Theres this guy i've known for a few months and the other day he came to my house. When he was leaving he hugged me and we started kissing. This went on for about 15mins. He left and about two hours later i got an email from him saying sorry about before and that he thinks we should carry on being friends. I really like him and I could tell he likes me too. Why is he saying lets just be friends when there are obvious feelings between us??
2006-12-13 09:19:16 · 51 answers · asked by xoxpink_princesss 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He wants you to be his friend with benefits. In other words, he's using you for his needs and doesn't want to bother with a relationship.
2006-12-13 09:22:19 · answer #1 · answered by gel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are two reasons.
1) He may really like you and not want to mess up what he perceives to be a potential friendship with a messy bf/gf relationship.
2) He may have the hots for you but may also be interested in someone else at the same time and doesnt want to lead you on, which is a really nice thing if you think about it.
I noticed a lot of stupid comments from some saying he just wants a f.w.b. and he just wants to use you for sex etc. If that was the case then he would not tell you he was sorry, he would continue to lead you on until he had sex with you and I don't see that happening based on what you have told us. In fact, I see just the opposite indications. It is possible that he is gay or bi or whatever, but again, we don't have indications of that based on your information.
2006-12-13 09:36:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because when friends start to date and then break up, the friendship is lost as well. People are often very scared to become intimate with close friends for fear of this, and it might seem that he has been harsh with you (or even that he was toying with you), but he's obviously gone away and felt really guilty about spoiling your relationship.
At least he was honest and apologised - this shows what a good friend he is, he cares about you. Ok, it might have been by email and not to your face, but this shows that he has feelings and was obviously too embarrassed or ashamed to say it to your face.
If you're meant to be together, it will happen, but it has to happen in it's own time. If you do become intimate again, you both have to give serious consideration to what will become of your friendship if you split up later.
Good luck hun x
2006-12-13 09:30:19 · answer #3 · answered by Swordy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well there's a distinct possibility that you are a very kissable girl. And if he knows you very well, there is that chance that he really does like you a lot more than just being friends.
Why don't you e-mail him and ask him if he thinks you too can be more than just friends? You have nothing to lose, and then you will know. Besides, he his your friend, and he will understand your question and your reason for asking it. Why will he know this? Because you're going to question him about the kissing . Hey you have to sometimes be aggressive. This is one of those times ..
Good luck!
2006-12-13 09:31:34 · answer #4 · answered by Gnome 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is either all mixed up, or he is choosing to play with your mind, maybe for ego sake!
I would tell him that it is fine with you to be friends, and smile, and even giggle,,,,, and go out 3 or 4 times in a week. Let him wonder where you are, when he can't reach you. Let him think it doesn't even bother you whatsoever that he wants to only be friends. Be real sweet about it. Just say okay, happily, and then change the subject!!!!!!
Haha, you will really have him going! I guarantee you - he won't be playing those games anymore.
Believe me, I know what I'm talking about!
DO IT!!!!!
2006-12-13 09:24:38 · answer #5 · answered by Peekie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hes probably really insecure or maybe he doesnt think you want a relationship with him you should ask him y he kissed you for so long and if that meant anything to him also u need to make it clear to him that ur interested in having a relationship not just "friends with benefits" so i would say u should let him know how u feel and if he still doesnt come around den maybe the feelings he has for you arent strong enough or they could be n hes just not ready for a relationship
2006-12-13 09:25:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
awwww
maybe he got scared...maybe having doubts b/t you two dating...maybe he got caught in the moment.
All of it is maybes and you will always wonder.......my suggestion is to ask him. Talk to him. Tell him you enjoyed the other night, kissing and all, and are curious as to why he doesnt want to date.
If he says "I dont want to ruin our friendship" tell him that a TRUE friendship will last no matter what. If he still doesnt want to date, you cant make him...but let him know up front how you feel about him. Let him know you're willing to take a chance to date him and get to know him better.
If you dont at least ask him, you will always wonder "what if..." and you're life will be miserable.
Take it from me and ask.
Dont be disappointed if he says NO...just continue to be great friends. =)
Good Luck!
2006-12-13 09:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by da_nikkster 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't know what he wants yet. It has only been a couple months right? Just cause he kisses you does not mean it is time for a serious relationship. I'd give it at least 6 months, then you'll know.
2006-12-13 09:37:10 · answer #8 · answered by Cloud 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Lesley on this one I went through that whole friends with benefits with my know husband but we Did the whole f.w.b for about 2 years and I decided I had enough and starting to make plans with other guys and he didn't like that and asked me to be his girl then I went from that to his wife to know the mother of his 3 children Good luck play your cards right!!!!!!
2006-12-13 09:24:08 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because hes probably a sleaze who wants to have 'no attachments relationships' so when you catch him making out or hooking up with some other chick, or you find out he slept with a one night stand, he can say "hey, u cant be mad at me, we're just friends".. but then on the otherhand he can still have you whenever he wants coz now he konws your keen..
2006-12-13 10:20:51 · answer #10 · answered by WomanSoHeartless 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he was confused at the time and knows that being friends will be better for the both of you.
Sometimes you have to have what you think you want, then take a step outside of the situation to realize that you don't really need/want it at all...
If he keeps saying that he wants to be friends...that is ALL that he wants, and don't assume more, or you will end up heartbroken.
2006-12-13 09:22:33 · answer #11 · answered by GirlInMassachusettTOWN 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋