I'm a transsexual... And I don't know if I should get the full operation or not. My boyfriend wants me to and he will only stay with me if I get it. He's also "seeing" my best friend who has agreed to get the operation. If I don't I will loose my boyfriend but I kinda don't want to get it because I'm really scared and I don't think getting the operation will make me any more or less a woman. He said he will only be with the person that is a "full woman" so what should I do?
2006-12-13 06:35:29 · 12 answers · asked by Hydie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have to love you first before you can expect anyone else to. You are the one that has to live with your body. Don't let him pick and choose what's best for you. Only you can do that. And if he can't except that, then he really isn't the one for you. You can do bad all by yourself. You don't need anyone else to bring you down.
2006-12-13 06:39:37 · answer #1 · answered by erickarp03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will only stay with you if you get the operation, but he is also seeing your best friend. Listen to what you are saying.... are you doing it for him or you? that is the important part here. If he can see two people at that same time, do you really think he will be with just you after the operation. He is a player and wants things his way. He is controlling you and you need to really think about you and what you want. There is no going back once you do this. This is a serious step and you should not be pressured into it.
2006-12-13 14:40:33 · answer #2 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend and love, respect, and accept you for who you are, then you need to let him go and move on! There's nothing wrong with being yourself-even though you're a transsexual. Besides, if you don't want to have the operation and if you're too scared to do it, then don't do it! I don't think that your boyfriend isn't good enough for you, because he wants you to change yourself for him, so the both of you can have a great relationship! Keep this in mind:DON'T CHANGE YOURSELF FOR NOBODY!!!!!!!
2006-12-13 14:41:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get bottom surgery for the sake of a relationship. Seen the movie Hedwig?
Do if you want to, but it sounds like you need to spend some time on your own thinking about the options before you.
2006-12-14 12:48:18 · answer #4 · answered by Evan T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lose him. Yes I have friends who are transsexuals. All but one is happy with being who they are and playing the role of female. He is smothering you in the worst way and playing you for a fool. Turn the table on him. Walk and never look back!
2006-12-13 15:07:17 · answer #5 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, if you're man is not there to fully support you when you need it then he's not boyfriend material. As much as you care for him,if he's switching partners because you dont want to do something then obviously he dosen't care.
If its something that scares you, then no one, NO ONE should force you. Neither should people threaten to not be your friend or boyfriend just because of this.
As much as its been said, I think there is someone out there who would appreciate you just as you are :) Find yourself some awesome friends and have fun. people dont have to sit and contantly worry what other people think of them. (I'm guilty of it too, but I dont like it, so I'm trying my best not to either)
I'm just a woman, I'm not a transexual, so I dont know what it would be like to go though this, but I DO KNOW that I wouldn't put up with someone treating me like that when there is something i really dont want to do.
*nods*
2006-12-13 14:41:50 · answer #6 · answered by Ami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to kick him to the curve...he doesn't deserve you if he can't accept you knowing where you come from and who are really are. Get a new man...there is plenty out there who perfer you not to have the operation...don't the guys like it anyway? KICK HIM OUT....good luck.
2006-12-13 14:40:27 · answer #7 · answered by mvang_7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a general rule, and it's a good one....Don't go against your own feelings and judgment just to "keep" someone else.
Does he "love you"? Let's see...he wants you to do this "for him", so that shows he loves himself. He doesn't seem to care about how you feel about it, so that's another point against him. And what's this deal about his seeing your best friend?
When we really love someone, we want what is best for THEM, even if it doesn't include us.
My advice...don't do surgery unless YOU, without anyone else's influence...want to do it.
2006-12-13 14:45:52 · answer #8 · answered by roadlessgraveled 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u should concentrate on YOUR being mixed up before u worry about a boyfriend. u need to come to terms with why it is u feel that your gender is some type of mistake. hate to break it to u, but it is not. u are what u were meant to be. deal with that.
2006-12-13 14:43:23 · answer #9 · answered by feetal2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. If this guy is seeing someone else then why are you with him? Don't you want someone who accepts you for who you are? This is a major surgery. If you have this done make sure your doing it for yourself and not for someone else. Dump this guy he's a total jerk.
2006-12-13 14:43:14 · answer #10 · answered by autumn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋