My mother's first husband was killed when they were very young in a tragic motorcycle accident. My mother in law has developed a fascination with harley motorcycles. We are expecting our first child, and know from experience with our niece/nephew that she will purchase harley stuff for them. I think that seeing my child in these garments would really upset my mom, plus I don't really like them, either. My husband says it's tacky to tell his mom this. What do you think?
2006-12-13 07:53:20 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I don't think it would be wrong to approach her if you do it from the perspective of how it would make you and your mom feel. Don't mention that you don't really like it. If she doesn't listen, let it drop. Don't dress the baby in Harley gear except when your mother-in-law will be around but your mom won't.
2006-12-13 07:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell your mother in law that you appreciate her buying your child the clothes. Then explain to her while you like the clothes, Harley garmets and items are a sensitive topic around your mom with the young death of her first husband. You don't have to go into long details of the story, but just the basic reason that shows why the clothes aren't the best around your mother. After you saying this she should completely understand and not expect your child to completely flaunt the new motorcycle wardrobe.
I'm sorry but I sort of find it insensitive for your husband to think it's tacky. It's tacky if you tell your mother in law that you don't like the curtains in the family room. Or to something of that nature. It is CERTAINLY NOT tacky to tell your mother in law that your mom is sensitive due to her husbands death. Your husband should not in the least bit think that it is "tacky" to say that. And I would suggest go right ahead and delicately tell your mother in law. And perhaps explain to your husband how he should be supporting you. But in the end think how all you want to do is the best for your mother by causing her the least amount of pain, and your family, mother in law and HUSBAND, should understand that and respect that.
I hope this helps. I wish you the best of luck in your decision.
2006-12-13 08:12:35 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would explain your situation to your in-laws about what happened in the past and be honest about your feelings. If they still end up buying you the harley stuff, I would only put it on your child when the in-laws around, and any other time you don't have to... plus, they grow so fast- maybe your baby would only wear it once? You could tell the in-laws things you absolutely need, and yea, sometimes ppl get extra, but point out clothing you like? Not sure if that would help... but if you really have to, tell her not to get the harley stuff for your baby. I don't think it's tacky- if it's something you don't like, you can always speak your mind in a way without hurting feelings. Luckily, I haven't had any problems like that with people buying stuff for our son. But do know they grow really fast- we skipped newborn clothing all together because our son weighed 9lbs 10oz at birth! And the 0-3 month clothing he was only in for maybe a week! lol
Goodluck, don't be afraid to speak your mind if you need to.
2006-12-13 08:01:01 · answer #3 · answered by m930 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't say anything yet. You would be presuming that she will buy gifts of that nature. Also she may lose interest in Motorcycles as time goes by. But on the occasion that she gives your child a motorcycle inspired gift then tell her. How you know she is a caring and considerate person who would never want to hurt your mom's feelings so you're sure she understands why you can't accept that particular gift. If You tell her how gracious she is in her acceptance of your refusal she can't very well get upset. Also your husband needs to back you up. It's in the job description.
2006-12-13 08:17:32 · answer #4 · answered by flfox 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I suggest, not putting the clothes or Harley items out when your mom is around. You can not block your mom from everything all the time. I know it sounds harsh but honestly it is not meant that way but it is the truth. I agree with your husband on this one, Maybe not the word tacky, but more like well. If she is buying the baby something you don't like, just put it away and take it out when she is around. Sometimes humoring people is a lot easier then offending them and causing bad blood.
2006-12-13 07:58:06 · answer #5 · answered by Issym 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its your child and there should be no hurt feelings in a situation that is sensitive like this ... there are other outfits they can buy for the baby. Its in no way "tacky." You're all family now and part of being a family is communication. I don't see why they wouldnt understand your reasoning for not dressing your child in motorcycle clothing.
2006-12-13 08:09:04 · answer #6 · answered by Monica B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is something that you need to discuss with your mother. My mother buys my children "Washington Redskin" stuff, but I can't stand that team. We need to respect our parent's wishes. This doesn't mean you have to wear the Harley stuff on them all the time, just do it when the grandmother is around. You also need to realize that she isn't buying your children a motorcycle and there is nothing wrong with the franchise items. Maybe this is an issue you need to take up with your mother. I don't think your mom would have a big as problem as you think with this. Thank you and good luck.
2006-12-13 08:04:02 · answer #7 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I would consider your mothers feelings over what your husband feels is "tacky". Would you rather want your mother upset, or your husband think you made a "tacky" comment to your mother in-law. I'm sure your in-law would appreciate that you told her about that.
2006-12-13 09:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by Heather 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband should talk to his mom about this, privately. She probably doesn't understand your family history and feelings.
If she does give the kids Harley clothes, quietly donate them to charity or remove the logos. Don't make a fuss, though. She doesn't mean any harm.
2006-12-13 08:00:10 · answer #9 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Let Grandma buy whatever she wants. It doesn't mean that you have to let the baby wear the clothes around your mother. You could mention the incident in a nice way to your mother in law, and explain that the baby will not be wearing the clothes around your mother. Maybe suggest that she keep the clothes at her house so when the baby comes to visit, you won't have to pack so much baby gear.
2006-12-13 07:58:07 · answer #10 · answered by tinkerbell24 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋