Do I need to be suspicious of my girlfriend cheating or am I being insecure and overreacting?

Question

Last week my girlfriend made plans to meet up with a family friend from home who happened to be visiting. I was notified of the get together but she never told him that she had a boyfriend. they had hooked up about a year and a half ago. Supposively there were no feelings for each other. So when they made plans I believe that he thought he was going to get something out of the date. I decided to come back to town a day early and go out with them. It was then that she contacted friends to come out and meet up with. She claims that she did this to make me feel more comfortable. I was thinking it was to cover up the date since he had no idea I was even coming out. He was not very interested in conversating with me. We went home then and discussed it. She said she didnt know why he acted so cold and that she had no intentions. he then sent a text saying "This is terrible." She never texted him back to find out what he meant. She also said she didnt have an opportunity to tell him of me?

Answer 1

sounds as if you're buying the chocolates my friend.and hes been .... her. sorry you're not being paranoid, they are a devious bunch.

Answer 2

How is your relationship with your girlfriend? Is it good, are you both happy? More importantly, do you know that you are both happy?

I can understand why you are worried, & possibly feeling the way you are. However has it occured to you that he may of had a hidden agenda, & your girlfriend didn't know?


I think you to sit down with your girlfriend & talk about it calmly. Don't accuse her of anything, but just tell what you are feeling?
I'm sure once you have both discussed this with each other, you will both be happier & more aware of each others feelings.

Answer 3

I don't know your girlfriend, but given these details, it does sound like you may be justified in having trust issues. There are a whole lot of strange, unexplainable variables at work here.

While it's good you can maintain open conversation, I think you may be getting a slanted version of the truth from her. She seems to be having a lot to explain, and none of her explanations seem to hold water.

My advice is simply keep your eyes open and play it smart. This all may be perfectly innocent, so you don't want to jump to conclusions. Just be aware of future inconsistencies in her behavior.

I wish you all the best.

Blessings,
JustanAngel

Answer 4

well, from my experience everyone needs their privacy. i would be pissed if a gf was reading my texts, just as im sure she would be pissed if i was reading her. now, in all fairness, there shouldn't be a problem with it in either case if neither one of you has something to hide, but again there is the issue of boundaries. once one party takes the initiative to go through their significant others phone messages behind their back, a sense of trust is broken...for both parties. you may find something you won't like, you may not. timing is key in everything, as well as having a partner that is faithful, and you yourself being faithful. Is she giving you reason to suspect that she's cheating...well take it upon yourself to do what you need to do, but be advised of the consequences of what you might find out. My girlfriend that i lived with of 3 years, who i never suspected anything wrong of before, nor had i ever had any inclination to go through her stuff, one day gave me a reason to. I looked at the texts in her phone one night, just so happens i was right, she was cheating.

Answer 5

oooooo....... something doesn't sound quite right........ not sure if your girlfriend is actually cheating on you, but it sounds as though the other guy may have feelings for your girlfriend. it also worries me that she seems rather protective of him - and i don't believe for one minute that she didn't have chance to tell him about u. all you can do is sit her down and tell her just how worried u are about all of this. tell her that u love her, and explain to her just how worried u are by all of this. say that u really want to trust her, but ask her how she would feel if the situation was reversed, and it was u that was meeting up with someone else. if she reacts badly to this kind of conversation, then i would seriously doubt that this relationship is going to last long term. if she loves you, she should understand your worries and do her best to make things right between the two of u again. hope this all turns out for the best...... but sometimes the best means moving on with your life. u deserve to be with someone who u can trust, and who loves u for who u are.

Answer 6

Yeah that is really suspicious. Its really going to come down to you and your girlfriend though. How much you trust her, etc. I would continue to talk to her but, yeah- Even from a girls perspective that is kinda strange.

Answer 7

well somethings up isnt it?

however im not sure we can conclude its cheating.... yet.....

yeah he may have had other intentions.... and she may have led him on having liked the attention.....

everyones done it to a certain degree... we wouldnt be human if we didnt.

however, the text is odd.... why didnt she text him back to find out what it meant?

i would ask her to text him and see what she says.....

Answer 8

Sounds fishy to me. I would imagine he is saying this is terrible because you caught on to it and now she cant see him alone. Just a guess.

Answer 9

after that you should be suspicious, because you don't know what she is doing behind your back.

Answer 10

well just let her do her thing, if she wants this other guy then let her go. why work hard if she is not interested, move on.