My son is a straight A (kind of a know it all) student and hasn't had a problem up to this point. He's gifted and everyone has told me that there would come a time when the other kids would start to dislike him. He came home today covered in mud because some kid pushed him down....twice. (My son admitted that he was being annoying and saying the kids name over and over again until the kid pushed him). My question is this....how do I handle this? I told my son to just stop bothering this kid and stay away from him. Any suggestions? (don't worry I'm capable of ignoring the stupid comments, lol) :) Thanks everyone.
2006-12-13 10:22:25 · 19 answers · asked by razor_sharp_redhead 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
It's very clear which of you have children of your own and which ones of you do not (or should not, lol). Thank you all for understanding that allowing your kids to 'learn by their mistakes' is no easy task for any parent who cares about their child. It's not easy to watch your child be hurt and embarrassed (even when they've asked for it) thanks again to those who understand and were willing to give their input.
2006-12-13 11:23:40 · update #1
Kids can really push each others buttons sometimes. Most of the times they are equally a pain to each other. Your son was honest enough to admit he pushed this other boys buttons and you should give him praise that he told you the truth. It is an important lesson that he learned today and he needs to tell you if it happens again without being provoked by him. He does not deserve to be hit but he is learning the cause and effect of his behaviour at the same time. You can remind him to try to treat others the way he wants to be treated but he needs to know that physical violence is not alright either. If this other boy comes after him again after today then your son needs to get the school involved. At this point I would let him ride it out and see how tomorrow goes.
2006-12-13 10:36:34 · answer #1 · answered by smilingmick 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi - I'm a mom of a gifted child myself and they do tend to be targets of this type of thing. I would sit down and have that conversation with your son - it sounds like he knows he was "being annoying". However, being annoying is not a crime. I would also call the principal and explain the situation - just because your son was being annoying simply doesn't justify his being pushed into the mud. The other kids could have just walked away instead of pushing your son into the mud. I'd nip it in the bud.
2006-12-13 11:35:45 · answer #2 · answered by tasha2girl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boys grow up in constant state of competition. We are wired that way. It is important to boys to measure themselves against other boys. (Hierarcy) At early childhood ages, it is physical and involves bumping, pushing, running, etc. There is also some display of mental fencing, but it would be of greatest atvantage if the result would be the physical abuse of the other person. (hence the practical joke).
Every male will have this aspect all his life. Males want the 'respect' of their peers and children can get physical to achieve it. Things like height, strength, speed, endurance, taking pain, will have an effect on his self esteem in the growing years. Later, it comes down to who has the most information to despense. Jobs and money is also a factor in hierarcy. The less mature males will express "how much money does it look like I have?"
Those boys who will not beat up the 'bully' have to find their own place on the ladder of men. Your son probably has taken the lesson : annoying that particular guy will result in an embarrassing fall in front of others. Luckly at that age there is a slim chance that of real injury.
I personally have not had team sports as a child, but as a father of a boy and girl, I have seen the value of placing children into team sports to teach them the physical skills for the male social ladder.
As an experiment, you might want to observe the social standing he has with his friends, or with other boys in the school. Is he a follower? a leader? the cynic? the helper?
2006-12-13 10:50:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why people told you that he'd have problems because he's gifted. My son is in the gifted class and the gifted music class. No body picks on him just because of that. I can understand that the kid pushed him but it was still wrong. I'd tell your son that he needs to not be annoying, my son helps the kids that need help during recess and in class. Maybe you can tell your boy to use his powers for good and not evil. LOL I'm sorry had to do it. See if he can help out other kids when he is done with his work and such. He'll feel much better about himself and his attitude will probably change.
2006-12-13 10:43:01 · answer #4 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let your son know how proud you are of him how well he is doing in school but that if you are mean to other people and disrespect them theyre likely to respond in a bad manner.
Just because he does well in school doesnt mean that kids will dislike him its about his attitude towards his classmates that sounds like is getting him in trouble.
You may want to talk to his teacher about his behavior. Is this a one time thing that has occurred or is it on going. I would set some ground rules for your sons behavior good and bad so he knows that when he is bad at school there is a punishment. But if he does well and treats others well there is rewards to go along with it too. good luck
2006-12-13 10:45:54 · answer #5 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a teacher. I would not, repeat would not, get involved. Your son admitted that he was taunting the other boy. He needs to learn that his behavior has consequences. He also needs to learn, like another person stated, that kids will be less tolerant of him because things come so easily to him. In his situation, he needs to learn how to mix well with the other kids and be liked by them.Kids who are very bright, but socially maladjusted do not seem to do well. People skills are just as important as intelligence. Remind him of that.
2006-12-13 10:38:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
well he was being annoying... not that pushing him in the mud is the right solution... kids respond that way though... you have to let your son know that there are people out there that will hurt you for no apparent reason so the last thing you want to do is give them one... i know its heart breaking because he is your child and you don't want his feelings hurt but he may of had this one coming Best of luck!
2006-12-13 10:30:14 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda F 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well first tell your son to be more respectful of people that way he wont annoy them. And kids are always getting into trouble, its their nature. I suggest that you tell your son to keep his nose clean and maybe give him a treat liek take him out to dinner jsut you and him or go mini golfin kids love that. If the kids know that they will be rewarded for doing something good they will strive to do their best and not annoy people.
2006-12-13 10:40:19 · answer #8 · answered by dontcry2me 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe you could talk to the parent and explain the situation. You both could get the boys together and they could work it out with you guys by apologizing to eachother. This would teach them to confront, communicate and have empathy on both sides. It is always best to work things out and make the other parent aware of the situation.
2006-12-13 11:43:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your son is annoying and pestering another and gets pushed in the mud and you don't know what to do? Take parenting classes or join the real world where if you affect some else's life, when they are only trying to enjoy their own, there may (and should be) repercussions. Teach your son to enjoy his life and let others enjoy theirs!
2006-12-13 10:36:54 · answer #10 · answered by golfer2122 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋