I love my boyfriend very much. We have been together a year and about three months. I love him very much. But recently I am always frustrated with him. I just hate how guys half to be guys all the ******* time. In other words, I hate how he has to look at girls other than me all the time, like it is an obesessive compulisve disorder or something. I know that it doesn't mean anything that he loves me and doesn't want them, but it still bothers me alot. Him, one of our mutual guy friends, and I all talked about it one time. My boyfriend and I have been over and over it. So, I guess he wanted me to see a perspective of one of our freinds as well. Our freinds said that, when guys look at porn, it increases how they look at other girls. In other words, instead of just saying, she's hot, like imagine **** alot more often. They both said that if I wanted Dave not to look at porn, he could and it would help a bit. However, I have caught him looking at it about to masterbate to it twice.
2006-12-13 07:03:41 · 8 answers · asked by Green Tea Happy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He tells me he won't but I caught him for the second time last night, and I feel hurt. It's one thing if he tells me he won't stop and does it (which would still bother me). BUT he told me he would, then did anyway. I feel hurt becuase, it just shouts in my face that watching porn is more important than keeping his word. We have a great sex life. He says the only reason he likes to watch it is because I like to make love, rather than be raw *** sexual. What should I do? I have tried recently to be more sexual, like bouncing on him, like he likes, and things like that...I don't know...
2006-12-13 07:07:08 · update #1
hmm..... sounds like he has a problem....idk?
2006-12-13 07:07:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with looking at other people! It's instinct to look at something you find attractive, and most people don't even know they're doing it in everyday life - so by sarcastically suggesting it's 'like obsessive compulsive disorder', you're actually not that far from the truth.
I get your point about him saying he wouldn't look at porn and then doing it anyway, but then again that's something most blokes do, even when they're in a relationship or married. Me and all the friends I know had our first experiences looking at our respective dad's porn - and none of our parents are divorced. If it makes you feel inadequate, then you need to discuss it with him again.
But you need to bear in mind he was probably trying to protect your feelings when he said he wouldn't do it again, and that small point does show he's trying to protect your feelings. However porn IS addictive as he has shown by being caught out twice since.
Solution - if this is a big problem in your relationship, he has to stop it or you have to tolerate it. Otherwise you may have to split up because one or both of you will end up miserable.
2006-12-13 07:18:39 · answer #2 · answered by Swordy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My significant other watches porn often and majority of the time I sit down and watch it with him. Whenever you have an ongoing problem sometimes you have to turn and look at yourself and see what you may be doing wrong. Do you feel insecure when he looks at other females? The situation depends on how he looks at them and what is said. If a nice looking female walks by and he completely turns his body around then that is disrespect to you but if he just looks up and you can tell that he is pleased then who cares. If it is the other way around then I fault you because you have to correct the problem when it occurs and not allow the behavior to continue, if so he is only doing what he can get away with.
2006-12-13 07:10:56 · answer #3 · answered by Swan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you need ot fight fire with fire. If he's out with you and slobbering over other girls, then by god you'd better be looking at other men! You're not blind, and I'm sure you appreciate a good piece of eye candy when you see it. So what if he doesn't like it? You don't like it either do you? And about the porn.....do you ever look at naked guys? If not, then maybe you should start! Why do you think they have Playboy AND Playgirl? Use his own psychology against him. If he has a problem with it, then you know that he's just selfish and jealous. Good luck!
2006-12-13 07:13:26 · answer #4 · answered by spikeyblonde_22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really not a big problem. You should be ok with it at least hes at home watching that mess instead out doing it. Watch the porn with him, he'll like it.
2006-12-13 07:18:19 · answer #5 · answered by Still Standing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if he loved you the way he sed he does then he wudnt be doing all this to hurt you
he shud think more about if u wud get hurt or disspaointed if he did sumtin other then jus doing it witout thinking
i no my boyfriend wud never do that
and dont do more things for him jus to get his attention if he cant accept things how u want them to be and wont listen to you
hes not worth it find soemone that reaches ur standards
2006-12-13 07:12:47 · answer #6 · answered by Lindsey A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're not satisfying him enough if he has to look at porn and fantisizing about other females.
2006-12-13 07:08:38 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, funny thing is why girls are allowed to look at other guys, other then their bf, and us guys r not allowed to look at other girls?
2006-12-13 07:08:19 · answer #8 · answered by Tai Chan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋