i want to move to Ga from fl for work my ex will fight for the child can she win?

Question

i have primary and have had for about 10 years, the mother and daughter dont get along, the fight would pursue just to spite me, my parents live in Georgia, i am self employed as a subcontractor and my business isnt doing well, i have much better opportunities working with my father helping with his business, my daughter is 12 and tells me that she hates her mother and would like it if she never saw her again, every time that she goes there i recieve phone calls from moms husband about how my daughter wont listen to him and its turning his house upside down, so i have to threaten her with punishment knowing how bad she hates it there,and that hes picking on her, My daughter definately wants to be with me, hands down no question, but i cant get an answer from anyone, this happens everyday im sure, whats the outcome does anyone know??? a few particulars child makes good grades has insurance thru me and has resided with me for 10 yrs at same address moms moved a dozen times,no support

Answer 1

I think she should stop being so selfish and let you go. She doesn't want her anyways. She just wants to be a pain in the *** to you and cause you grief. It's not about the girl. I say take her *** to court and get on to Georgia!

Answer 2

It comes down to three things:

1 - What's best for the child.
2 - Your right to self determination.
3 - Is there anything in the original divorce and custody decree that bars you from removing the child from the area? (I doubt it.)

In my experience, the ex/the court can't stop you from moving out of state unless it can be proven that it's an attempt to make visitation more difficult or that it presents an insuperable barrier to visitation.

Florida to Georgia is certainly not that far. The court may require that you pay half the cost for periodic trips for the child to go see the non-custodial. By periodic I mean maybe twice a year for a week or two. The fact that your parents are in Georgia (I assume they're near where you want to move) buttresses your case, as it helps to provide a stable and supporting family for the child.

It also depends on the state which has jurisdiction.

It's also a crapshoot to some extent.

From what I've experienced, the court doesn't care two cents for whether the other parent is unstable. I had an attorney tell me that even if I could prove the ex was a heroin addict (she wasn't), it wouldn't matter - heroin addicts have rights too. So your bit about her unstable living arrangements means virtually nothing. Been there, done that, doesn't mean diddly in front of the judge.

Despite your statements about your child's parental preferences, I wouldn't lean too hard on that. Although the court is supposed to take those into account, especially after a certain age, it's usually hard to get a court to take them seriously, and it's also tough to subject a child to court testimony, even if only by deposition or examination by a court appointed psychologist.

I'd say you have a good chance if things are as you state them to be. Get a lawyer. Get a good lawyer. It's better to spend the money and get it done quick and clean than to waste the time and heartache and get nothing.

Answer 3

My daughter (in her 30's) went thru something very much like that in Virginia. We paid a couple hundred dollars so she could go talk with an attorney, who was a part-time judge in family court. Before we visited the attorney, we wrote done what was going on and included specific examples.

Here is what we learned and how things played out.

The ex-husband had agreed that the mother could take the son (age 8) with her when she enrolled in college about 300 miles away. As soon as she started college the ex-husband theatened to take her to court for abandoning their child (the son had stayed behind with the step-father).

So the mother took the son with her. Then the ex-husband threatened to seek full custody (he had weekend rights). The attorney told us what factors a judge would consider. He had us to take photos of the child's new room (where his mother was staying), and get letters of references from the school he would be attending, the child's new teachers, the church he would be going to, etc.

The ex-husband still took her to court. Where (as our attorney had predicted) the judge sided with the mother. That the mother was working (by going to school) to take better care of the child and the father could not prevent this. It did cost a lot of money (about $10,000) to go to court. But since then the ex-husband has not gone back to court (due to the expense?). This was about 4 years ago.

Our attorney also said if the son had been older - 10 years or older - that the judge would simply have asked the kid "Which parent did he want to be with?".

It would also be helpful if you kept a diary of events and conversations you have with the ex-wife. That way, you are documenting what occurs. To a court there is a big difference in saying "they are always fighting" as opposed to "the child visited 12 times in the past 3 months, and each time the step-father called for me to come get the child".

If there was 1 things we could change, it woud have been that when going to court to respond to the father ccomplaint - we would have asked the judge to make the child support payment to the court. In Virginia, this is often done to avoid late payments and non-payments of child support.

The father is a police office and is always at least 3-6 months behind in payments. And has not adjusted his support payments since going to court 4 years ago. He never provides any extra support (like even a birthday present) to the child. This should have been documented to the court.

Answer 4

Inform your ex of the upcoming move as of it is a done deal. Propose a tentative visitation schedule, and see how she responds. Chances are that she just might be OK with the change to limit the conflict in her home.
Since you have an open channel of communication with her new husband, maybe you could present the idea to him first, and let him present it to his wife.
By about age 15, almost all states let the kids have a say in where they live and who they visit, and once you and your daughter are a thousand miles away, it gets harder for your ex to give you grief, but not impossible. Good luck.

Answer 5

At age 12 the child has the right to decide where she wants to live, regardless of parental decisions. At least, that's the law in TN for divorced parents. I'd definitely think about making the move, as it seems like a better situation than what you're in now...if the girl hates her mother then perhaps it would be best to have a bit of distance between them.

Answer 6

I don't think it's ever a good idea to move a child away from their parent unless there is abuse. Her mother (no matter how much your 12 year old claims to hate her) has a responsibility to the child and has the right to at least attempt to cultivate a relationship with her. If you think that there is going to be a battle, which is clearly not in the best interest of the child, it's not a good idea.

Answer 7

She could fight I highly doubt she will win.Your daughter should be old enough to state who she would like to live w/.It would be a good idea to have your child talk to a counselor,and the counselor could be used in court to help you and and your daughter.There's not much distance from Florida to Georgia I'm sure there's arrangement that could be made so the mother still has visitations,it may not be as often but I'm sure it will work out...Good Luck!

Answer 8

I would say you have a good chance with a good lawyer, but maybe even though your daughter "hates" it - she still needs to have time with her mother. Promise the mom she can continue visitation and go out of your way to make it happen. I know it'd be hard - but 12 year old girls always hate their moms. I did and now she's my best friend at the age of 30. Don't deny her that. You sound like you have a good case - but your best bet is to try and work things out without going to court and putting your girl on the spot of having to "choose".... good luck to you and please don't deny your daughter time with her mother.

Answer 9

I'd go for it and move. You have had custody and taken care of her. Plus, with her age, I am sure the judge will have her speak on her behalf as well. If your daughter doesn't want to live with her mom, she will have the chance to say so. But, do get a lawyer before making the move. Good luck!

Answer 10

They will look at the child's best interest and the reasons for you moving. just because you have relatives and it is a job doesnt mean they will give you the authority to remove the child from the present state. There are several things they will look at...including how far away her mother would be. You really need to contact an attorney.

Answer 11

You have custody, so unless there is a reason for your daughter to be taken away from you, all should remain the same. Since she is 12, if this is taken to court, she can speak out as to whom she wants to live with and why. Good Luck and God Bless.