It all started when my new neighbor moved in a couple weeks ago. At first everything was quiet, but now every night for the past week or so I've been hearing awful noises coming through the wall.
At first it sounded as if he was beating a small child, because I'd hear wimpering and crying, but last night I put a stethescope up to the wall and realized that wasn't the case. I think he is masturbating violently, possibly using whips to lash himself or have a quiet partner lash him, or autoerotic asphyxiation, etc. I'm not sure. After he is done (which is punctuated by a strange coo-ing noice) he sits in his bed and cries for a while.
Now I've not no problem with what people do in the privacy of their own homes, but I feel he should respect my right to sleep without hearing him pleasure himself.
How can I tell my neighbor to keep it quiet without causing a lot of embarrassment and hostility? He's got at least a year lease, so I'd like to nip this one early on.
2006-12-13 07:31:35 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'd probably give him the benefit of the doubt that he does not realize that you can hear him.
I would say something like ",I can't believe how thin the walls are. You know, I can hear all kinds of conversations and things coming from your house and I am just wondering if you can hear them from mine, too?" (No need to go into any detail of what you heard, what it sounded like.... keep it superficial.)
He'll probably say "no", then you say, "well if you ever can, would you let me know because I don't want to disturb you... I want to be a good neighbor" (say with a smile).
It's a fairly subtle way to let him know that you can hear him, and
that you want to get along with your neighbors (and smart people ALWAYS want to get along with the neighbors!), and that you consider good neighbors as considerate ones. He SHOULD get your point.
I would start and end my conversation with some kind of small talk, like ask him how he likes the neighborhood, the parking situation, the weather, the roads, some mall, Christmas shopping, whatever. Make it a light conversation and he'll get your point without feeling too "accused".
If for some reason, he's a clod and still doesn't get it, talk to him again another day.... same kind of talk, still nice and really friendly. I'd be surprised if he needs a 2nd talk though....
I've found that in most awkward situations giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, treating them like I would want someone to bring it to me (softly and kindly) and just being matter of fact but friendly about it usually gets the point across with the best results.
Learned that technique from a girl I used to work with that was a MASTER at it.... I don't have too many original ideas, but I can sure copy someone else's good ones when I see it :P
Take care and good luck.
Mary
2006-12-13 07:56:08 · answer #1 · answered by Mary K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to have a neighbor who would answer all the questions on "Jeopardy." I could hear everything he said. Still, this was better than his electric guitar at midnight.
Try chatting him up about some other thing in the building, then casually say something like, "aren't these walls thin? I hope my tv/radio/singing/barking dog/hairdryer doesn't disturb you." Or you say something like "boy my neighbor (on the other side of you) sure is noisy! I can hear everything he says and does! Is your neighbor noisy, too?" Maybe he'll get the hint.
Another option would be to find something to mask the sound, like a fan or white noise machine.
The best solution is to talk to him about splitting the cost of adding sound-proofing, if that is an option.
On the up-side, he'll probably die from asphyxiation before your lease is up.
2006-12-13 07:42:40 · answer #2 · answered by chieromancer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was in that situation I think I would knock on his door during the "moment of activity" and act really concerned like I thought he was getting attacked. Hopefully that will be enough to let him know you can hear him and he'll keep it down in the future. If he doesn't than you're probably going to have to call the authorities whether that be a landlord or the police.
2006-12-13 07:46:36 · answer #3 · answered by CA DIVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I dont think there is any "nice" way to put it. Try writing him a letter and if that doesnt work contact your lanlord or the police. There is a noise oridinance in most cities around 10pm.
2006-12-13 07:40:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, make you own noise. Maybe he will figure "if i can hear her maybe she can hear me" and if that dont work then just go over there and ask him nicely and if that dont work take a baseball bat to his car windows.
2006-12-13 07:45:17 · answer #5 · answered by rock 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bop him on the head with a mallet and if that doesn't work, drop an anvil on him.
2006-12-13 07:43:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just go ask him if you can be included....instead of enjoying it through the wall.
2006-12-13 07:42:26 · answer #7 · answered by Blondie B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
put an anonymous not in his door or mailbox
2006-12-13 07:45:02 · answer #8 · answered by Pam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a big problem.....
2006-12-13 07:34:58 · answer #9 · answered by beauty mirna 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋