Anyone out there been through this? I was asked by a friend if I would allow her to have some friends at my place, however, I needed to ride with one guy to show him the way. It was all a set up because she and the others wanted to go somewhere else and she knew I would not want to go, so since she drove that night she asked the guy to take me home, but swore the rest of them would be behind us. Needless to say they never showed. I was told that because I had a few drinks, and I let him in, that I would not have a leg to stand on in court. The detective advised me to drop it. The other guy had been drinking, doing steroids and cocaine (which at the time I did not know). Isn't it sad that as long as you let him in, the guy can do whatever he wants to you and get away with it? I still have a hard time being alone with a man when I first meet someone. It takes a long time to trust.
2006-12-13 06:20:25 · 12 answers · asked by Starlight 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am so sorry this happened to you. Police can be awful sometimes, and the criminal justice system doesn't always help. I would recommend calling the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network at 1.800.656.HOPE. They can connect you with your local rape crisis center, where you can seek counseling. If this was recent, you should also go to a doctor to get checked out.
I hope you realize that this was not your fault. It doesn't matter that you had a drink and let him into your house. He chose to rape you. You did nothing wrong.
2006-12-13 06:25:54 · answer #1 · answered by AClaire 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Consensual sex is an understanding between two people and just because there was alcohol involved and he was in your house--even if it was 4:00AM--doesn't make it consensual. The best way to avoid these situations is to take precautions not to get into them. I'm not saying that what happened was your fault--because any guy that doesn't take no for an answer should be castrated... what I am saying is had you made some other arrangements or different choices, you and that other guy would have never been alone and he wouldn't have had the opportunity to do what he did.
There is no statute of limitations on sex crimes. You should reconsider filing against that guy.
2006-12-13 06:35:42 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should get a second opinion about whether you have a case or not. Date rape is very common but it's still wrong. The one thing you have going for you is that you didn't know this guy. If you knew the guy and agreed to go on a date with him, your case would be much weaker. Will your friend that put you in this situation testify as to how she set you up? That would help.
Do you want to give me his address and I'll go beat him up for you? ;)
2006-12-13 06:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by pamgissa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Def try to press charges. Also, if it's reported that he's done this to you, & if he's been arrested for this already, it'd look better for you & he's more likely to go to jail. Regarding allowing him in to your place, if something was stolen fr your place, the cops would say that you let him in & so basically they'd be saying that it's your fault. (I lived w/ a fam & someone would come in to my room when I wasn't home & sometimes steal stuff. Cuz I was living there, even if they stole a hug sum of $, nothing could be done. Just thought I'd add this, just in case you didn't know :) ) The cops are just lazy to do their job. Hopefully he's put behind bars. Good luck !!!
2006-12-13 06:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had some guy's put some medicine in with my alcoholic drinks(had no idea until I realized the next day what had actually transpired). Needless to say my friend found me past out and thank God she came just in time because this guy was undressing me! She threw his fan at him and then punched him a few times and got me out of there. I guess when she got me out of the building I started throwing up everywhere and had no shoes on. She gave me hers to walk in and got me home safe and sound. Thank God she came to the rescue or else I would've been an actual victim of date rape.
2006-12-13 06:33:19 · answer #5 · answered by serenity113001 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel sooo sorry for you!! That story and the other stories from girls who have been through this stuff puts me to tears!! I wish I could cut off the idiot's balls. This must be awful to endure.
With that said, I want to tell you that not all guys are like this. This guy and all the countless bastards who do such things ought to be locked up! I am not a drinker or druggie though either. I am looking for my future wife, and who knows if she will have endured something similar to you. I am sorry.
2006-12-13 06:30:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is complete bullshit. If he forced you against your will to have sex with him, then it doesn't matter what you did to get into the situation. that's like saying its ok to murder someone because they were in your yard. Screw talking to a detective, grab your phonebook and CALL A LAWYER. Also, don't be afraid to talk to people: your parents, your school counselor, friends, etc... No guy should ever get away with doing something like that without having the same done to him by JimBob in prison.
2006-12-13 06:34:07 · answer #7 · answered by Bud Weezy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
awe sweetie I AM SOOOOO sorry this happened to you, I was raped too, the sucky thing about me was that he got me from behind (leaving a party) he had a mask on and put chloroform over my mouth so I have no clue what he looked like sounded like nothing, we're kinda in the same boat, it took me a while to get close to a man, but I didn't let it control my life I took control of it, email me if you need some one to talk to about this I will totally be there for you.
2006-12-13 06:31:45 · answer #8 · answered by graciegirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dame that sucks Yeah kinda for me but it was a girl that took advantage of me when I got drunk and it was some one I kinda knew.She put a D##Kring on me and got me hard and well she screwed me I guest I can say.Mess up hah.But im cool with it since she was responsible to put a condom on me.
2006-12-13 06:27:08 · answer #9 · answered by tino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh wrong !! The Detective is an A** ! It doesn't matter if he is inside you and you say no stop he has to stop! If he doesn't stop then it's rape plain and simple ! That person wasn't your friend stop talking to her period.
2006-12-13 06:30:39 · answer #10 · answered by Mz Jones 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋