A family friend has secondary cancer and has refused treatment!?

Question

He had prostate cancer and was treated 6 years ago, it came back his blood tests showed a high level of indicator [sorry can't remember its name]. He is in his 70's and found his initial chemo debilitating. He decided not to have a second course. He is still alive and pretty much living a normal life! If you have secondary's is it better to have treatment or take the gamble? Obviously in his case it paid off, My Mum died within months from having treatment for secondary's and suffered alot. What is your experience. Please let me know as I have a 1 in 8 chance of suffering the same fate. Mum had primary ovarian cancer and whilst being treated for secondary's she developed primary Breast cancer unrelated to the Ovarian cancer. It was questioned had the chemo caused cell damage causing the new second cancer. Thanks and God Bless anybody being treated right now. xxx

Texas T please tell me more!

Answer 1

I have had chemo. and I have to say its pretty traumatic. I fortunately didn't lose my hair but I felt very sick and extremely exhausted. Unfortunately as I have secondaries in my lungs I have to start a new course of chemo in the new year. I was 48 when diagnosed and had two very long complicated operations. They gave me 6-12 months. Here I am over two years later and although I am now 50, I still feel young and my kids are in their early twenties and still living at home. I have a wonderfully supportive husband and fantastic friends and I WANT TO LIVE. If I was your friends age I may feel differently and think, well I've lived my life, what will be will be. But I feel for myself that I should grasp ANY opportunity to prolong my life. My doctors are THE best anyone could wish for and are very encouraging. As much as I DONT want the chemo, I definitely DONT want the alternative.
Where theres life theres hope and I am hoping some miracle cure will come and it won't be too late for me.
Take no notice of any 'miracle' cures that are on the web, believe me, my doctors know of NO miracles yet.
I'm told to keep positive, live my life as best as I can and try to live each day as if its my last.
Hopefully I'll live to see my second child graduate in 2008 and to see both kids settled down with partners with kids of their own. That alone makes me battle on.
But everyone is different and the choice has to be a personal one.
I hope anyone out there who has cancer and reads this, the very best of luck with their treatments and look forward to a happy 2007.
xxxxxxx

Answer 2

my sister-in-law was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer about six weeks ago! She was told that she had roughly eight weeks to live! She has refused treatment as she still feels well, and wants to spend her time being capable of enjoying her family and not being ill with the chemo. Chemo does slow down the process of cancer,and if all goes well slows it down enough to put you in remission! She is doing very well, watching her diet and seeing a homeopath ... and is due for another check up soon. Her way of thinking is, the cancer has got her ... there is no way out ... so she reckons it's better to live it to the best of your ability, rather than loose her hair, feel ill and have everyone sitting around her bedside waiting! Some cancers are caught in the early stages, which are treated effectively .. but I think once you have reached the 'no go' time ... just live as best you can. There are health alternatives to modern medicine ...and sometimes people make miraculous recoveries through these channels. Usuall a change of diet, environment etc. You might find it of interest to look up a homeopath and just see what they offer as alternative treatments. It up to each person I believe,but I don't think I would opt for chemo! I wish your friend lots of health, and sincerely hope you have many years ahead of good health too. Take care.

Answer 3

This is where research, soul searching, age, overall health and choice come into play. My sister in law had advanced breast cancer and made the choice not to pursue any treatment at all. She was relatively young at 56 but had lived a wonderful and full life, had four adult children (all happily married) ten grandchildren, my brother had retired very young and they had traveled the world together. She just did not want to go through treatment that might not even work for her. She lived a year and passed away peacefully with my brother at her side. That was her choice.

My son on the other hand was 17 years old. He has not even had a chance to really live. At diagnosis he was a stage IV with widespred disease. He chose to fight and has done very well. We are still gambling and taking every chance we can get to give him his life.

My parents also have stage 1 melanoma. My mother elected to only have her melanoma scraped on a regular basis rather than undergoing disfiguring surgery or other treatment. Those are all choices based on what is best for them.

Not really an easy choice to make. But I do think that every chance possible must be given to the younger cancer patients to not only survive but to thrive.

Answer 4

I was diagnosed with bowel cancer and had surgery in 2002 and chemotherapy for 6 months till February 2003. Despite scans and ultrasounds and good monitoring [paid for privately because my hospital never scanned me at all] a routine scan in September 2005 revealed the cancer had come back in both my lungs [multiple small tumours] and my liver [1 about 4.5 cms] I went on a trial and another 6 months of chemo from November 2005 - June 2006. I had a break and a scan in September showed a few more tiny tumours in my lungs, so I started another 6 months course in October.

I've had all kinds of side effects but learnt how to prevent them and solve them. Sometimes I have hair, in June I had none, but now after 12 weeks I still have lots, although it's not my colour!!

When they tell me the chemo is wrecking all my other organs and they don't want to give me more I have two alternative set up and ready to go. I know both work, because I know people who have been cured of terminal cancer.

1. Apricot Kernels and B17 Enzimes http://www.kernelpower.co.uk

2. Dr Budweig's Diet: Flaxseed Oil mixed with Yoghourt and runny honey.

You can search for both these. I'm having a good life because I have a very funny family who make me laugh - they tell me 'cancer isn't an illness it's a condition like pregnancy - just that the lumps are in the wrong place and don't want to come out!' I've had two Deep Vein Thrombosissssssis which gave me blood clots in my lungs [pulmonary embolism] so now I've been trained to give myself an injection in my stomach every day to keep my blood thin. DVTs are also a side effect of chemotherapy in some people.

I'm now Stage 4 and have a 3% chance of surviving and whilst there is a 3% there must be people in that % and I've decided I'm going to be one of them. I have chemo every 2 weeks and the more I ignore it, the less it affects me. I was 67 in November and I plan to be 68 in November 2007. I have already survived bowel cancer for at least 7 years!

Mind over matter is powerful and positive attitudes are mind blowing! Peace and Love to all at Christmas xx

Answer 5

You really haven't given enough info to receive any accurate answers. Does he just have an increased PSA level, a second prostate tumor or distant metastasis from the original tumor? Any of these situations would mean very different answers to your questions.

Also, sorry but your mother's experience with breast cancer really doesn't apply to your friend's prostate cancer other than both people had cancer.

There are numerous non-chemo treatments available for prostate cancer that are painless - like radioactive seeding for example. Cancer treatments are changing all the time so your friend's experiences of six years ago are old history unless his Dr is wanting to repeat the exact same chemo and this is highly unlikely.

Yahoo answers is full of people selling quack remedies to desperate people so be very careful about buying false hope based on anecdotes. If there was a magic bullet treatment for cancer you would see it on CNN and not Yahoo answers.

good luck to your friend

Answer 6

Do you mean recurring cancer? Usually if you say secondary, you are referring to cancer that has spread from its primary site. Everyone must consider the potential for cure compared with the amount of suffering treatment will cause. Age influences opinion a lot. Doctors often encourage young people (like your mom, probably) to undergo painful treatments even when they are no likely to work because of the fact that they are young. However, I've noticed that oncologists are a lot more supportive of elderly people who choose to forego treatment. I suppose it easier for the health care professional if we can justify "he has had a good life". You just need to be super vigilant and make sure you get yearly pelvic exams and mammograms if you are middle aged or older. Early detection will save your life because treatment is often more successful if the cancer can be identified early.

Answer 7

For many, chemotherapy is a much worse fate than cancer, especially since he has gone through treatment once before. Sometimes it is better to live it out - just trying to enjoy the day to day without the burden of worrying about the next treatment, what the doctor will say, how concerned his family must be. It sounds like your friend is a strong man, I would try to just enjoy the time you have with him, and make sure he knows how much you care! Best Wishes to your friend, and to you as well!

Answer 8

I've heard that most prostate cancers progress very slowly, and can take years to spread. Maybe this is a factor, if he's in his 70's, he'd want to not be drained by further treatment, and by the time the cancer spread (hopefully) he'd be quite elderly and would have lived several, normal years.
Sorry to hear your mother had health problems, and I hope this person does well, even without treatment.

Answer 9

From what you say your family friend has recurring cancer not secondary.
But, never the less he has a choice to the treatment he does or doesn't receive.
As he has already had chemotherapy he will know what to expect. He is also in his 70's and would like to live what he has of his time in relative peace.
Chemo is disrupting and painful.
Would you rather see him enjoy 18 months of life or endure those same 18 months with 9 months spent ill and trying to recover from the effects of chemo?
I know it is hard but, all you can do is support your friend and support his choices.
Good Luck.

Answer 10

My boss' father is 79 and has been living with prostate cancer untreated for over 8 years now. It is a slow-growing variety, so the docs have taken the wait & watch route for the time being. Aside from being eldery and having other health problems unrelated to the cancer, he's fine. I think your friend needs to discuss ALL of his options with his oncologist.

As for yourself, just be sure to make regular appointments for your checkups, get seen as soon as anything seems out of sorts, and be sure to make every doctor aware of your family history and your personal concerns.

Best wishes....