We have been together for over 3 years. We plan on getting married in 2009 but we have different views on how we want to live our lives once we start a family. I want to have 2-3 children close in age. I want to be a stay at home mom until my children are all in school full time. I dont like the idea of pawning my kids off on family members or day care. I want my children to be raised by us not strangers. Once my kids are in school I want to either go to school or find a nice part time job just for spending purposes and to give me something to do. He works at a job that pays well and he loves it. I dont have to work in order for us to live comfortably. In his mind for me not to work is unheard of. He would rather let his mom watch our kids and for me to work full time like he does. Although he loves his job he feels it isnt fair for him to work and me stay at home with the kids. To me it isnt fair for his mom and my kids for us not being around while our children grow up.
2006-12-13 08:50:36 · 6 answers · asked by angel l 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He feels that I just want to be lazy and stay at home. In fact I want to raise my kids and teach them all I can before they are set out into the world. This is a topic that we just cant agree on. Is there anyone with the same issue or that can give me advice?
2006-12-13 08:52:26 · update #1
I respect all that he does. He is a very hard worker. He feels like I just want a free ticket through life! Along with staying at home comes house work too!!!
2006-12-13 08:53:53 · update #2
No offence to those who do have family or daycare take care of the children. Everyone has a right to chose how they chose to do it. I am no one to judge what is right or wrong!!!
2006-12-13 08:55:58 · update #3
Seriuosly, not to sound mean, but you are being stupid. I understand that you not wanting to work for a while, but if you let his mother or a family member watch your kids while you work ,that does not mean they are raising your children. It just means they are watching them while you work. You are the parent and can give the caregiver strict orders on what and what not to allow your kids to do. There is nothing wrong with you working. Secondly though, that is how you feel and how you want it and since you and him do not agree with that, you will have to sit down and come up with a compromise. I think your working part time is a great idea when the kids go to school. This is something to be discussed with him. But if you can nto come to a compromise, then you guys are not right for one another. Those will be your kids lives that you are talking about.
2006-12-13 08:53:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
i was a single mother with my 2 older boys for 4 years i worked full time and they were at a sitter then i met my husband and he gave me the choice of working or staying home. I worked for a while then when we had the third boy i was home and within a month i noticed a huge change in my older kids with their behavior and their progress in school. We have now decided it is best for the kids for me to be home full time. I think if you can't come to an agreement on this issue that there is no way you should get amrried it is a huge issue and you should be allowed to raise the kids if you want. And by the way just because you are a stay at home mom in no way means you are lazy I am ALWAYS very busy
2006-12-13 10:50:14 · answer #2 · answered by tychdyboys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first you two have about 2 years to settle this.
I was a stay at home mom for years and I enjoyed the time I spent with my son. As he grew I realized that he needed to be around other children as well as I needed to be around other adults. What I did was get a job in a daycare so I could have the best of both worlds. My suggestion is to get a part time job and let the grandmother enjoy her grandchildren too. Don't be selfish. Share the wealth. ( My mom was not living close and they both missed the bonding.)
2006-12-13 09:16:18 · answer #3 · answered by kellyfl59 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one...Beinga stay at home mom is a full time job.
Grant it that doesn't bring in money but then again you will know what they have been taught and what kind of atmosphere they are around.
I have two children and wish that I could be a stay at home mom. I have been working since I had both my children and know that i have missed alot.
Good Luck!
2006-12-13 08:55:45 · answer #4 · answered by Boo8081 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand You don't need to work & I understand that You want to raise your children. With that said I believe you shouldn't go to work. Your husband probably wasn't raised the old fashioned way of thinking. Even if you aren't lazy I think working part time is ok if it avoids causing major problems and stress in the household. If I had someone I trusted to watch my baby I would do so but that is only beacuse we need the money.
2006-12-13 08:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by Angelina P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He lives in the real world But your priorities r right wats the point in having children if u cant watch them grow.
2006-12-13 09:13:19 · answer #6 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋