How do you cope when your parents disapprove of who you are dating?

Question

That sounds terribly childish, I know. I told my mother that I was dating a guy she's not very fond of. She said she was disappointed in me and told me she can't stop me because I'm an adult now and can make my own mistakes now. I'm coming home for Christmas and I don't know how to deal with my parents not backing me up on this.

My boyfriend means the world to me, but my family has always been the most important thing in my life.

Answer 1

I think that all of you should sit down and talk about it. Like that something can be worked out. You sound like you really care what your parents think. But, there has to be a middle to everything.

Answer 2

Yes, it is hard when you love them both so much. The thing is, you ARE an adult and will make your own decisions. Your mother should be big enough to set aside her feelings and be decent to him for your sake. Too many times, mothers risk losing their children by not accepting their partners. I would talk to her about doing this for you. Who knows, maybe after spending a little bit of time around him, she may see him in a different light. There is a time when you have to decide if you still respect your parents wishes or do you do what you know will make you happy. I think you have reached it, sweetie. Follow your heart!

Answer 3

Before you condemn your parents take a good look at why they dissapprove of him because usually parents are just looking out for your best interest. If he has some major character flaws or he has no future maybe they are right. If they have a bad reason or worse no reason for not liking him then stay with your heart. Explain to them everything you see in him and how much he means to you. If they still don't understand then the problem is them and you will just have to stay strong and wait it out. Also have your boyfriend suck up a little start with your siblings or possibly grandparents. My mom was won over when she saw how much my bf took care of my little bro.

Answer 4

I copied your words ..

My boyfriend means the world to me, but my family has always been the most important thing in my life.
You said "but"..My family has always been the most important thing in my life..
Maybe they see something you dont?
It seems to me if you were so close to them before they would have your best interests at heart..right?I am not there and i dont know anything -only what you wrote and what jumped out at me..
Ask them why they dont like him?Then REALLY LISTEN..You certainly dont have to do as they say..Just pretend you have a little sister..Would you like it if your little sister were to go out with him..Figuratively speaking..of course..LOL
If you still feel as if your parents are only trying to control you or something-then i would say there comes a time when you have to live your own life!They will adjust eventually if they wanna keep you in their close circle-so long as there is no abuse going on.We all have to learn our own life lessons!Mom and dad may have to let go and let you learn yours!

Good luck!

Answer 5

i'm a thirty twelve months previous mom of three. I grew up with an quite opinionated kinfolk additionally. We ended up going to kinfolk counseling mutually some years in the past because of the fact i could not take it anymore the two. We examine a e book stated as barriers which grew to become into marvelous. This quite helped my kinfolk and that i. I additionally had to study to not tell them any information approximately my existence and to maintain issues obscure while we communicate. you may could desire to even save your distance for a speedy time. Do you nevertheless stay at abode? in case you do i might pass out. with the help of how i'm a instructor and it quite is a rewarding job. It takes somebody with a huge heart for babies to coach. I wish you success with this occasion.

Answer 6

I'm the wrong person to answer, probably. My parents never approved of anyone I brought home. If I dumped a guy thinking that would win approval, it backfired and they asked me whatever happened to him. I wound up thinking they didn't think anybody was good enough for me. Thats probably the issue with your parents, too. Deep down they just want you to be safe and happy. Let them vent, say, "OK", and then do what you want!

Answer 7

I say why care what other people think. You are the one who has to live with the choices you make, not your family. If you love your boyfriend then by all means, stay with him. Don't let your family ruin what could be your soul mate. If they were any kind of family, they would respect you and your man.

Answer 8

they see what you dont ,they are older and wieser,listen to them as they only want the best for you ,and if they are not happy with him then they are getting vibes from him that gives a parent warning signs,these vibes switch on the second you are born ,when you have a child you will know what im talking about till then let your parents protect you ,no one will ever love you as they do,

Answer 9

I have the same problem, my parents dislike my boyfriend as well, but they also disliked my sisters boyfriend until they became really serious. Maybe they are just being protective and they don't want to see you grow up. You're their baby, and they want you to love them forever. Talk to them about it, tell them you respect them and ask them why they don't like him, if it's a stupid reason, then just try to live past it, but if it's legitamite, think about it. If you love him, that's all that matters, you have to live with him; they don't.
Good luck :)

Answer 10

this will sound like a cliche' but this is true, follow your heart. as long as you are happy and not stepping on anybody's toes, not hurting anyone in the process, GO FOR IT!! as you have said, you are an adult already. what you do in your own time, is your own prerogative. be happy.