Okay, slight family problem......?

Question

Okay, so, my family is taking this trip to Italy over spring break, and I couldn't be happier. So, i'm a seventh grader, and i have an eleventh grade sister. We're both smart. But, it seems like my parents always talk to her about it, about how she'll be our guide, how we couldn't do it without her, and how she must be SO excited to be going. What do they say to me? Honey, you need to read this, and do this, and learn this before you go. So i have to work to go, but she can just go. I mean, i found our apartments and attractions, but she gets all the praise. Am i being selfish here? I just feel really left out. Please tell me what you think. Thanks a bunch!

Answer 1

First and foremost allow me to congratulate you on you impeccable grammar and orthography; if only some of the 'adults' here were a tenth as good as you!

Parents tend to consider their first born in most family situations. Don't feel neglected or underestimated. Know that the conditioning most of us have gone through make us act the way we do. Don't change trying to get their attention. You know you're good and that should suffice. even though we strive for our parents approval and love, if it's there it's there if it's not always remember that the best approval comes from within!

Kudos to you!!! Oh, and have a great time on you vacations! Italy is beautiful!

Answer 2

The best thing to do is to explain to them, exactly the way you explained it to us, and let them know you'd like to be acknowledged for the role you have played in finding apartments and attractions.

Let them know you're serious, without getting angry with them. They probably don't even realize they're doing this; they may be used to thinking of you as the "little one" and aren't really aware of how much you've changed since entering middle school.

And no, you're not being selfish. We ALL like to be acknowledged for the things we do -- it's a rewarding part of life. It's good that you've noticed this now and are looking for solutions and advice toward a positive outcome now; since the trip isn't till spring, you have time to make a big contribution and to make sure your parents include you in planning, development, and in acknowledgment for your help.

And however it works out... have a GREAT trip! I love Italy... the country is beautiful, the architecture magnificent, the art unparalleled, the food is out of this world, and the people are the warmest, most open, friendly and welcoming in the world. You'll have a wonderful time there!

Answer 3

no, you are not being selfish here. i have an older sister---(by 14 minutes, we're twins)---and she's gone off to college b/c i got held back a yr. whenever i do something, that i found, and she didn't, everything goes over to her. ex: i wanted a horse. all of a sudden, my sis latches on to the idea (even though she had no such idea), and she's saying that she'll be riding, blah, blah, blah. it's like what?! this is my horse! back off! ex: i'm getting a portable DVD player for x-mas. we go & buy it, and when we get home, my sis is like, "i want one, you can get another one.". one thing (important): there is nothing else that i truly want from my parents for x-mas. there's a gazillion other things my sis wants. if i don't get this portable DVD player, then i won't get anything (except the presents that i'm giving to myself) from my parents. so yes, i know EXACTLY how you feel. my sister says i'm selfish, when i won't do something, yet when i go out to a craft store, i'll get her a charm, i've done similar things several times. has she ever done anything like that? no. simply no. it's always the younger ones that have it fallen on to do all the work, but the older ones always get the praise.
i suggest, that you get your parents alone, have serious conversation about it, and tell them that you found your apts., & attractions, but that she gets all the praise. tell them how you feel. that might not work either, b/c i've tried that and neither of my parents seem to get it. i'll can tell you to do is talk to them. tell them, that you don't need to do anything for the trip, except be prepared with your luggage, and to have a fabulous time. that you don't need to learn anything, b/c you'll learn everything you need to know [about Italy] over there [in Italy]! learning comes with exploring, and that's what you'll be doing exploring---so you'll be doing learning along the way, you just won't know it! (and i bet you'll pick up (learn) more stuff than your sis will over there in italy)! good luck and have fun! all my sympathy to you!

Answer 4

i'm now not Christian besides the undeniable fact that right this is my opinion as nicely. I hit upon the Rede leaves slightly too much wiggle room and would not quilt many factors of a ethical code. It leaves the question: How have you ever learnt what harm is? the three fold regulation fills in numerous of those holes and agencies concerns up in uncomplicated terms a splash besides the undeniable fact that I hit upon its tone actually slightly offensive. Its no better then you definately'll pass to hell once you you do not... (which i actual do in comparison to). Now i'm neither Christian nor Wiccan besides the undeniable fact that i'm pagan. I basically adjust to a incredibly different degree of ethics and ethical accountability (Celtic reconstructionist/druid), besides the undeniable fact that I even have obtrusive this "toddler killing/stealing" out look in the previous than and it quite makes me shake my head. I hit upon it confusing to experience that yet yet another man or woman can quite evaluate that the conventional guy or female is even equipped of regardless of like that. i grew to become into as quickly as consistently taught judge as you will possibly be judged. and that i understand that peoples judgments are frequently in keeping with their very own tendency, as in a liar will assume lies and so on. Which quite makes me ask your self...what does that Christian do in his spare time?

Answer 5

Just wait and you will get the praise too. Go out of your way to help with the preparations. You are doing a great job.

Answer 6

No I don't think you are being selfish. Parents don't like to admit it but most of them do play favorites. Hang in there, your time will come.

Answer 7

its hard having and older sister. try to sit down with them and talk your feelings out. call a 'family meeting' together and be the chairwoman. tell them calmly and maturely about it. maybe they will understand you and change the way they are treating you.

Answer 8

Talk to your parents~MATURELY~ and tell them how you feel. Tell them what you just said. I'm sure they wouldn't want you to feel this way, & didn't realize the effect what they were saying had on you.

Answer 9

tell your parents you feel left out. you dont really feel as important to them. basically just tell them what you told us... your not being selfish. trust me. just when you tell them, make sure you stay calm. thats really all ive got for you. good luck.

Answer 10

you are not being selfish, you feel like you are being left out. talk to your parents and let them know how you feel , and tell them that you feel left out. and tell them you wish they would talk to you like they talk to your sister.