I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, I love him but the man just cant seem to stop hurting me and cheating on me. Do peaople really change, and has anyone ever got out of a situation like this? What made you strong enough to do it. How did you get over missing him???
2006-12-13 05:46:19 · 11 answers · asked by poe2184 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ive never been in a situation like that, but it sounds like u need to leave. If hes always doing this its not worth it. If its been 3 years and he hasnt changed his behavior chances are it will never happen no matter how much u love him. U have to get the courage to break it off with him. It might hurt in the beginning but u will eventually find a guy who will treat u right
2006-12-13 05:51:51 · answer #1 · answered by Mikey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, I've been in your situation and the latest this year too. It's not easy. You have to realize no matter how many times they do if ever tell you that they are going to change and point it out, it won't happen until they continually try changing it. You do need to leave him, the hardest to is when you love them. So I'll suggest some things I've done to help myself pull myself away. 1.) Remember every time he hurt you, and let yourself get angry. Don't rational and make excuses for his behavior. 2.) Tell him you need time to think; if he refuses to let you have time to yourself like calling you and such, block his number with ur phone. Some cell phones offer to not accept notification of certain numbers. 3.) This is the hardest; throw everything away you've saved during the relationship that reminds u of you guys or him. Don't forget afterward take it to the outside ttrash can. 4.) Delete his number. 5.) Hang out with friends, maybe one or two that don't hang with him or that u didnt meet through him. 6.) When you feel the urge to wanna know how he is doing, question yourself, if he did he would have stopped by to ask me how I am doing if he cared. 7.) Start going out to cafe's or a lounge; not clubs because you don't need a sex guy right now. 8.) Pick up a book to read; any of your interest. I suggest this one because it will help you, All The Good Ones Aren't Taken. 9. Bake something and start dating little by little. If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel lonely go over a friends house. 10. Be yourself and do all the things you missed doing, whether it was drawing or sewing, etc.
This will help, you just need to stay away from him, divert the attention on thinking about him so u don't miss him much. It's hard but seriously he doesn't deserve you. And honestly, there are good guys who would love to have you and they are not taken. I hope this helps. Take care
2006-12-13 14:01:30 · answer #2 · answered by River23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is very immature and insecure. He may be a good person at his core but he has issues.People put up with this because they too have problems with insecurity. Repeated infidelity and abuse is not the same as a one time indescretion.You both need help to recover. Recovering from infidelity and abuse takes a firm committment from both partners for healing to be possible. If you can't get that from your boyfriend,you need to leave.You don't have to be his enemy,just don't be with him anymore.If you have any fear he will hurt you,get a peace bond and go to a shelter. These people have problems they can't control. Experienced counselors have little luck on the short term,you are no match for his problems. Look at the statistics on abuse leading to murder or worse. Think of that when you are missing him. Take care of yourself and deal with your own problems while you are getting over his so you don't keep getting into the same type of relationships over and over.You are God's child and he doesn't want you being hurt.Ask Him to help you do what you need to and the strength to follow through. God bless you.MerryChrist'mas.
2006-12-13 14:19:50 · answer #3 · answered by wonder woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard. One of the hardest things you will ever do.
But, if you have any dignity or sense of self-worth or self-preservation, you must leave.
Could he change? Yes, it's remotely possible, but unlikely. Even still, you have to act under the assumption that the way he is now is the way he will always be and only if and when he proves to you over and over again consistently that he has changed for the better can you even begin to trust him. But he's got to do that on his own. It is his responsibility to change himself. It is not yours.
Your responsibility is to get out now and safely. Contact your closest women's shelter who can help you come up with a safe plan to leave, because statistics show that the MOST dangerous time for an abused woman is when she leaves. That is when abusive men become most dangerous and often try to kill their partners out of uncontrollable rage. Please, have a plan of safety before you leave. It could save your life.
Good luck and God bless!
2006-12-13 15:41:37 · answer #4 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Self-esteem and self-respect are the key to this kind of thing. If you thought more of yourself you would not tolerate it. That is nothing against you - you have been a victim of a particular mentality that says women are nothing without a man and we certainly want to be included in the group of women who have a man so we often put up with this to avoid being alone. Trust me, being alone is not that bad and maybe after you come to enjoy that more and not give much thought to a man in your life, a good one will come along. That was my case and I think I'll be living happily ever after. Oh, people only change if they want to so you can't make it happen in someone else.
2006-12-13 13:54:40 · answer #5 · answered by A B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother was very in love with my father for twentyone years, but he was abusive. He cheated on her, and hit her when he got mad. She put up with it for so long for love. My father controlled my mother so much. When she finally left him, she was lost and heartbroken at first. Eventually, after some therapy, she realized that she was a better person that who he had made her believe she was.
It is hard to leave someone you love, no matter what they do for you. You will get over missing them once you realize how much they made you miss. It's something that you have to do for yourself so that you can live the best life that you can.
Good luck!
2006-12-13 13:52:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sooner you get out of that situation the better. No one, I repeat, no one, has to put up with that kind of mess. Abuse is abuse, plain and simple.
2006-12-13 13:57:24 · answer #7 · answered by Mike M. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you do need to get out of the relationship, go to the nearest abuse shelter, they have counseling there to help you and it is a safe place for you to be. run as far away as you can
2006-12-13 15:48:20 · answer #8 · answered by angeleyes3535 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
baby he has to find out what he has lost once your gone and don't call him no women should be hit and he need his *** kicked so he can feel what you feel. what he is doing is not love that's how you lose some one you love
2006-12-13 15:05:00 · answer #9 · answered by big will 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt change. It just get worst . Its hard to get out of and not easy. just never look back. thats not love.
2006-12-13 13:55:24 · answer #10 · answered by latina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋