Me and her have been together for 4 yrs out of nowhere she wants out of the relationship. I let her go. She comes back 2 wk later and wants back. After that she breaks up w/ me agian two wk later she calls me and wants help. I help her and we are still acting like a couple. She doesnt know what she wants. I ask if she wants back she says yes. I say lets take it slow. She agrees two days later i met up w/ her 4 lunch she say we seem more like friends. OK so i go up to her place later that night and i tell her how i feel, that i want to marry her and she in my eyes was the only girl 4 me. I also tell her i think she doesnt know what she wants. She agrees She says right now we are friends but more i dunno she says. We both decide we need our space from each other. The whole time we are flirting and laughing at each other as though nothing is wrong. We both 20 and 21 i can understand if she wants figure her self out be4 pursueing the relationship if that is what it is. What is going on?
2006-12-13 05:36:33 · 9 answers · asked by detox_denny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like you two may need to just stay away from each other for a little bit so you both can think about things and see where the relationship is headed. It looks like there is some confusion on both ends....step away from it and don't just take her back because she is begging for you to do so, think about what this back and forth stuff is doing to you as well. Once you reach a decision, be firm about it. The yo-yo effect in a relationship is never good.
2006-12-13 05:43:36 · answer #1 · answered by asreid14 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's using you as her safety cushion. You are safe. You are known. You will bend over backwards for her.... You're right that she doesn't know what she wants. But letting her continue to use you isn't going to accomplish anything but... probably... end your relationship down the line as enemys.
It's hard, I know, but you need to walk away. And not take her back when she bats her eyes at you. She's not wanting you, but your safely. (a hint for you... this action is very very enpowering to her. She is controling you.)
Be there for her if you wish, when she's in the hospital, or her car has slid off the road. Something life threatening. But stop being her handyman. It will help her grow up and decide what it is that she honestly wants. But, . . 20 and 21 are still confusing years. She is needing some hard life lessons as to treating others you care about. If you care. Take the hard road and help her to grow up. You will grow from the experiance yourself. Love isn't easy.
2006-12-13 13:53:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is not ready to settle down now don't force the issue if you marry to early you will more than likely end up getting a divorce. Wait until you both have time to grow up a little more then decide if you still want to get married or not. Divorce can be ugly . If you were to have children it would be even harder. The best advice I can give you is to wait or move on.
2006-12-13 13:44:37 · answer #3 · answered by Hunny Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like shes not ready for such a commitment. This also kinda happened to me before, the girl wakes up one day and just decides its not gonna work. U and her should just be friends especially after her leaving and coming back into the relationship many times.
2006-12-13 13:40:39 · answer #4 · answered by Mikey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is playing with you, drop her. You cannot life your live with someone like this. What if you get married, will she want a divorce in a few months and then want to get remarried? This girl is playing you.
2006-12-13 13:40:52 · answer #5 · answered by Elizabeth Howard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she just wants to get laid by other guys every now and then and not be committed to anyone special. When she comes back to you...it's your turn again.
2006-12-13 13:40:22 · answer #6 · answered by Zig Zag 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is immature, that is what is going on. She is acting like a little kid. She is not ready for a relationship. Just be her friend.
2006-12-13 13:39:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is needy and doesn't know what she wants. You are her enabler by always taking her back.
2006-12-13 13:44:54 · answer #8 · answered by JoeP 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry bud
but you better get used to it
THEY ARE ALL THAT WAY
FICKLE
2006-12-13 13:39:57 · answer #9 · answered by seven_ms_man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋