is it normal to find your father strapped under your bed violently and shaking it?

Question

Well i woke up up this morning and i thought we were having an earthquake! Then i realised it was only my bed that was moving, i looked under it and saw father strapped up to the undercarriage with elastic bands and Llama phlegm! He was gyrating really fast, i asked what he was doing and he just looked at me, went red, and made a funny hissing sound, ripped off the bands and ran away! I wouldnt of minded but he left a trail of poo and spit! He has done this before but last time he was strapped under my car wearing only knickers! Why do you think he is doing this? Is he being over protective? sent

Answer 1

If you look under your bed really closely, there is a life-sized poster of Cindy Crawford taped to the underside of it with a hole in it for your father to have his wicked way with. He's been feeling neglected lately with Llama being with your mum and has been paying the poster some serious attention. However Llama played a practical joke on him and glued him under there with his phlegm. The shaking was your father trying to escape... Unfortunately your father has problems when it comes to going to the toilet, so that explains the brown stuff!

Answer 2

I believe I know your dad. At least I met someone in a pub not too long ago who told me he intended to do just what you describe. He was experimenting with alcohol and a little white pill that none of us in the pub recognized. To bolster my case for knowing your dad, as soon as he popped the pill and had four or five pints, he started gyrating really fast, let out with some odd sounds and ran off to the loo, He looked kind of like a whirling dervish. When your father is not drinking or experimenting with strange medicinal substances, he talks about you. He is a genuine concerned parent. He is doing these odd things to shock you into a sense of reality. He fears that all the drugs you have experimented with have created an alternate reality that may damage your chances of getting into Oxford. He only means well if this is the same gentleman and should be treated with gratitude and veneration.

Answer 3

How did you know it was Llama phlegm? Did you taste it? Are you familiar with the consistency and appearance of animal phlegm? Did he leave a trail of Llama poo or father poo? Did you taste it? Are you familiar with the consistency and appearance of your father's poo? Just goes to show, Psychiatry is an underpaid profession!!

Answer 4

Well, we would have to define normal; is it normal for most people? Probably not. Is it normal for your father? Well, maybe yes, maybe no. He has done it before, but only once. I'm not sure that two instances establishes a pattern of behavior that could be classified as normal for a particular individual. However, if he does it again, it would seem likely that he will continue to do so, henceforth establishing the actions as "normal" for him.

Answer 5

That's some of the craziest sh!t I've ever heard. If you're being serious, your dad needs to be sent to a mental institution quickly or at least somewhere far away from you. This question is very disturbing...

Answer 6

From reading your postings on Yahoo, I am of the opinion that you possess enough material for an entire psychiatric conference. Happy Christmas.

Answer 7

Over Protective??? He sounds sick?? Nooo it's not normal. You need to call authorities on your Dad. He's really acting strange. He needs to go into a mental ward. If I were you I'd be scared to death of him. Who knows what he'll do next.

Answer 8

Yes, do you not realise that all fathers do this, When he is older he will ask you to buy a jeep as it is easier to crawl under them.

Answer 9

It sounds like he has rabies or really severe mental health issues. You need to make an adult aware of what is happening so that your dad can get some help with whatever is wrong with him.

Answer 10

I think you're making it up. But if it is true your dad needs a psych evaluation and possibly put in a mental institution. Sorry.