my bf and I have a son together and we broke up before my son was 1 years old and has been 3 years and we just got back together and my son is 4 now and we have remained friends always but I want to get married to him not right a way in the next 2 years but he never talks about it to me see this was a problem before for me I want to marry him I love him so should I tell him that I want to get married or let it go I do not want my son confused because we live together help what to do and if he does not want to marry me then I'll be hurt..
2006-12-13 07:16:58 · 11 answers · asked by kutiepye28 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just wabt to say that I'm not trying to pressure him in anyway at all I love him very much and would never to that to him I just wanted to see what to do because at some point I want to marry him and I just want make sure my son and I do not get hurt out that is all because he walked out once he could do this again and I do not want people thinking I want to marry him for the reason of thinking that he will stay if we are married because that is not true I love him he is my one my soul mate my best friend as well so anyone outthere who can understand or help me out I would be so gratful your answers were helpful but need to know how to handle this...
2006-12-15 08:46:44 · update #1
Before you talk to him about it you need to ask yourself: why do you really want to marry this man- is it because you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him, or is it because you just want to be married. What you have to understand is that marriage is a big step and should be done for the right reasons. I can understand why you don't want your son to feel confused about your living situation, but I think that you need to re-evaluate it and come up with various solutions. You should talk to him about how you feel, let him know that you love him and tell him that you want to get married. Sometimes when a man is 'comfortable' he won't take step to change anything, but if he knew how you felt then it'd be up to him to decide what he wants to do.
2006-12-13 07:25:41 · answer #1 · answered by moks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, well first off, your son does not even understand the concept of marriage at his age, but what he does understand is that his mom and dad are together and happy and that is all that really matters.Don't worry so much about the technical aspect of things.Worry more about keeping a good relationship with your man for all of you.Marriage does not make a relationship that is good any better.Its just a binding law with a piece of paper that you both sign.And if you are just being concerned of the views of others on raising a kid without being married,than you need to realize it isn't those other people that matter.You have all the time in the world for marriage.In my opinion,I would just wait, it will come to be when it feels like the right time for you both.You just got back together give everything a little time to breath and grow a while.
2006-12-13 15:34:00 · answer #2 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to communicate with him. Let him know what you want. You don't want to pressure him into marrying you just because you guys have a son together. He might feel trapped and just run away. When the time comes, he will know what he needs to do.
Being married or not married doesn' t make a difference to your son. As long as he has his mother and father in his life to guide him, your son will be just fine.
2006-12-13 15:22:39 · answer #3 · answered by The Doctor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your immature! Some guys just arent into marriage, you cant force him into it. When and if he is ready, he will propose. Until then just let it be. If it isnt broken dont try to fix it. Your son has his father there, what the hell does being married have to do with confusing him? He isnt going to say my mom and dad arent married, man im gonna be messed up in the head. GROW UP!
2006-12-13 15:20:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to explain this in full detail to him even if in an email or letter and explain all of your thoughts and concerns including about your little darling because his best interests should be the first at hand and noone elses. Let me know if you need anymore help. I have 2 children who are fatherless as of now but I am "taken" while single if you can understand this lol
2006-12-13 15:21:03 · answer #5 · answered by crysblood20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you need to tell him how you are feeling! If you do not, you might loose the best thing that you have. He just might be waiting on you to say something, or feeling like you are but to afraid to cross that line. The line of communication needs to be open! No one will ever know how you feel if you never let them know!
2006-12-13 15:23:44 · answer #6 · answered by bigblake_nikeair 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is living with u for such a long time then no doubt he loves u. just its a kind of fear in some people esp guys of taking the responsibility of family but dats no problem. i think u shud go and tell him in simpler words wht u want. i m sure u will get +ve response otherwise there is no future of such relation esp future of ur child...
2006-12-13 15:25:04 · answer #7 · answered by mr. perfect 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
noooooo u cant tell him that cuz he may just get scared and run off. when the time is right if its ment to happen it will dont throw it on him and make him feel rushed cuz he will end up leaving. just take it day by day and dont rush take ur time.
2006-12-13 15:20:02 · answer #8 · answered by LiL MaMa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie you really need to be honest with this man. I know what you know you want and what would be best for your son, but please don't settle when it comes to your happiness. tell him, he should want to breathe every breath that comes from you and you deserve nothing less. good luck and let us know what happens
2006-12-13 15:24:47 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its best u ask him now rather than be waiting 5-10 yrs from now. better to hurt now than invest more time
2006-12-13 15:27:28 · answer #10 · answered by 2b-nice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋