How long should I keep up this Lie?

Question

My six year old son is very smart. He often asks hard to answer open ended questions. He, at the age of 5, got me to confess that there was no tooth fairy! So I was wondering if I should just stop the lying and tell him the truth about Santa. I mean how bad can it corrupt him? WOuldn't it be worse if he found out from another source that we have been lying all these years?

Answer 1

I don't think it would corrupt him to know about Santa or to believe in Santa either. I think "lying" about Santa isn't such a bad thing because it really helps young children enjoy the Christmas time. You could tell him, but why do you feel you should? If he comes to you and asks then answer truthfully. I think my son knows the truth but just plays along because it's fun. There's no harm in it. I think children don't really look at it as lying. I've never once heard a child say "Why did you lie to me all these years????!!!" Not once and I have four kids. They usually just take it in stride. It's so magical to see their little faces light up at the thought of Santa. But you should do what you feel is right. Nobody here can really tell you the right answer. You know your child and we don't.

Answer 2

I believe there is a difference between a lie and between keeping a myth alive. I just had this discussion with a coworker of mine. Her son is 12 and still believes and she didn't know if it was a bad thing. I don't think so. If he hears there is no Santa from someone else, then so what. That's going to happen about EVERYTHING in life. I believe having faith in Santa and believing in something as innocent as Santa is a very healthy and good thing for a child.

When he is 10 or 12 and really is questioning, maybe tell him then. But I will never forget something my dad told me years ago (I was a teenager)....

Santa doesn't have to be a fat guy in a big red suit. He could be your mother, your father, a neighbor... anyone that does something good for you. Santa is more a state of being than a physical person.

I truly believe that. You play Santa to your little boy and he loves it, I'm sure. And someday he is going to love being Santa for his children. It's the same feeling you get when you give to a charity or buy toys for a child less fortunate. You are their Santa... and I think that's all that matters.

Answer 3

You have several Options:

Being the good guy ---

1)Let your child be a child and let his imagination run wild, let him be happy
2)Letting your child believe in the "myths" could actually boot your child imagination --- helping him in visualizing strategies and as well as painting, drawing, and storytelling with emotion in his speech
3)Let your child have faith and hope in that certain "something" that will always be there for he can as well look up to when everything feels out of place


Being the bad guy ----

1)You tell your son there is no "Santa" so as he gets older he'll never get discourage to ask other questions --- if not he'll probably lose faith in you when he finds out on his own
2)If you don't tell --- he'll probably think you'll lie with everything he asks and will stop all together

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*Note: I used to believe in Santa when I was young and when I found out there was none, I was really upset, discouraged, and dissapointed in my mother and father ---- it's better to just tell him all together for the other kids might make fun of him

Also: You say quote, "My six year old son is very smart."

--- he probably knows already there isn't a real "Santa" depending on the fact you told him that the "toothfairy" doesn't exsist.

Answer 4

If your son is as smart as you say he is then he will understand why you said theres a Santa Claus. He'll undertsand that it was to make Christmas that much more magical. Once kids start not believing in things like that they are forced to grow up. Plus I'm sure he'd tell the other kids in school and thier parents wouldn't be too happy about it.

Answer 5

Santa is not a lie. Besides by second grade most kids figure it out on their own. They basically outgrow the "myth". It won't be as devestating as you make it out to be, other than for you because that will be a hint that your child's imagination is depleting and all of the wonder and adventure that used to be will no longer be wonderful and adventerous. It will be the time your son starts to grow up.

Answer 6

First of all you shouldn't be lying to your child... I mean, how would you feel, if ever down the road something very totally bad happen... and you want him to confess to you... but all he can do is Lie to you? you wouldn't want that would you?

Always be very open and honest with your kids...

Because kids watch's what parents do and then they'll think that it's a positive thing to do.. when really it's negative...

Be a good parent and do whats right... for your childs future...

Answer 7

Why don't you wait until he asks you? By the time he asks flat out if Santa is real or not, he probably has a pretty good idea that it's false. Millions of children have been told about Santa, and found out he isn't real, and they have all survived.

Answer 8

Let him continue to be a child, and he will find out eventually, as all of us did. He will let you know if he wants to know the truth about Santa Claus.

Anyway, in many ways there really is a Santa Claus.

Answer 9

I recently read a great article in Parents magazine about how the tell you children (when they question) that there is no Santa Claus. It sited about three different scenarios, but the one I found most interesting is to explain to a child that Santa Claus is a "symbol" of Christmas, just like a tree, manger, etc...that he isn't "real" or "fake" but rather a representation of the giving spirit.

Answer 10

You do that, you might as well tell him about the Easter Bunny and tooth fairy. Just keep on with the fairy tale and let you son be a kid. He will find out on his own when the time is right.