im 20 and my boyfriend is 26 we live together and we have a 2year old and im 5 months pregnant with our second the thing is he acts so immature he never takes things seriously its really getting to me how can he be a good boyfriend and a dad if he is just immature????? please help
2006-12-13 05:16:48 · 28 answers · asked by sexy girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you can not CHANGE him, if he does not want to change, it will not happen
2006-12-13 05:20:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is your boyfriend being immature about? is he being petty about silly things because it sounds like you both have a lot on your plate and he could be taking it out on you. Was he always like this or has he changed, it maybe his way of dealing with things, perhaps he has always been the same but because you are pregnant you may feel a little more sensitive. Get support from family and friends and try not to be with each other's face all the time. Good luck with the new baby too.
2006-12-13 19:52:59 · answer #2 · answered by honeybell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can still be a good dad if he's immature, it's like having a playmate for the kids. You can't change him, that you really need to undestand. He probably takes things seriously, but some people use humor and sarcasm as a defence mechanism, because they feel comfronted in a situation, or intimidated. Try to find ways to talk to him in a way that makes him feel responsible, also if he makes a mistake, let HIM figure it out, don't run and do it over for him.
2006-12-13 05:27:35 · answer #3 · answered by Brandnewshoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the female genius at the top says. You really can't change men unless you deprive them of sex. (Or football). Personally, I think that if he isn't a "grown-up" ie responsible, responsive and respectful (The three Rs) at the age of 26 then it ain't gonna happen. Women should not want to change men like they want to change furniture around. They should simply respect themselves and believe that they are worthy of choosing better men. Don't settle for second best unless you're a loser. I know there are kids involved and if your pregnant then you need real committment from your man at this time. Maybe you should insist on a real-heart-to- heart and if he doesn't respond (and you feel up to it) make it clear that the relationship is not what YOU think it should be. Good luck and happy Christmas!
2006-12-15 12:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is capable of becoming a better dad and a good boyfriend but it might take you leaving him to get him to realize he needs to grow up. But for right now you're pregnant and I would focus on raising the kid you have and having a healthy pregnancy. Give him this time to adjust and possibly grow into his role as a father and boyfriend. Be honest but not critical of him and express to him what you need and expect from him. After the baby is born and you are still dealing with the same issues, let him know that you are not happy and that if he doesnt do something to fix it you are going to move on. Leave it at that cuz he is not going to change if you nag him about it. Let him make his own choices even if you disagree with them. Sometimes a man just wants to feel like it was his choice to change, he wants to feel in control of himself. If some time passses and you dont see things getting better then you know you need to leave. This doesnt mean that its over for good you could find that he comes to his senses and realizes how much you and his family means to him. He might just be willing to do what he has to to make it work. Just be sure you stand your ground and take your time jumping back into things with him. You want him to really miss you and see you mean business. If you find he is just the same and doesnt want to do what needs to be done then you are far better off without him. Why should you live a life unhappy when a life of happiness awaits you without him.
2006-12-13 05:56:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't "change" him... Why do so many women want to "change" their man.
As the joke goes "Women marry a man and hope he'll change, Men marry a woman and hope she won't"
If he is immature now, then he will be immature when the second baby comes (BTW you do know how you got pregnant right? - meaning why would you have sex with this guy if you aren't happy in the realtionship)
2006-12-13 05:28:36 · answer #6 · answered by Lost in Merryland 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was he immature when you met? If you accepted his immaturity during your dating and still moved in with him although he was immature, you will either have to accept his immaturity or find someone who is mature enough to meet your expectations. Remember women mature faster than men especially once they become mothers. Maybe he needs some time to grow up.
2006-12-13 05:26:06 · answer #7 · answered by Country girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do to change him. Hopefully, with the babies he will realize that he needs to make a change on his own. It might be just what he needs to realize he is not taking anything seriously enough. If he doesn't eventually realize this, you will have to decide whether to stay or go.
2006-12-13 05:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by rena_813 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not go into a relationship wanting to change him. Why are you complaining now? If you think he's not a good dad, you had two years to form this opinion. If you are having problems with him now, it is a corner that you have backed yourself into.
2006-12-13 05:28:07 · answer #9 · answered by The Pope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sexy girl,
Female misconception “I can change my boyfriend-husband-S.O.”
WAYYYYY WRONG….. !!!!!!!!!!
Women can no more “change” a man than a man can “change” a woman. NO ONE will change unless they WANT TO!!
You can either: put up with the behavior, leave, or…. have effective communication with him, encourage, and “help” him to change IF he wants to change.
Far as immature,,, that behavior is so vague generalized, you need to be specific to get good answers
2006-12-13 05:29:50 · answer #10 · answered by logicalanswer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cnt CHANGE him becuse he is who he is. dnt take it the wrong way to brake everythin that you have with him. if he make you happy or really is gettin in your nerves fing the right time to tell him that he need to grow. but however you should see what make him act so immature.but trust me he is havin fun and he loves you and the fact that you make him a proud father. just keep trying dnt give up cuz life is not easy .
2006-12-13 05:28:05 · answer #11 · answered by lil cray 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋