so i did't get much.
I am now in my 30's with a 3 year old girl, i work hard and now i've got a few quid.
I will be the first tot admit i spoil her, i want her to have all the things i never had,is this bad?
My mum is always going on at me that i spend to much on my daughter, is she jellous that i can give her nice things, things she could not give me??
2006-12-13 05:39:04 · 16 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My little girl is very well behaved and does what she is told,she is not a spoilt brat.
2006-12-13 05:50:28 · update #1
It depends on how she ends up with things, I think. If it's a matter of giving in to demands for things, or satisfying every fleeting whim, then you're spoiling her.
If on the other hand, you're providing things you think will be fun, or educational, or stimulating in some way, then I think you're being a good parent.
There's a balance to be struck in terms of things like clothes and decor for bedrooms etc - you want things to be nice for her, of course, but I don't think that required huge spending for the sake of having designer labels that mean nothing to a three year old.
Your mother probably grew up in an era when things were very different, money was scarce and there wasn't the disposable mentality we have now, and also the same investment wasn't made in children's toys or games. It's probably hard for her to understand how these vast amounts can be spent on games or toys etc.
I think if you can afford it, go ahead! How could you not spoil a three year old anyway!
2006-12-13 05:49:49 · answer #1 · answered by RM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom's not jealous probably frugal. You shouldn't spoil your daughter. You will be setting her up, to grow up being a person who covets material items. If you keep her in the most expensive clothes and items now, she will try to continue that lifestyle once she leaves home. We all know there is a growing period when you first leave and most people can't afford Gucci, Prada, etc. but attempt to buy it because as kids they were use to having it. Get her reasonable items(normal clothing, shoes, etc.) and maybe like 2 to 3 major items. Instill in her the characterics that you would want in a young woman. i.e. Not a woman who was money hungry and materialistic.
2006-12-13 05:51:16 · answer #2 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is probably concerned that you will spoil your daughter that's all. I doubt if she is jealous , after all the best thing you can give any child is love and care. If you are well off don't let your daughter grow up thinking you can provide her with everything she wants, one day she will have to provide for herself and will be fed up that she can't have as much as you gave her, her future husband will feel the same.
2006-12-13 07:30:46 · answer #3 · answered by ffiondove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what's the matter with your mom, but you seem to have i good idea about her attitude. But i totally agree with you and how your raise you kid. We grew up pretty poor like you and I hope to give my kids everything I never had as well. So keep your head up and continue to do what makes your Little girl happy. Explain to you mother what the problem is she'll understand.
2006-12-13 05:45:01 · answer #4 · answered by sadiebabe81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids don't get spoiled just by having nice things they get spoiled when parents let them behave like little monsters and still buy them nice things.
2006-12-13 05:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by Rhapsody 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mom to relax. The girl is 3 not 16. It is okay to buy things, but spend time with her too.
It hurts children when they have everything they want, and know how to get it.
2006-12-13 06:13:08 · answer #6 · answered by rottymom02 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My life is very much the same! As long as you teach her the things that really matter, that money cant buy she will be fine! Spoil her all you want!
2006-12-13 05:45:51 · answer #7 · answered by lola 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spoiling can be okay, however try to remain in control. If it turns into "Mommy if you don't buy me a car I'm going to kill myself" then you've got a problem. I don't think your mom is jelous. I think she sees how well you turned out and thinks that maybe raising your daughter differently than she raised you may worry her a bit.
2006-12-13 05:44:49 · answer #8 · answered by jacque_sue89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moderation is the key. Don't live what you did not have, through your daughter. It could be damaging when she becomes a teenager. Love her unconditionally and be grateful that you can provide for her. Your Mother is not jealous, she is just being a protective Grandmother.
2006-12-13 05:46:05 · answer #9 · answered by TracyBee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are trying to compensate by giving your little girl everything you didn't have and I personally don't see anything wrong with that provided that your love for her isn't defined by things that you give her. You say she is well behaved etc. etc. so in my opinion she is a very lucky little girl!!!
2006-12-13 07:37:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋