Is it over or am I safe?

Question

My gf and I had been doing incredibly well and on friday we had a really bad date night. She heard some bad news about her sister and I had never seen her upset or mad before and we had a big miscommunication on when we were meeting that night. Through the entire evening, she was criticizing me on so many things about me, so as a result, I was acting differently through the night. She accused me of being too sensitive, too serious, acting unconfident for the first time, and she was incredibly distant and unaffectionate for the first time. The more I tried to do to cheer her up and get closer, the more she would pull away and get upset. She ended up cancelling our plans the next day, told me she would call me on sunday as to when we would be getting together that day and she never called. On monday she called me to see how I was doing, she said she ended up doing nothing the last few days and went to bed real early and she will be seeing me on sat. Is it over or am I safe?

Answer 1

Obviously she was not in a good mood and took it out on you. Of course that isn't right and you should let her know that how she treated you didn't make you feel all that great. Be prepared for anything to happen on Saturday though.

Answer 2

Right now it sounds as if she has received the bad news and she just doesnt know how to deal with it. She wants to help her but theres nothing she can do about it! So she is feeling out of control- desperate- and helpless cuz she cant really help! So sometimes when people r feeling that way they have a strong tendency to push away people who r closest to them ya know? She is going thru a hard time and the only thing u can do is let her know u love her and understand what she is going thru and that u r there for her anytime 24 hrs a day and BE there when she does need you! At certain times I think everyone has said some things they dont really mean! I dont think its over with you two- just give her a little room to work on her problems and let her know she is loved! Good luck to u

Answer 3

You're not safe - if you let her treat you like this then she will do it everytime she is upset. Point out that you understand she got some bad news and you were there to support her however you do not like being treated as a punching bag for her emotions.

Did she tell you she would see you on saturday or ask? If she told you say you are busy and will arrange something another day, or insist on her making it up to you, like by buying dinner. This should also be the case if she asked. An appology from her is the minimum. If you get one, accept graciously and forget about it.

Next time simply say you are there to support her but if she doesn't want that support you are leaving (and leave if necessary). You may think you are being mean but you will have a stronger relationship if she knows you won't be walked all over and that you are there to provide support, not to be attacked for something that is not your fault.

Answer 4

Girls are like all that time my friend.
Even when you're married they can act this way. Imagine living underthe same roof while she blows you off like this, and then, by her actions Monday, ends up regretting it. She needed some time to digest whatever happened to her sister, and just took out the stress on you, I suppose. In a way, it means that you are important to her and she is very comfortable with you if you're the one she takes her stress out on. Tell her that your'e always there for her when she needs to talk or cry, even if you can't understand fully what she's going through. If she still acts oddly after that, it's a sign she's looking to get out the relationship. All the best.

Answer 5

Well, having only heard your side of things, it sounds like you didn't do anything wrong. It sounds like you let her put you on the defensive even tough she was the one taking out her frustrations on you. The question should probably be, "Is she safe?" Is this a glimpse of more to come in the future whenever she gets upset? You need to let her know that you are there for her when things aren't going well for her but set some boundaries. Don't let her think its okay to treat you this way. You don't want this type pf behavior to become a habit in your relationship.

Answer 6

The fact that she got some bad news about her sister colored her entire evening.Cut her some slack.Be there for her, listen to her and support her.Family issues are some of the hardest to deal with.If she was distant and unaffectionate it's probably because she had some really stressful stuff on her mind.

Answer 7

I'd take a long, hard look at this one. I see red flags everywhere. Consider a life-time of this kind of behavior. This was a peek into a window showing how your gf handles stress. It sounded to me like she took it out on you. This is immature and abusive.

Answer 8

Hmmm, that's a tough one. She might just be upset about her sister. Instead of trying to cheer her up or get closer, ask her to talk and just LISTEN. Only give feed back if she wants it. She might just need someone to listen to her vent, not try and cheer her up physically.

Answer 9

I doubt it. What she said has obviously been stewing for some time, her sisters incident just caused it to spill over.
You need to get things straightened out, instead of just hoping that things will clear up on their own.

Good luck.

Answer 10

You should be safe. It was good you let her calm down a bit. maybe after a little longer you can go ion another date. For now, you should call her and let her know that your shoulder is one she is welcome to cry on (I love that).