My mother in law is a great woman and I get along with her very well. I only have one problem. She continues to purchase and make dresses and costumes for her without my input. She just came over with a homemade halloween costume this summer. My daughter is 2 and she bought her Christmas dress for this year when she was 3 mths old. They were very ugly and not my taste at all. These are things a mom wants to dress her baby up in.What should I tell her with hurting her feelings?
2006-12-13 07:04:46 · 26 answers · asked by Jamie B 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Just let her give you the stuff. Slap your kid in them when you see one another, or just send her pictures of the child dressed in her creations. As mother in law problems go, you have a pretty minor one.
My mother and my mother in law routinely give our daughter clothes we hate...makes them happy though.
2006-12-13 07:06:33 · answer #1 · answered by alighier 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Be gracious and thank them. Some day when you are older you may actually thank them sincerely. Right now your taste is a younger, more economical style but most of the things you own now will not be something you will end up passing down to your children when you go. Waterford crystal never loses it's value but anything you buy from Pottery Barn, Crate 'n Barrel, etc. loses its value as soon as it leaves their store. Your mother-in-law also knows her son loves the crystal. Why shouldn't he have something in his house that he loves, besides you? I am also an interior designer. Any interior designer "worth her salt" can make anything work in an environment. Having one single style in your home can get boring and outdated pretty quickly. What's trendy today will not be trendy in 5 years. A Waterford glass can make a beautiful vase for flowers, or just a single stem if it's a small glass. Come on, get your creative juices flowing and think of an appropriate way to display this gift. I'm sure your husband will appreciate it. If you really can't think of a way to display the crystal put it away for safe-keeping and continue doing that each time you get a new piece. If anyone asks why you are putting it away tell them you are keeping it safe until you have a complete, full set to use, and that it will be used only for special occasions (like Christmas dinner).
2016-05-23 19:51:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is a great, and painless, idea. A couple days before Christmas or Halloween, dress your child up in the outfit your mother-in-law picked out and take a picture or two with your digital camera. Or better yet, take her to Walmart and get that cheap 4-5 dollar picture set taken of her. Then, for the holiday, give your mother-in-law the picture as a gift.
She probably won't even notice the kid is dressed in what you personally like because she'll be so damned happy you got her such a considerate gift! =3 I always say, don't sweat the small stuff. I wouldn't tell her not to get the clothes anymore if I was you, it's a small thing in the scheme of things, and as I said, there are other ways around it.
2006-12-13 07:08:52 · answer #3 · answered by Rhianna 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think no matter how you handle this, her feelings will probably get hurt.
you can tell her that you really appreciate all she does, and that you think it's great that she cares so much for your daughter. But that you would rather purchase her Halloween costumes and Christmas dresses yourself.
You can add that you always dreamed of being able to do this with your daughter, and you feel like you don't have that chance when she's beating you to it.
Your mother in law will still most likely feel hurt, but it shouldn't last too long if you tell her in a very nice and loving way.
2006-12-13 07:09:00 · answer #4 · answered by Flower 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the good news is that since your daughter is already 2 she should be talking pretty well. By next year she will be al to tell you what she wants to be for halloween and ick out her own christmas dresses. Then she can tell grandma herself that the dresses she made her are ugly and your off the hook! For now, take a pic of her in the outfit, give it to granny and ditch the duds! Or let your daughter eat spagetti in it...lol!
2006-12-13 08:31:47 · answer #5 · answered by Aubrey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let your daughter use the halloween costumes for everyday dress up! She will have a blast.
The dresses can be worn around the house. Or just when Grandma visits.
You are blessed with such a wonderful MIL -- why jeopardize your relationship with her? Whether they are your 'taste' or not, you daughter is bonding with her -- let them be. Back off on this one, you might have a larger fight further down the line. Save your energy for that day.
2006-12-13 07:10:19 · answer #6 · answered by GP 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Buy the dress that you want your daughter to wear. If you want wear the ugly dress to visit Gramma on a Christmas eve or sometime when she won't be wearing it for long. As for Halloween costumes, in about August buy a pattern from somewhere of what you want her to be and ask your mil to make it for her.
2006-12-13 07:13:29 · answer #7 · answered by lmclear4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is reliving the time when she had children that age and didn't do certain things for them.
If today she gives you a Easter Dress, thank her and then say "You know, next year I would like to help you on it. A few months before the event ask her when she wants to get started HELPING YOU get the perfect dress.
When you do work together, you can gradually express your opinion as to styles.
One of my favorite comments is "You know I bet that style was popular 15 or 20 years ago, but these days ALL OF THE LITTLE GIRLS seem to like xxx." I wouldn't want YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER to look out of style, would you?
Keep this up, and she will get the hint.
2006-12-13 07:12:08 · answer #8 · answered by John Hightower 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would dress the child they way I wanted to,I would take her trick or treating in the costume i purchased,or get Christmas pics done in the outfit of my choosing.Then I would change the outfits to when i go visit the mother in law,that way shes happy cause what she doesn't know won't hurt her,and you don't have to walk around w. a geeky looking child!
2006-12-13 07:08:47 · answer #9 · answered by molliehollie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could suggest she make dress-up clothes for your daughter. At 2, she's going to be getting into that. Or maybe you could suggest she make her dolls some clothes. That will keep her busy. If she says something like, "Oh! This will be her Christmas dress!" Just say, "Oh, I was really looking forward to picking out her Christmas dress myself. But this will be a great dress-up dress!" Maybe dress her in the clothes when you go over to her house. No need to use them for special occasions. Just be polite but be very direct that you are going to pick out special occasion outfits.
And, believe me, this lady could save you a fortune on doll clothes, especially once your girl starts getting into Barbie.
Have you considered buying the patterns for clothes you like and giving them to her? Then she'll know what you want her to make but she can have the fun of making it herself. Everybody wins!
Good luck with everything. Sounds like her heart's in the right place.
2006-12-13 07:09:19 · answer #10 · answered by leaptad 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's all well and good to say "take a pic of child in outfit then do a quick change." Most likely MIL is going trick or treating with you. My suggestion is when she say's "I made the most beautiful Easter outfit for the baby" simply say "oh wow MOM that's great but I already have something in mind. But we would love to have it and maybe she can wear it another time". Then get the pic or wear it to Church 1 Sunday. Point is your daughter wont be embarrassed of all her holiday pics and you wont hurt MIL's feeling too much.
2006-12-13 08:00:59 · answer #11 · answered by flfox 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋