win friends and influence people'' There are these ''golden rules'' in the book like, Give him a good reputation to live up to'' and, ''get them to think they thought of it'' and give them a challenge. remember that normal teenager do that. But never give up. My son is still weird at 23. I don't let him ruining his life ruin my life. But I suggest that if he doesn't want to listen to me then he can find answers at the library. The last thing I said to my son when he was living with me was that he should find his own apartment because it isn't nice for him to live here and hear me complain daily. It isn't fair to HIM
2006-12-13 12:21:22 · answer #5 · answered by Dhaircutta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Some of you people really need to listen to yourselves. You all need to stop talking because all your doing is making yourself sounds more stupid. I know her son and he doesn't want help. Smoking is just something he wants to do, leave him alone. I smoke, yeah it's a bad habit but so what. He'll grow out of it and if he doesn't oh well, he doesn't want your help so stop answering.
2006-12-13 12:39:33 · answer #6 · answered by Amanda M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when my parents punished me after they found out i did something they didnt like it upset me too. and the more they tried to punish me the more i would rebel against them. i guess its just a stage that all kids go through. when i turned 17 they changed their strategy with me and started to talk to me about what i did before punishment. kinda made me feel more comfortable talkin with them about things.
2006-12-13 12:45:05 · answer #7 · answered by Gracie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him to my Temple,....I have Lions in the Backyard, all he need is visible conformation of this and he will straighten up and fly right!
2006-12-13 12:17:56 · answer #8 · answered by The King 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have him smoke several packs in front of you! It will make him sick and hopefully he will not do it again!!!!
2006-12-13 12:16:14 · answer #9 · answered by nicsgirlus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋