How to I fix my confidence problem?

Question

I have liked many girls before and gotten to know some of them, but I was afraid to tell them I liked them. I think maybe I was afraid that they would laugh and try to embarass me. I should have confidence, and people tell me that I especially should, because they tell me that I am tall and muscular, and that I'm good looking, but that didn't help my confidence. There is a girl right now, but I can't find the right opportunity to talk to her. I am afraid to start a conversation with her, because I am afraid that she'll think I'm a fool, because it is so random walking up to a girl and saying hi, what's your name, or something like that? How do fix this?

Answer 1

Michael, all the answers say the same thing...learn to believe in yourself. Think of yourself as your own best friend. You are really a wonderful guy. If some gal doesn't recognize how great you are, then she probably wouldn't interest you anyway, at least once you got to know her. Learn to love yourself, to recognize you are great and wonderful and unique in the universe. Honor yourself, acknowledge yourself as being unique and a really nice guy. Now, if you want to say "hello" to someone, say it. The worst they could do would be to ignore you. Remember the story about the guy who used to go up to girls in a bar and ask to get laid. Sure he got slapped a lot but he also got laid a lot. If you don't ask, you've already accepted "no" as the answer. Ask, and as the Bible says, "and you shall receive".

Answer 2

Do it afraid. The worse that can happen is that she's not that into you. Your worst fears come true, you find out that it's not the end of the world, and you move on with more strength built up to talk to the next girl.

If you're approaching a random girl, take things slow. Start by saying "hi" a time or two and then eventually ask how her day is going and introduce yourself. Then if things are still going well ask for her number the next time you see her. You can't expect a stranger to warm up to you very fast, so if she's not interested or is moving really slow be understanding of how exceptional the situation is.

Answer 3

Try this, first off, if you want to exude confidence, act as if you are confident, and you will be. I had to do this when auditioning for a band once. I was scared to death, but I acted as if I had confidence, and it made all the difference in the world. Confidence isn't being a bragger or shoving your newfound you in everyones face, it's a quiet inside job that only you need to know about.

If you want to catch this girls eye, do just that. Make sure you show up somewhere she is, and ask her for the time, and when you say thanks, give her a sheepish cute little grin, flutter your eyelashes and walk away. Girls really go for quiet shy types, so make sure you find yourself in her presence a few times and say hello whenever you see her. Gaze at her, and smile if she catches you looking. If you genuinely like her, let her know in a soft gentlemanly manner. Always be sweet, and don't be afraid of rejection, that makes a lot of guys act like idiots. You don't have to say a lot, but when you do, make sure you ask her a lot of questions about herself, don't brag about yourself yet because your day will come. Good luck, and remember, act as if....

Answer 4

Well, atleast you know that it is random to act as if you have known them all your life. Now, the best thing to do is to find a casual setting, this could be in a class room, a lunch room, basically a place where she isn't in a hurry to get to somewhere. If the lunch room is the case, ask if you can sit with her, and do this nicely, don't seem like a prick about it and say "I'm sitting here.". Make her feel and know that you're interested in her and that she really means something, and after your first encounter, ask her to go do something, like see a movie or goto a starbucks. The main idea is to go for a casual setting where you aren't pressed for time.

Answer 5

Okay... first rarely would a girl laugh or try to embarrass you if you tell her you liked her. If she did she is just plain immature and is that someone you would really want to be with? I understand your feeling of randomness, walking up to a girl and saying hi.. it can be kind of overwhelming. But no one ever has a negative response to saying hi, sometimes people get caught off guard and have a slow reation saying hey back.. You sound like a great guy, just a bit intimidated by girls, but there is no reason to be, they are probably just as nervous as you are. You could always say something like "How you doin'?" like Joey on Friends, that always makes girls laugh, then say something like you have a great smile.. lol.. good luck...

Answer 6

First thing don't be so hard on yourself. No one is perfect in gods eyes we are all egual. Just remember so what if the girl does say no, what's she going to do if you do talk to her bite you? If she does well there is your answer you didn't need her anyway right. lol Next if you do have a hard time talking to a girl face to face try calling her or writing her a note. You would be surprised how a note helps the other person can't interrupt you when you are talking or yell at you on paper. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

I have found that if you do things over & over again then you will someday make it a habit. Walking up to anybody and saying hello is definitely not stupid it is the ONLY way for you to meet new people. So basically try it out - just say hi and nothing else and then when you are comfortable with just saying hi then say how are you doing - you know like Joey does on Friends. and then so on and so forth.... next thing you know you will be a mcdaddy....

Good Luck - and remember love yourself and others will follow

:-)

Answer 8

Your fear of rejection and or ridicule is what is driving this lack of confidence. Aim for smaller goals, Instead of saying hi You are hot etc. try making a comment about what she is doing Reading a book etc or you could try to get her to help you. borrow a friends cell phone or similar palm pilot etc and simply ask her for help with it. Once you get speaking to her and you are sure of her interest or lack thereof, you can either say thank you and walk away or come clean about why you asked for help. Good luck!!

Answer 9

Self-confidence stems from how you see yourself, how you value yourself.
You just need to realize your full potential (capabilities) and you should do fine.
Learn what your positive characteristics are, and lean on those good qualities that you have, when you carry on a conversation with them.

Answer 10

this may seem funny but look in the mirror and keep repeating to yourself i have confidence in my self over and over, if you really like her tell her she's not going to think of you as a fool. your a fool if you don't ask her. so get going and ask her out you can do it.