My friend is a solid believer of god... i don't know how to spell it but she calls herself a "piscapallian". That has been O.K for two years, but now it's near Christmas. my family and I celebrate Christmas because we believe in jesus; we just don't believe he's the son of god. lately my friend has been pressing me, telling me that god exists and that's why everybody celebrates christmas, and that god made adam and eve and there was no evolution ands everything. so I started protesting, saying no god doesn't exist, and that there was no such thing as adam or eve. so she says that I can't say that and that it's hurting her because I'm questioning what she believes. i told her she was doing that to me too, but she asys it isn't the same. i think it is. what can I do to make her see my side?
2006-12-13 12:04:23 · 24 answers · asked by Jahzarra 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
you need to listen to her.
2006-12-13 12:07:27 · answer #1 · answered by Hannah's Grandpa 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Episcopalian. This is a Christian denomination and, by the way, I was an Episcopalian for many years, and most Episcopalians don't believe in a literal Adam and Eve; most accept evolution. It's a matter of personal opinion. But they do believe in God and in Jesus as the Son of God and our redeemer.
Since this seems not to have been an issue before, I think something has happened in her life to make this an issue for her. I am sure she means well and only wants to help you. Has she had some kind of spiritual awakening, read a book, or been influenced by a new person in her life?
I hope you can persuade her that the two of you can agree to disagree. Maybe you could also tell her that you are mostly impressed by the way people live rather than what they say.
2006-12-13 20:16:53 · answer #2 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Episcopalian friend is asserting that she believes the Bible, which teaches about creation, Adam and Eve, and who Jesus is. The Bible says that we are all sinners, and in order to get to God, we must trust Jesus (who is God's Son) to save us. So your friend probably thinks it's very important that you believe what she believes. It sounds like she isn't going about expressing this to you in the best way, though. To answer your question, if she is a true Christian, she probably will not see your side very easily. My best suggestion is that you should remain calm, ask her to listen to you, and do her the honor of listening to her as well. You could also suggest that you look for more information about these topics together. You might both learn something. Good luck.
2006-12-13 20:22:43 · answer #3 · answered by Lily 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very hard issue, because it takes maturity and understanding that each person has their own relationship and belief in God or that there is not a God. Sometimes this belief is so personal and so intertwined with their own fears about life, death, heaven and hell that they have to believe that only their own opinions and beliefs are right and when someone disagrees it shoves that fear right back to the front and does in fact hurt them.
You may never be able to convince your friend, but just ask her to please respect your beliefs as you respect hers. Tell her that your family only celebrates Christmas in a secular way, as it is a national holiday and that you are not in tune with her religious beliefs. Agree to disagree and if that is not good enough the friendship may not be able to be a very deep or close one. Try to steer topics of chat away from religion as much as possible, as with friends like these it only leads to trouble and argument. Good luck!
2006-12-13 20:09:54 · answer #4 · answered by Unity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, since religion is based on faith and not necessarily fact, that the issue is a highly emotional one. So when talking with her you can't really appeal to a logical way, but an emotional one. Maybe express that you empathize with her views, but truly just unconvinced about it all and that you like to celebrate Christmas because it's family tradition and fun.
If she presses, lay down that we both agree to disagree. If she accepts that well you both will probably have a nice friendship going, but if she doesn't accept it..oh well that's her choice to make. A good friend will accept your views for you, but retain her own ones for herself.
2006-12-13 20:25:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say, dear one
we have had a really great friendship,
and if the doctrine of our faiths is much more of an issue
we perhaps will need to take a break.
I don't deserve the bible beating each time we get together
I will not make you see things only my way.
I ask your respect, and I will give you my respect.
We can still be friends, but in my opinion friends don't abuse each other. Let's find common ground and celebrate that!
2006-12-13 20:10:50 · answer #6 · answered by Godis! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometime you just can't. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree, and even avoid religious discussion for the time being.
But if you do continue to have religious discussion an important phrase to keeping the peace in these situations is "I believe...," or "in my belief..." instead of saying "God isn't real" just say "I believe God isn't real." Do you see how that can smooth the waters a bit in situations like this?
2006-12-13 20:08:28 · answer #7 · answered by daisyk 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she respects you she will respect your beliefs.
I am a Muslim with many non-Muslim friends (Christian, Catholic, and Wiccan) We celebrate the holidays together. They will come to my home for Eid and we all celebrate Christmas.
My Dad is Atheist and still celebrates Christmas.
My families belief is that we are celebrating the spirit of giving as well as the commercialization of America. We are not celebrating Jesus (pbuh) nor Santa.
My friends are celebrating the winter solstice (Wicca) and the birth of Jesus (Christian and Catholic) but we still can love and respect each other.
We know as friends we are welcome to ask each other about the others belief systems. We know the more that we learn about the othe beliefs the more we know about each other.
2006-12-13 20:26:00 · answer #8 · answered by Layla 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don"t Believe Jesus Is the Son Of God,Then why do you Believe You can Approach The Holy God.Thru "Good Deeds"
The Believer you are dating should run from you., By definition
You are your own god.
2006-12-13 20:21:56 · answer #9 · answered by section hand 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just tell her that you are sorry for hurting her feelings but she has her oppinions and you have yours. She needs to understand that those are your personal oppinion and you need to tell her that according to her, god gave every one freewill and that you can believe in anything you want.
I have a friend and she is of another religion and at first we couldnt never agree, but we made kinda like a pact, that we where not gonna even touch the subject, b/c we didnt like to hurt eachother. Tell her that you respect her oppinion and her faith but that she also need to respect your faith, b/c the same way she feels about her's you feel about yours, and you dont want that to get in b/ween your friendship.
2006-12-13 20:17:56 · answer #10 · answered by chinaz777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you. I could not handle being around someone who pushes ideas as true--ideas that I cannot accept. Why do you spend so much time talking about religion? Just drop it-----talk about other things. I have a friend who is Catholic, and I cannot accept Christianity-let along Catholicism. I believe in G-d, but G-d is not Jesus. Jesus was just a man. I do not understand why they believe in Mary so strongly, and saints, and statues. To me, it is honestly stupid. But, she and I do other things, talk about other things----we never mention religion.
Why can't you and your friend agree to disagree, and not mention religion again?
2006-12-13 20:14:17 · answer #11 · answered by Shossi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋