Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married:
Merry Christmas to you and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering that I can't breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you'll spend on my grandchildren. God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.
Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me -- we buried Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral so Aunt Viola and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come. I bet she's never even watched that videotape of my hemorrhoid surgery, has she?
Well son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane beating off muggers last week, but don't you worry about me. I'm also getting used to the cold since they turned my heat off and am grateful because the frost on my bed numbs the constant pain. Now don't you even think about sending any more money because I know you need it for those expensive family vacations you take every year. Give my love to my darling grandbabies and my regards to whatever-her-name-is -- the one with the black roots who stole you screaming from my bosom.
Merry Christmas.
Love, Mom
2006-12-13 06:30:04 · 16 answers · asked by Cowboy 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
very gd lol 10/10
2006-12-13 06:37:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know my mom loves those wallflowers from Bath & Body Works. They are like glade plug ins,but not. I got her those in holiday scents with refills for when it isn't the holidays. Also scented hand soaps are good. Plus you can throw in stuff for her like body butter or body spray. Also, B&B always has really good Xmas sales! If that isn't up your mum's alley, then consider if she has a hobby, such as tennis, running, horseback riding etc. You could get her a charm and put it on a nice necklace chain. That way she has something from the person she loves about one of the things she loves to do. You're probably a bit old, for the whole make a gift thing,unless you are super creative and crafty (which im sure you are), however, if that isn't working out, then maybe call up dad or a brother and ask if they want to go in on a gift of a massage, facial, haircut, spa day or whatever it is your mom enjoys doing. Hope this helps and Good Luck!
2016-05-23 19:38:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes!
2006-12-13 06:33:07 · answer #3 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds just like someone I know- bless
2006-12-13 06:34:11 · answer #4 · answered by Mad Eng 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats the point of carrying on ...
2006-12-13 06:36:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
arrrr thats nice reminds me of what my mother in law says about me
2006-12-13 06:34:07 · answer #6 · answered by ann n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good Lord....has that lady got some issues or what! lol...funnie!!
:O)
2006-12-13 06:33:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend got that same letter yesterday ha ha ha
2006-12-13 07:40:29 · answer #8 · answered by abbie g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA HA HA!!! Ya that's a good one
2006-12-13 06:57:07 · answer #9 · answered by La Chula 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
typical
2006-12-13 06:35:43 · answer #10 · answered by Manisha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋