Ok to sum it up, I was a virgin until I met my bf (who was not a virgin and has had plenty experience...unfortuntely lol). Well, we have been together almost a year, and it just seems like our sex life is boring. I give him oral, but he wont return the favor because i told him (early in out relationship) that i didnt want to try it but maybe in the future. Well that was a year ago, and now i am willing to try but i can tell he has gotten into the 'i can get without giving' mode. Also, I havent orgasmed at all! A few time I have come close, but it seems like it takes forever and he can only last like 5 min. One time it felt really good so I told him flat out "that feels good" and he LAUGHED at me. Basically, my self confidence is so low when it comes to stuff like that (bc i had no experience and he laughs when i try to be sexy)and I never feel satisfied. I love him so much I cant leave him, but i need some help before I go crazy...what can i do? any suggestions please??
2006-12-13 05:38:09 · 22 answers · asked by HlpMePlz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
nope, i never faked it...ive always told him the truth, if i come close i tell him so he can get the hint to do it next time, but it never really works, otherwise i just stay quiet and he gets the point
2006-12-13 05:45:36 · update #1
He obviously doesnt have a clue what he is doin.()
2006-12-13 05:40:55 · answer #1 · answered by Saint 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, he doesn't sound like someone I would want to be in bed with. Laugh at you when you say that you like something? That's just messed up. Let me tell you now, thats not normal. Most guys get really turned on when they hear a girl talk about how good he is doing, etc.
Second of all, just tell him that you want him to go down on you. I know that my fiance LOVES doing it. Or suggest 69, that way he knows that you want to try him doing it to you.
You do need to sit him down and tell him that you arent happy in the bedroom. I know a lot of people will say that I am wrong for saying this, but sex is a big part of a relationship. I am not saying that it has to be phenomenal with ten orgasms, but for some women, if she doesnt feel comfortable and loved and secure and bonded with the man she is having sex with, it is almost impossible to have orgasms. There should be no laughing at you or what you say.
Try changing positions every few minutes so that he will last longer, or switch up the pace if you think he is about to orgasm and end it.
Good luck because I would hate to be in that situation and I would try to fix it as soon as possible.
2006-12-13 05:44:51 · answer #2 · answered by Barbi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, cut him off of the oral if he won't return the favor. That's bullshit. If you are ready for it, then he should be doing it. Second, I can't believe that your man LAUGHED at you when you told him that it felt good. Most men LOVE for you to talk during love making, it boosts their confidence and turns them on. Third, don't be self concious about you taking a while to orgasm. Most women don't orgasm right away, and especially when the dude can't hold his **** together for more than five minutes. The first thing I would do is tell him that he made you feel bad when he laughed at you, and that you aren't happy in the bedroom. That's just straight up disrespectful, and there is no way you would ever enjoy him in the sack if he doesn't start focusing on pleasuring you first, and himself second. No one likes a selfish sexual partner. Good luck!
2006-12-13 05:48:26 · answer #3 · answered by cna_77381 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can see you love him, and a lot then he deserves. 1) he shouldn't laugh at you when you're trying to be sexy; if he meant a lot to you he should take into consideration of your emotional welfare hun. 2.) he's a selfish jerk. Thats the reality. It hurts hearing and accepting it but I can relate dozens of times to this. Be yourself; and stop thinking you're inexperienced. I can see how that affects you. So I suggest, reading cosmopolitan magazine; it'll give u lots of tips and some stuff for urself when it comes to fashion, guys and sex. To be honest, I think you need to leave the guy because you deserve better. You deserve someone who is willing to go down on u if u go down on them, to kiss u with passion instead of lust hunger. Oh, and don't worry about the affect that you haven't had an orgasm. I have been plenty times close to it and I've been sexually active for 3 yrs. I finally got my first orgasm with someone recently. He's my bf but my gosh, it is something between us chemically, and maybe more. so take care, and leave ur man if he doesn't change.
2006-12-13 05:47:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
authentic. i replaced into on the game and the ambience replaced into unexplainable. i'm also a United fan yet I went to the game because I knew it will be an excellent sport. The seem on Capello's face at the same time as Keane were provided that cracker and Berbaov almost received it for the Spurs. 2 impressive hearders and Woodgate strikes lower back.
2016-11-26 01:07:28 · answer #5 · answered by spadafora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
coming from a womens point of view i think u should sit him down and dicuss this situation with him if he loves u he will understand u should try to boost ur self confidence a little bit because this it ur time to be sexy so what if sounds funny u are getting into it so be free and pluse u should be the one in charges not him maybe if u try more than one position and since it is ur fisrt time he needs to take it step be step and let u try dont go down on him he should go donw on u so u can experince the feel as well cuz he probably knows how it feels so the best way is to talk with him
2006-12-13 05:53:24 · answer #6 · answered by trackstardiva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow what an a*s*s, I understand though. Just be blunt with him. "I've decided I want to try it, and you're not getting anything until I get what I want first." You just have to put some guys in their place.
Just tell him you don't know why you bother trying to turn him on if you're just gonna feel ridiculous because he laughs at you. Show him that you're angy and hurt or he's just going to continue to walk all over you. Lay on the guilt trip. It works real good.
There are other ways he can get you to orgasm. It doesn't have to be with intercourse, therefore you dont' have to worry about his 5 minutes of glory. Some girls need "outside" pleasure to get one. If you know what I mean.
There's no reason for you to have a low self esteem about yourself. Sounds to me like he's the one who doesn't know what he's doing since he can't even pleasure you properly.
2006-12-13 05:50:39 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? Becuse if you told him you did not want to try oral but give him you are crazy. And now if you have dicided to try and he will not return the favor the best you can do is get rid if him. I know you say you love him but it has really become a onesided relationship you are doing all the givving and getting nothing in return. He is not gonna change how. he is a Male. And you are gonna remain unsatified.
2006-12-13 05:44:49 · answer #8 · answered by sassylyn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow girl!! thats pretty good explaining! Maybe you should try a more dominant approach, tell him what he is going to down and when and where! My girlfriend does that every now and then, and i love it! You got to be able to be yourself in the bedroom without him laughing ( thats childish ) because thats where everything unfolds. the 5 minute thing kinda sucks but there are other things he can do to help you get off! he might have to get a tag team partner like a "jack rabbit" or vibrator, somthing! Dont tell him what the deal is because he might get upset, but tell him that you wanna spice things up alittle!
2006-12-13 05:45:19 · answer #9 · answered by smitty4626 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is sad.... too bad he's not a better lover.
Maybe he might be willing to learn how to be a good lover for you, now that you are ready to have a good lover. (I can't believe you told him no to oral s e x .... what in the hell were you thinking? That he'd bite you? And now look at where you ended up.
You'd better start learning about your body.... you need to figure aout all the ways to give yourself good orgasms... so you can learn to do the same with him...
Said no to oral s e x .... I can't believe it. What were you thinking...
2006-12-15 04:08:09 · answer #10 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex begins in the mind. if your lover doesn't respect you, there's no trick to make it better. a partner should not laugh when you express what you like or be selfish about pleasuring you. If he's selfish like this in the bedroom, i can only imagine that his behavior extends you other parts of the relationship as well. do you love him or do you feel you need him? there's a big difference.
2006-12-13 05:49:03 · answer #11 · answered by L. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋