Basically. Was very drunk following row with husband. Stormed into town. This man appeared out of nowhere. talked me into getting into a cab with him. Arrived at a house was given a very very strong drink. Remember nothing after about three quarters of an hour. Remember leaving and him calling a cab and pressing £10 into my hand for the cab. Got home, discovered it was 7 hours after the time I had left - no recollection. Was very bruised and split 'inside'. Discovered 'stains' on my trousers. Next day - realised my wallet was missing from my bag. 2 days later, banged into the guy in the street - he actually turned on his heel AND RAN.
Yes, I'm going for STI checks. Please don't bother with hatemail - I hate myself enough. - do you think there was foul play?
2006-12-13 11:01:10 · 19 answers · asked by Madam Rosmerta 5 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
Oh, Debbiecat - yes, it sounds very much like it. Probably the drink was spiked and, well, not like this worthless turd was worrying about consent. To go to the police or not ? Such a difficult one.
You seem intelligent and you probably realise that a conviction would be unlikely. He would claim you went with him of free will, were drunk, but consented and that the sex was rough. Without forensic evidence of rohypnol or similar being administered to you, it would be tough for you to prove otherwise. I think the conviction rate in rape cases is still below 20% and I'm not even sure the CPS would want to take this one to court without some corroborating forensic evidence. Unfortunately the circumstances would give the piece of dirt several of the more odious lines of defence, and no doubt he'd use them. A rape trial is such a harrowing ordeal - forget the niceties, nine times out of ten the woman and her 'morality' is on trial - and I've seen women broken on that wheel, only because they had the courage to make the complaint and stick to their guns. The payload of anger it leaves behind is, if possible, as much or more than the rape itself. Feminism still has a lot of work to do.
Some of the other answers mention reasons why you should report this - he might do it again, you have a responsibility to other women and so on. Well, maybe, but you didn't ask to be raped and I'd say it's justified for you to handle the aftermath in the way that works best for you. No good options, but choose the least worst for yourself.
None of it changes what happened to you - there was almost certainly foul play and you didn't consent. Maybe you were a little trusting, unfriendly voices might even say reckless but you were attacked despicably and that is not your fault or your responsibility, it's the rapist's.
In the end I'm a man and can never really understand these things from a woman's point of view. Often make things worse rather than better, so sorry if I've done that here. All I can really say is follow your own instinct on what you do about this - you deserve and should get respect and support for whatever you decide - and take the best care of yourself you possibly can.
2006-12-13 12:14:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak to the police as soon as possible, from what you have said you were raped and probably drugged to enable this, You need to do this quickly. The longer you leave it the less chance there is of getting evidence, although the chances are most date rape drugs would be out of your system within 24 hours.
It is a huge decision that you need to make and you probably need to tell your husband, you will need to be properly examined by a police doctor, who will make a statement.
It is not a pleasant experience I am sorry to say, and it is a decision that only you can make, you will need to make a statement to a specially trained police officer and you can ask for a woman offficer of you feel more comfortable. This officer will guide you through the whole process from the moment you make an allegation.
Please please do not feel like you have done anything wrong and dont hate yourself, from what you have said you have been the victim of a calculated individual who set out to commit a rape.
Even if you chose not to go to the police I would personally advise you to seek some councilling on the matter rather than go through it alone, if you dont want to speak to the police, who can arrange councilling for bith you and your husband, your GP should be able to.
Not wanting to make a bad situation worse, I know you say you are being checked for STI's, ask for a pregnancy check as well, a lot of people in your situation dont think about that and a lot of the time neither do the medical staff.
Be strong and I wish you all the best in the decision you make, please remember that you are NOT at fault, no matter how drunk you may have been or how annoyed you were after a bust up, not giving consent or being to drunk or drugged to give consent is rape.
2006-12-14 05:02:08 · answer #2 · answered by rick_wenham 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the very strong "drink" you had was very possibly drugged. This is happening to women more & more nowadays. Rapists are getting away with it because the women can't recollect exactly what happened, are embarrassed & don't want to report it. Don't hate yourself, you did nothing wrong. You should go to the police & report it even though I can understand you may not want to. If you know what he looks like & the area he lives in etc then if the police catch him then you may stop him doing this to other women in the future.
May I suggest you seek concelling for this? I think that would help a lot.
Good luck with everything & never accept a drink from someone you don't really know unless you see a barmaid pour it/open it.
x
2006-12-13 11:34:47 · answer #3 · answered by Meeeee! 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i have self belief that rape is a rather a lot huge-spread concern. constructive, there are some isolated societies the position the concern isn't as urgent, yet you fairly ought to seek for them. I also would communicate about that your criteria for a rape loose society is very complicated to achieve. this is human nature, sorry to assert, that once there is not any danger from predatory animals, human beings fill that area of interest for themselves. human beings also will be predisposed for tinkering with their very own nutrition provide...many a despot has stumbled on that starving the lots, and utilizing the reductions for guns is an efficient technique of administration. human beings also not often share potential and administration, they take what they could get...and attempt to get more desirable. in case you check out it, replacing human nature is about the actually thanks to finish a replace in the rape costs.
2016-10-18 06:18:58 · answer #4 · answered by rybicki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't consent from start to finish then it is classed as rape. However i would urge you to think long and hard about going to the police. If you point the finger at this guy then you need to be sure. There are thousands of rape allegations every month just like yours that are drink related. If you are confident that you did not consent to sex then of course go to the police. However from what you have written above about the chain of events a good solicitor would tear you into shreads and you could end up being charged with wasting police time.
2006-12-14 09:01:10 · answer #5 · answered by lyndon747 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well, the act of rape not sure. him stealing your purse/wallet most likley. taxi company may be able to help with pick up, drop off point. it might spark something in your own recollection. you normally don't get complete recall until 48 hours after an event. but something like a chance meeting, or a street might jog your memory, sorry for your dilemma, and good luck.
2006-12-13 11:31:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes from what you are saying I would think that there was foul play... it is a good thing that you are going to get checked and that you are even able to tell about it... not to say that what happened isn't bad enough but it could have ended up ALOT worse... but yes I think that you were raped and that there was foul play. good luck to you and be careful out there.
2006-12-13 11:35:17 · answer #7 · answered by Wiked 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Possibly, have the sti tests and wait for the results! Also you may wanna go to the police if you are worried!
good luck and god bless x
2006-12-13 11:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea you need to go to the hospital and get checked out, theres no reason for the guy to run from you if he didnt do anything wrong,
talk to your husband tooo maybe he can help you emotionally, and maybe a pastor because God can help anybody all you have to do is know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior
God Bless
2006-12-13 11:30:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes of course. You need to go to the police. They have special police do deal with this. Dont let him get away with it.
2006-12-14 21:05:56 · answer #10 · answered by danny c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋