ok, here's whats going one.
my boyfriend is great. i just want to start by saying that. he's not a bad guy and he's allmost perfect. but lately, we've just been fighting almost every day. he thinks i flirt a lot w/his best friend, and, ok, i kinda do, but i have toned it down A LOT and we dont' mean anything whatsoever by it and he knows that. also, he keeps hearing that i'm going to dump him from random people ( i don't even know who because he won't tell me). we keep working it out but i don't want this to keep happening. i just want to solve it once and for all! i really really really like him and i don't wanna lose him.
2006-12-13 08:05:29 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay the truth is, if you do like him a lot, you're going to change for him, especially if he has a legitimate reason for asking that you do so.
Honestly, how would you feel if your best friend and boyfriend were flirting? It doesn't matter that you've toned it down a lot - to him you're still flirting too much. So therefore, just stop flirting with any other guys. If you can't do that, then don't get a boyfriend in the first place.
Plus, if you're flirting with his best friend it's no wonder there are rumors spreading around that you're going to dump him. It's also no wonder that he is starting to believe them! Therefore, if all your fights are started because of your flirting, it's not that hard to stop them. Just stop your flirting.
Your boyfriend obviously likes you a lot because if I was him, I would've dumped your sorry *** a long time ago. Don't take advantage of him, especially if you insist that you "really really really like him".
If you like this guy and you tell him that, let your actions speak louder than your words - stop your flirting.
2006-12-13 08:12:20 · answer #1 · answered by Basiate 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Toned it down a lot or completely stopped?!! If you haven't completely stopped flirting with other guys then of course there will be rumors you are going to dump him. You need to sit him down, apologize for the flirting, and let him know no matter what people say you are not going to dump him and you want the relationship to work. Then quit flirting with other guys!!!! To many men flirting is just as bad as cheating!
I've seen this before so act ASAP. If he is already fighting with you all the time chances are he is fighting with you because HE wants out of the relationship.
2006-12-13 08:11:58 · answer #2 · answered by SL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he's not hearing anything. My guess is he's making up the rumors. he's insecure for good reason. So if he tells you he hears you're tossing him he gets your reassurance - he feels better.
He needs the reassurance because you're flirting. You are flirting with his friend. A real no-no. If you cut the flirting I promise the "rumors" will stop - as will the arguments.
This one is in your hands sister. I understand you think it's harmless. I'm sure you never meant to hurt. But you are embarrassing him. Putting stress between him and his friend.
Be someone he can be proud of. Be his and his alone. He's insecure in his relationship because you are helping him to feel this way. Help him feel secure. You can do this. Show him how much you care by NEVER showing his friend more than polite attention and all of this will resolve itself.
I'm right about this one.
2006-12-13 08:19:05 · answer #3 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the right guy will come at the right time. trust me you're not alone.. i'm 15 and go to what you would call a "normal high school" and the most popular girl in our freshman class hasn't had a boyfriend in almost 2 years. i've only had one before that only lasted for like 2 months.. most girls are in the same boat as you are, don't stress over it too much.
2016-05-23 20:16:28 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I know what you mean. My boyfriend is almost 19 and in Iraq right now and gets jealous VERY easily...I hang out with alot of guys friends all the time and he STRESSES out constantly about it. I flirt alot without meaning anything more than just playing around. You just have to show him that you love him and no one else. I got drunk at party and wound up having sex with a long-time guy friend of mine and it just sort of happened. I learnt a very hard lesson and told him about it straight up and now we're patching things up after a break. So I understand about what you're saying. It'll take some time untill this clears out for you so just be patient and prove to eachother that you're sticking together.
2006-12-13 08:16:43 · answer #5 · answered by Alyssa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to stop flirting with his friend! If you care about his feelings you will not just tone it down...you will stop. It's rude to flirt with others while in a relationship!!! ~be considerate!
Is this the only issue to the fighting? If so, the fighting should stop if you fix the flirting problem! If you like him than treat him like he is the only one that you want!
2006-12-13 08:10:25 · answer #6 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's probably his friend that wants to get with you telling him your going to dump him.
don't talk to his friend at all, get your own. try to avoid seeing him at all, even when your with your boyfriend.
when your fighting, listen to what he's saying, and ask what his reasons are. then tell him what your reasons for your idea is. If your argueing about personal preferences, go do your own thing without him. if your arguing about money, get your own and make him spend any he doesnt want to. If he does want to spend money on you, let him. it's rude and really insulting to reject a gift. tell him to surprise you, instead of asking your opinion all the time. and you dont need to ask his opinion on everything or give yours.
do what you guys first did when you stared going out. figure out what attracted him to you and strengthen that.
let him know you want to stay with him, and your doing things because you want to get along, if you don't, he'll think your getting making yourself look nice for someone else. (you could also make yourself look homely and say "oh, i'm so lucky to have you") haha.
2006-12-13 08:13:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down face to face and talk to him. Get out in the open any underlying problems you may have. Tell him that you are not planning on breaking up with him and that people are getting ridiculous ideas and that he should listen to you and not them. Also apologize for flirting with his best friend. Even if it is harmless, he needs to know that you like him, not his best friend.
2006-12-13 08:08:46 · answer #8 · answered by heathermcdavis19 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop flirting with his friend. But chances are, he will still be upset with you. You should dump your boyfriend. And start dating his best friend. There ya go, problem solved. Whats for dinner?
2006-12-13 08:11:56 · answer #9 · answered by iwilwinthisyear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well tell him that he needs to trust you and listen you and not listen to other people when it comes to the realtionship thats how things can turn sour in a relationship listening to what everyone else is saying and not saying or listening to eachother tell him that you love him and your not gunna leave him. He should trust you unless he is secretly feeling gulity about something he has done is doing....believe me that happens i've had it done to me you'll start fighting for no reason over stupid things all because they are trying to find away to push you away from them but yea hopefully thats not it and he is just worried so sit him down and talk to him.
2006-12-13 08:13:22 · answer #10 · answered by Aronda L 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋